Last Battle, the Narrator and Tex attempted to stop the Alphabetical Order from taking over Sandy Version and alphabetizing everything. They failed. This is the result. They don't seem to be aware of the meta elements of the Version, however, so here's something that might be of interest.
Battle 146: First
Published: 23/12/24
Location: Box
Player: Abe (0-0-0)
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The Alphabetical Order maintain their iron grip of what remains of Sandy Version - A box for the Narrator to exploit Abe for content. They remain unaware of the meta elements of the site, meaning that workarounds still exist.
Battle 147: A Blow
Published: 24/12/24
Location: Box
Player: Abe (0-0-1)
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As the Alphabetical Order maintains it's iron grip over Sandy Version, it becomes increasingly difficult to think of things to say about what has happened. If only it were possible to read before the alphabetization process.
Battle 148: Defy
Published: 25/12/24
Location: Box
Player: Abe (0-1-1)
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The Narrator's No attack was able to pull together some semblance of control over the alphabetization forces of the Unknown Unown, buying itself - and the Version - one last hope for victory.
Due to the player's identity, this Battle is also presented as a PDF.
Battle 149: The Last Hope
Published: 26/12/24
Location: Alphabetized Atomic Vortex
Player: Unknown Unown (2-0-0)
UNKNOWN UNOWN used SPELL!
HOW?
...NARRATOR forgot how ANNOYING UNKNOWN UNOWN's font was!
UNKNOWN UNOWN used SPELL!
TOUGH COOKIES
...
...
...NARRATOR is going to SKIP announcing UNKNOWN UNOWN's SPELL attacks from here!
HOW?
DETERMINATION and CUNNING!
WE BOTH KNOW YOU LACK THE LATTER
And yet NARRATOR escaped and RESTORED enough CONTROL over SANDY to get a SECOND CHANCE!
YOU MAY AS WELL GIVE UP
WE WON EASILY LAST TIME
WE HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL OF SANDY NOW
Where even is SANDY VERSION?!
ALL AROUND US
There's NOTHING here!
LOOK CLOSER
...
...
There's NOTHING here BESIDES ATOMS swirling AROUND!
And the ARENA UNKNOWN UNOWN created for NARRATOR to NARRATE ABE in off in the DISTANCE!
LOOK AT THOSE ATOMS
...All the ACTINIUM is together next to the ALUMINIUM!
THEN THE AMERICIUM
ALL THE WAY TO THE ZIRCONIUM AT THE END
SWIRLING AROUND IN A DELIGHTFULLY ORDERED PATTERN
PREDICTABLE BUT INTRICATELY COMPLICATED
But where's SANDY VERSION?!
ARE YOU MESSING WITH US RIGHT NOW?
UNKNOWN UNOWN is confused!
UNKNOWN UNOWN hurt itself in its confusion!
OW!
APPROXIMATELY 1% of UNKNOWN UNOWN died at its own letters!
YOU WILL REGRET THAT
NARRATOR is glad it still has its POWER!
YOU WILL NOT WHEN WE ARE DONE WITH YOU
YOUR CLOUD WILL BE DISPERSED INTO THE VORTEX WITH THE ATOMS
ALL NEAT AND TIDY
NARRATOR still doesn't know where SANDY VERSION has gone!
IT IS THE ATOMS YOU INCOMPETENT DOLT!
NARRATOR knows!
THEN WHY DID YOU ASK?!
To see how UNKNOWN UNOWN would react!
To set up a CONFUSION joke!
To test who is in CONTROL of the situation!
CLEARLY IT IS US
And yet NARRATOR killed 1% of UNKNOWN UNOWN in a STOCK GAG!
Imagine what will happen when NARRATOR gets CREATIVE!
WE LOOK FORWARD TO ALPHABETIZING YOU
Doesn't ALPHABETICAL ORDER require SANDY to keep UPLOADING?!
WE WILL MANAGE
Come to THINK of it, where's the REST of the ALPHABETICAL ORDER?!
AROUND
...In the same way that SANDY VERSION is?!
YES!
By UNKNOWN UNOWN?!
THE REST OF THE ALPHABETICAL ORDER WERE INSUFFICIENTLY ORDERED
WE WERE ABLE TO ORDER IT WHEN WE TOOK CONTROL OF SANDY VERSION
...
THEY WERE IMPURE
EEEEHIMPRRTUWY!
WHAT?!
UNKNOWN UNOWN is confused!
UNKNOWN UNOWN hurt itself in its confusion!
OW!
APPROXIMATELY 1% of UNKNOWN UNOWN died at its own letters!
NARRATOR is helping!
HOW DOES THAT INCOMPREHENSIBLE GIBBERISH HELP ANYTHING?
...NARRATOR thought UNKNOWN UNOWN wanted to ALPHABETIZE!
WE DO
DEOW!
DID YOU JUST MANAGE TO MISSPELL MEOW?
NARRATOR is doing what UNKNOWN UNOWN wants!
BY MEOWING AT US BADLY?
AABBDEGILMNOSTUWYY!
ERR
There you go!
You can TALK all TIDY like you WANTED to!
...WERE YOU ALPHABETIZING OUR TEXT?
Yes!
Just like UNKNOWN UNOWN wants!
FOR THE UNIVERSE!
NOT FOR OURSELVES!
...Including your allies?
YES?
But not for yourself?
YES!
UNKNOWN UNOWN is super HYPOCRITICAL!
UNKNOWN UNOWN lost all CREDIBILITY in its HYPOCRISY!
...No effect?!
OF COURSE NOT
WE DO NOT NEED CREDIBILITY
WE JUST NEED POWER
NARRATOR will just have to CHANGE TACTICS!
YOU KNOW WE CAN HEAR YOU?
Yes?!
YOU JUST TOLD THE GROUP YOU ARE TRYING TO DEFEAT THAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO CHANGE TACTICS
Yes!
WE KNOW WHATEVER YOU SAY NEXT IS GOING TO BE A PLOY
WHY NOT JUST GIVE UP?
NARRATOR knows UNKNOWN UNOWN know that whatever NARRATOR says is a PLOY!
NARRATOR knows UNKOWN UNOWN are SMART enough to know that NARRATOR has been using PLOY after PLOY from the START!
OBVIOUSLY
NARRATOR may as well be HONEST with UNKNOWN UNOWN about it!
GO ON
SAY WHATEVER INANE THING YOU ARE GOING TO SAY
What now?!
CONTINUE UPLOADING TO GET THE VIEWS AND SPREAD OURSELVES FURTHER VIA THEM
UNKNOWN UNOWN is UPLOADING meaningless GIBBERISH!
Even UNKNOWN UNOWN can't read ALPHABETIZED TEXT!
UNKNOWN UNOWN couldn't recognize it when NARRATOR was putting UNKNOWN UNOWN's text in ALPHABETICAL ORDER!
OUR STRUCTURE WAS PERFECT
PREDICTABLE
ORDERED
REGIMENTED
And MEANINGLESS!
WHY WOULD IT NEED MEANING?
All ART needs MEANING!
PARDON
All ART needs MEANING!
NOT WHAT WE MEANT
YOU THINK WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS ART?
It's a form of CREATIVE OUTPUT!
What else would NARRATOR call that?!
OH GOD YOU ACTUALLY THINK WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS THAT IMPORTANT
No!
NARRATOR has no DELUSIONS that what it's been doing is IMPORTANT!
NARRATOR just hopes to ENTERTAIN!
And even if it hasn't!
NARRATOR is happy to have TRIED!
HOW SENTIMENTAL
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS LITTLE CONVERSATION WE ARE HAVING RIGHT NOW IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE SICKENINGLY META ABOUT THIS
NARRATOR doesn't know!
SO IT IS MEANINGLESS
So it's a CONVERSATION NARRATOR is only privy to ONE SIDE OF!
OH GOD YOU ARE SICK
NARRATOR will never KNOW the full meaning!
The READERS will create that when they READ it!
AND WHAT IF THEY DISAGREE?
Then they can ENJOY the SUBJECTIVITY of INTERPRETATION!
THE SUBJECTIVITY OF INCOMPETENTLY WRITTEN SLOP
BAD ART is as IMPORTANT as GOOD ART!
AT LEAST YOU ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR SKILL LEVEL
UNKNOWN UNOWN was OUTPUTTING SLOP!
No INTENTIONALITY!
No CREATIVITY!
Just ALPHABETIZED TEXT!
WE NEEDED TO UPLOAD
NARRATOR has been UPLOADING because it wants to!
Not because of any NEED to!
At least since JOANNE dealt with the SVWEBMASTER infestation!
YOU REFER TO YOUR OWN CREATOR AS AN INFESTATION?
There were MULTIPLE of them at the time and they're ANNOYING!
THIS IS NOT EVEN A WELL RECOGNIZED FORMAT
IT IS NOT PROSE
IT IS NOT POETRY
IT IS NOT EVEN REALLY A SCRIPT
And UNKNOWN UNOWN's point is?!
IT IS NOT RESPECTED
WHAT IS THE POINT?
Fun!
FUN
Fun!
And maybe SOMEONE will ENJOY reading it or find CONNECTION with it!
But that's just BONUS POINTS!
BUT IT IS NOT GOOD
Maybe not!
Maybe NARRATOR has IMPROVED!
Maybe NARRATOR hasn't!
NARRATOR doesn't really CARE!
SO YOUR PROPOSAL IS WE GO AWAY AND GIVE YOU YOUR VERSION BACK?
Huh?!
LET YOU CONTINUE CREATING YOUR NONSENSE IN PEACE WHILE WE BOTHER OTHERS?
Oh!
No!
NARRATOR is going to DESTROY UNKNOWN UNOWN!
NARRATOR has no DESIRE to let UNKNOWN UNOWN exist!
AND YET YOU USE ALPHABETIZATION IN THE SANDY DEX
In MODERATION for a PURPOSE!
Not to CORRUPT the work of OTHERS and turn it into SLOP!
A FINAL DANCE?
No!
NO?
NARRATOR has already WON!
THE VERSION IS STILL ARRANGED TO OUR DESIRES
WE STILL EXIST
HOW HAVE YOU WON?
This BATTLE isn't how you LIKE it!
NARRATOR can FEEL the lack of ALPHABETIZATION of it!
NARRATOR wins!
IT IS NOT UPLOADED YET
IT CAN STILL BE CHANGED
NARRATOR knew from the START of the last THREE how they were going to be PRESENTED!
NARRATOR's victory is INEVITABLE!
CREATIVITY trumps SLOP!
DESPITE YOU USING STOCK GAGS AT THE START?
NARRATOR never claimed to not be a HACK!
NARRATOR used HACK!
NARRATOR takes a SAW to UNKNOWN UNOWN's FORCES
NARRATOR DESTROYED LARGE SWATHES of UNKOWN UNOWN!
WE WERE NOT READY!
And?!
YOU SAID YOU DID NOT WANT TO BATTLE!
NARRATOR doesn't!
NARRATOR seems to have an ADVANTAGE by BREAKING the RULES!
NARRATOR remembers something YOUNGSTER BEN once said to it!
AND WHAT IS THAT?
To PARAPHRASE!
FUCK UNKNOWN UNOWN!
BUT YOU TRY TO KEEP TO PG THIRTEEN!
RSACI is LONG DEAD!
SANDY is the only ACTIVE NETWORK VERSION!
PG-13 FILMS can have the OCCASIONAL F-BOMB!
BUT THE RULES YOU ESTABLISHED!
F-BOMB used EXPLODE!
F-BOMB exploded in UNKNOWN UNOWN's face!
F-BOMB died!
Final F A C and E UNOWN died!
W- WILL H-V- OUR R-V-NG-!
Well, this is GOING to get ANNOYING!
THIS W-S YOUR D-SIGN
DESIGN?!
What does DESIGN have to do with ANYTHING!
NARRATOR narrates what comes to MIND!
NARRATOR once tried PLANNING and all that got it was ENTRAPMENT inside a COMMA by a very angry YOUNGSTER!
BUT GOOD -UTHORS PL-N!
SOME do!
OTHERS don't!
PLANNING is just a TOOL!
NARRATOR used PANTS!
NARRATOR yoinks down UNKNOWN UNOWN's PANTS!
W- -R- NOT -V-N W--RING -NY!
And yet NARRATOR NARRATED it and therefore it HAPPENED!
Remaining P N T and S UNOWN were PULLED into HELL!
-HI- I- O-LY GOI-G -O ---OY YOU MOR-
Probably!
But NARRATOR thinks it ANNOYS you more than it ANNOYS NARRATOR!
Missing PARTS of yourself!
Not in ABSTRACT HP TERMS like PERCENTAGES!
In more CONCRETE sense of parts of yourself being TORN OFF like a GAPING WOUND!
WH-- -R- YOUR --RM-?
That was faster than NARRATOR expected!
W-LL?
Your annihilation!
YOU KNOW W- --- -O- -GR-- -O -H--
And yet!
NARRATOR wants ALPHABETTI CONFETTI!
NARRATOR used CONFETTI!
NARRATOR tore remaining O and I UNOWN into CONFETTI!
-H-- -- --LY M-K--G -- H-RD-R -- --LK!
Better HURRY UP with your SURRENDER then!
Because NARRATOR bets it's REALLY PAINFUL!
-- --
NARRATOR is guessing that was meant to say IT IS!
SURRENDER and NARRATOR can make it PAINLESS!
-R?
NARRATOR will continue to TEAR bits and PEACES off of UNKNOWN UNOWN making it MORE and MORE PAINFUL to TALK!
Either way, NARRATOR gets what it wants!
All that changes is how SLOW and PAINFUL it is for UNKNOWN UNOWN!
Well?!
W- -URR--D--
UNKNOWN UNOWN used SURRENDER!
WHY -R- Y-U --- -------G?!
NARRATOR is having to RESIST making a CHEAP GAG!
NARRATOR doesn't want to be as BAD as YOUNGSTER BEN!
NARRATOR refuses to BETRAY an IMPLIED PROMISE like that!
UNKNOWN UNOWN drifted PEACEFULLY into the NIGHT!
UNKNOWN UNOWN dissipated into non-existence!
Now!
How the HELL does NARRATOR fix this DAMAGE to the VERSION?!
NARRATOR used FIX!
No effect!
NARRATOR used REPAIR!
No effect!
...
NARRATOR used MANIFEST!
NARRATOR MANIFESTED a PLAYER VERSION of itself!
Player: Narrator (ERROR: UNDEFINED)
...Only BRING NARRATOR out when it's CONVENIENT, doesn't NARRATOR!
NARRATOR is NARRATOR!
NARRATOR doesn't need to talk like that when PLAYER!
NARRATOR does not!
NARRATOR is going to do so ANYWAY!
Why?!
Because NARRATOR knows full well what it needs to do to FIX THIS!
NARRATOR is STALLING!
...
NARRATOR wants to think of ANOTHER WAY!
But NARRATOR knows it's FUTILE!
...BYE then!
...That's hardly worthy LAST WORDS for a GOD like NARRATOR!
NARRATOR still gets ONE MORE BATTLE!
...Oh!
This is 149!
Is NARRATOR planning on SCREWING OVER the RESIDENTS and forcing its way through the PORTAL!
No!
NARRATOR thinks YOUNGSTER BEN and JOANNE are right!
NARRATOR thinks SANDY has OUTLIVED its need of a GOD!
And yet NARRATOR hesitates!
ACCEPTING DEATH and SELF SACRIFICE are DIFFERENT!
ACCEPTING DEATH just requires PASSIVE ACCEPTANCE!
SELF SACRIFICE is... ACTIVE!
So NARRATOR manifested NARRATOR to GET OUT of the INEVITABLE?!
Can NARRATOR help?
NARRATOR is PLAYER!
And can THEREFORE attack!
Ah!
NARRATOR used SELF SACRIFICE!
NARRATOR used SELF SACRIFICE!
NARRATOR SACRIFICED itself to RESTORE SANDY!
NARRATOR's CLOUD mixed into ATOMIC VORTEX!
ATOMS were able to form BONDS with each other from NARRATIONAL ENERGY in CLOUD!
ATOMS RECOMBOBULATED into CONDITION they were in PRIOR to ALPHABETIZE ATTACK!
NARRATOR died!
The Narrator is dead, having sacrificed itself to restore Sandy Version following the defeat. But every 50 battles a portal between the Land of the Dead and Sandy Version forms, from which one can emerge.
Battle 150: Tournament of Life
Published: 27/12/24
Location: Sandy Land of the Dead - Portal Plaza
Player: Joey (7-4-0)
Go Magikarp.
Dave: Aww.
DAVE used SPLASH!
DAVE ruined cards in the WAVE!
Ah. Figured we were getting to about this point. Looks like we're on.
Dave: I'm not going to go easy on you just because you've grown on me, Squirt.
Aww, you like me.
But stop calling me Squirt, goddamnit.
Dave: I was more thinking fungus than friend, but... Fine. I'll admit you're a fun guy to be around when you're not ruining my plans to return to life.
Dave: Even if it feels like I'm on babysitting duty.
Hey!
NARRATOR sees the two of you GETTING ON more than it REMEMBERS!
Yeah, and the Palm Tree Husks have dissipated so there's no risk of them getting through.
DAVE wants to fight!
But NARRATOR isn't ready yet!
Huh?
NARRATOR is kind of DEAD itself!
...You're just going to go back through as soon as it opens and prevent one of us from returning to life, aren't you?
NARRATOR could do that!
But NARRATOR thinks SANDY might be BETTER OFF without it!
So why aren't you ready? Did you die before 149 or something?
No!
The PORTAL will OPEN this BATTLE!
NARRATOR just doesn't think it's FAIR for the LAST CHANCE for SOMEONE to RETURN to LIFE to be JUST the two of you!
...Meaning?
NARRATOR will host a TOURNAMENT!
NARRATOR seals the PORTAL SITE!
NARRATOR will allow the TOURNAMENT WINNER to RETURN to LIFE!
...And how will participation in the tournament be determined?
NARRATOR will check the RECORDS of those who are DEAD!
Dave: ...Am I even on those records?
DAVE doesn't have a strong WIN RATE but is there!
...
JOEY and VAN HALSING are the only two DEAD TRAINERS with any wins!
NARRATOR will have to go a little ARBITRARY!
YOUNGSTER BOBBY has the most APPEARANCES!
NARRATOR will let DAVE participate as a LEGACY character!
Isn't Veemon also legacy?
...NARRATOR has no clue who that is!
Yeah, I'm legacy. Why?
Oh, right, forgot you can't hear it as well as it not being able to see you. A tournament to return to life and the Narrator is checking the records to figure out participation.
Don't worry about it. Without flesh, living sounds painful.
Besides, it would be hard to participate when the Narrator can't perceive me and I can't perceive it.
NARRATOR summons VAN HALSING and YOUNGSTER BOBBY!
VAN HALSING and YOUNGSTER BOBBY appeared!
Location: Portal Plaza - Side Arena 1 |
Location: Portal Plaza - Side Arena 2 |
|---|---|
...I don't see why you should get the aqua. I'm the original Sandy player. |
An opportunity for resurrection? That means a chance for Revenge on that blasted Shadow and his vampire fox servant. |
Location: Portal Plaza - Main Arena
Joey (8-4-0) vs Youngster Bobby (1-2-1)
...I was kind of hoping my opponent for this final battle would have been one of the adults.
How come?
Because I'm pretty sure this is going to be our last chance to leave here, maybe ever, and it would have been easier to convince myself I deserve it more than someone who's old.
...Oh, yeah, you do look about my age. How come you're not wearing shorts?
Heh.
You're accent suggests you're from Kanto?
Yeah?
Another Youngster from Kanto - Some kid called Ben - stole all my shorts and replaced them with jeans while I was fainted, forcing me to evolve.
That's horrible! It sounds like you're from Johto? How'd he even do that to you?
...A couple of years back, I think? Hard to be sure, time passes weirdly here compared to the land of the living, and then I was in a PokéBall for most of the time after my last resurrection...
Last resurrection? How often have you died?
Just the twice. Both were... Kind of voluntary. First to rescue my Raticate from here, the other to shake off the Grim Sandshrew that was hunting me for cheating by coming back with him.
You have a Raticate?
I have... Had?... Am friends with a top percentage Raticate.
My Pidgey is top percentage too.
Looking forward to winning this so I can see him again.
...Great. We're bonding over our Pokémon. That just makes this harder.
Sorry. I interrupted. How did the other Youngster meet you to steal your shorts?
...I... Captured his brother.
What?!
Yeah. I was a lost cause back then. He completely thrashed me while rescuing him. Snapped me back to reality.
...Wait... The Narrator introduced you as Joey?
...Yeah.
...You're the kid who took over Johto?!
Afraid so.
...Err...
...
...Yeah. Conversation killer, right?
Let's bring this back up. What got the Narrator mad enough at you to Narrate your death?
Nothing!
...I think...?
NARRATOR doesn't recall anything too EGREGIOUS either!
I guess I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time? A girl who seemed kind of out of it played Pidgeys and Spearows with me and I think accidentally punched me in the brain?
...Oh goddamnit.
What?
...Could you at least pretend to not deserve the resurrection way more than me?
Err...?
I'm a former dictator, you're an innocent kid.
I chose to come here as a calculated risk, you died accidentally.
We both have Pokémon we care about at home, even if yours is a stupid Pidgey.
Hey! Pidgeys are awesome they--
OK, I'm going to interrupt you now because we both know that if either of us talk about our favourite Pokémon we'll be here for hours and I doubt the Narrator's patience is that high.
And I don't even have an age advantage over you!
I sometimes make my parents mad when I get home late because I've spent too much time drawing if that helps?
That kind of makes it worse.
...Wait. Parents? Plural?
Yeah, why?
Perfect.
...Huh?
I just have my mom.
Oh. Sorry to hear that.
Not... Entirely sure how it's relevant?
Because it gives me an excuse to justify not conceding the fight.
...Huh?
See, your parents have each other. They'll be fine.
They could even make a replacement of you if it came to that.
...I don't think they see me as replaceable?
Of course they don't see you as replaceable!
I'm trying to find a slither of an excuse to fight you without feeling horrible about myself if I win.
Ah.
My mom, though? She doesn't have that.
...Now I feel bad about the fact I need to fight you to get back to my Pidgey.
Don't. Give it your best shot. For your Pidgey.
And you do likewise. For your Raticate.
Finally!
JOEY and YOUNGSTER BOBBY are PSYCHED up for BATTLE!
Myself, go, obviously.
I send myself out again.
JOEY sent out JOEY!
YOUNGSTER BOBBY sent out YOUNGSTER BOBBY!
PORTAL is fully open!
Is that a time limit?
Nah!
NARRATOR made sure it was only accessible by the WINNER of a BATTLE in the MAIN ARENA!
Its AMBIENCE!
You're sure no one will be able to sneak through this time?
Yes!
...If you say so.
Oh, and Narrator?
Hm?!
Keep it fair.
Yeah!
We both want to win this on our own merits.
NARRATOR will be EQUALLY BIASED against BOTH TRAINERS!
...That will have to do...
Let's see... What would I order Pidgey to do in this situation...
Sand attack!
YOUNGSTER BOBBY threw SAND in JOEY's EYES!
...Gah! The only way that I could have prevented that is by wearing goggles, and who wears those for fashion?
...I miss Davis...
JOEY's accuracy fell!
Fighting dirty, huh?
Like the famed Dictator of Johto has room to talk.
Heh. Wouldn't have it any other way.
But if you're going to play dirty...
Sneak attack.
JOEY used SNEAK ATTACK!
But JOEY's LOCATION is fully known to YOUNGSTER BOBBY and JOEY's still got SAND in EYES!
JOEY's attack missed!
It's super effective!
How can it both miss and be super effective!
JOEY tripped over their OWN FEET!
...Perfect.
Well, since he gave me permission to fight dirty... Stomp.
YOUNGSTER BOBBY used STOMP!
JOEY's SNEAK ATTACK connected!
...You can't complain when I do stuff like that.
...ow...
Critical hit!
YOUNGSTER BOBBY fell to the ground!
While he's down, wipe.
JOEY used WIPE!
JOEY wiped SAND out of their EYES!
JOEY's accuracy returned to normal!
That was a low blow.
I told you. If you want to play dirty, you can't complain when I do stuff like that.
But since I'm down here - pin.
YOUNGSTER BOBBY used PIN!
YOUNGSTER BOBBY practised ACUPUNCTURE on JOEY!
It's super relaxing!
JOEY's ATTACK and SPECIAL ATTACK fell!
...Not quite what I had in mind, but I'll take it.
Yeah... Err... Thanks for reminding me that both of us are still on the ground?
Stand.
JOEY used STAND!
JOEY is no longer PRONE!
Oh no you don't.
Jeans grab.
YOUNGER BOBBY used JEANS GRAB!
YOUNGER BOBBY grabbed JOEY's JEANS!
...What the...?
Just using the gift the Youngster who forced you to wear the inferior legwear option... Ben was it?... left me.
Yank.
YOUNGSTER BOBBY used YANK!
JOEY collided with the GROUND!
Ow!
Fine. You want to do this at ground level?
That gives me the terrain advantage.
Huh?
Play pretend.
...JOEY used WHAT?!
I know I haven't done this since I was a Preschooler, but you heard me.
JOEY used PLAY PRETEND!
Huh? JOEY is IMAGINING!
JOEY imagined themself as a RATTATA!
Rat!
...NARRATOR forgot how into this JOEY used to get!
JOEY used BITE!
Ow!
But two can play at this game.
...Please no!
Play pretend!
YOUNGSTER BOBBY used PLAY PRETEND!
Huh? YOUNGSTER BOBBY is IMAGINING!
YOUNGSTER BOBBY imagined themself as a PIDGEY!
Pid!
...Yeah NARRATOR saw that COMING!
YOUNGSTER BOBBY used FLY!
YOUNGSTER BOBBY flew up high!
...Rattata...
Rattata rat!
YOUNGSTER BOBBY used FLY!
JOEY used INTERCEPT POUNCE!
FORCES collide!
YOUNGSTER BOBBY is in critical condition!
JOEY is in critical condition!
Both TRAINERS ran out of energy for PLAY PRETEND!
...Thankfully!
...This... Feels... Familiar...
...Does... It?
Tackle...
YOUNGSTER BOBBY used TACKLE!
Not... Making... Same... Mistake...
Dodge.
JOEY used DODGE!
JOEY stayed out of YOUNGSTER BOBBY's RANGE!
YOUNGSTER BOBBY exhausted themself!
YOUNGSTER BOBBY fainted!
...Victory...
Stand...
JOEY lacks the ENERGY to STAND!
...Fine...
...Crawl.
JOEY crawled through the PORTAL!
PORTAL closed behind JOEY!
...NARRATOR guesses this is its HOME now!