When we last saw Grant and Pikachu, they'd barely survived foraging a coconut from a Palm Tree. They've since been trying to find other sources of food on Mystery Isle, a process that has led them to its central mountain.
Battle 91: Dire Door
Published: 04/11/23
Location: Mystery Isle (Mountain)
Player: Rocket Grant (2-3-3)
Any sign of a source of those trickles?
Pikachu: Chuuu...
Dang. We have to figure something more stable out for water than what we've been using.
GRANT and PIKACHU are SURVIVING in the WILDERNESS!
Surviving is a bit strong.
While the fresh air is nice, at least I got regular food deliveries inside the Wailord.
Pikachu: Pi ka pika chu!
What? I'm just saying, food supplies were regularly delivered where I used to be subsisting. Once we get some stability going here this will be better, but so far it's been a struggle.
...And dead water types are more appetizing than level 1 bug types I have to kill myself...
PIKACHU would rather eat LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE itself!
NARRATOR would GESTURE generally in the DIRECTION of the BEACH with VARIOUS COCONUTS if it were CORPOREAL!
No! No... We'll stick with the disturbingly cute grubs for our grub over fighting another Palm Tree.
PIKACU rubs its belly in EXAGERATED ANTICIPATION of DEVOURING another CATERPIE!
OMINOUS HUMMING appeared!
...Please tell me that isn't related to the Weedle we ate two days ago...
PIKACHU thinks GRANT should INVESTIGATE!
Grant thinks we should run the other way.
OTHER WAY has a COUPLE of PALM TREES waiting to FEED GRANT!
By which you mean feed on my corpse after they kill me.
Pretty much!
Investigate the ominous humming it is.
METAL DOOR appeared!
METAL DOOR is the source of the HUM!
Shame it's not the sauce of it. Make for more interesting flavours than bug types offer.
NARRATOR writes that one DOWN!
...Good lord my situation must be more dire than I thought if I'm making puns bad enough that the Narrator is using them for ideas.
PIKACHU is SATISFIED with the INVESTIGATION into the OMINOUS HUMMING and thinks NOT OPENING THE DOOR is the IDEAL COURSE OF ACTION!
...Maybe, but... I don't want whatever's in there to come out and get us while we're sleeping...
PIKACHU hates that GRANT introduced it to that POSSIBILITY!
Yeah, well... A creepy metal door with ominous humming on an island otherwise occupied only by low level bug types and Palm Trees.
I don't want to know what sort of horror movie we'll wind up in if we don't keep an eye on that thing.
...At the same time, the thought of actually investigating it is absolutely terrifying...
PIKACHU used SPOT!
PIKACHU thinks it's figured out where the TRICKLES are coming from!
Oh?
CAVE appeared!
...Oh... Yeah, the trickle does seem to be coming out of that cave...
...And... The cave does seem like it's... Defensible... If we do watch shifts during the night. In case anything comes out of the door...
We probably should check it out. You don't happen to know Flash, do you?
PIKACHU does not!
...Perfect...
Location: Mysterious Isle: Mountain Cave (Interior)
Oh. Not as dark in here as I was expecting.
Not all CAVES are as DARK as ROCK TUNNEL!
...The lack of Zubat having randomly attacked us by now is... Unsettling... Though.
PIKACHU isn't used to ANYONE actively WANTING to encounter a ZUBAT!
Well it's not like I want to encounter one, it's just...
...What if there's something worse in here that drove the ludicrously high Zubat encounter rate down?
FIERCE ROAR appeared!
...Like whatever that is.
BEWEAR appeared!
...That's a very large pink bear...
BEWEAR hasn't been able to get a GOOD MEAL since WASHING UP on this ISLAND!
BEWEAR is STRUGGLING to get its REQUIRED MACRONUTRIENTS from EDDIBLE MOSS and LOW LEVEL BUG TYPES!
...I'm not sure I like where this is going...
BEWEAR hopes a HUMAN and a PIKACHU will HELP the PROCESS!
Yeah. Definitely don't like where this is going.
BEWEAR wants to fight!
Of course it does.
GRANT sent out GRANT!
PIKACHU sent out PIKACHU!
BEWEAR sent out BEWEAR!
BEWEAR used BEWARE!
BEWEAR gave CRYPTIC WARNINGS about the ISLAND!
...Yeah, yeah. We heard it from the Palm Tree that was trying to kill us when we first arrived here.
Honestly, aside the lack of consistent food sources we haven't had many issues.
Double kick.
GRANT used DOUBLE KICK!
PIKACHU used IRON TAIL!
GRANT and PIKACHU doubled up to kick BEWEAR's TAIL with IRON!
...NARRATOR isn't exactly sure where GRANT and PIKACHU got those SWORDS!
NARRATOR also isn't sure if BEWEAR even HAS a TAIL to KICK!
BEWEAR's need of FOOD means it's rather a moot point!
...Of two swords!
Now STICKING out of BEWEAR's BUTT!
...Not the most DIGNIFIED way to go, but...
BEWEAR died!
Huh. That was easy. And we got a couple of swords out of it, too.
SWORDS disappeared!
Aww.
Still. This Bewear corpse should last us a few days, I think it indicated that the moss over on that wall is edible, and there's a small pool of water in here, which seems to be coming from some sort of underground source.
...We probably should set up some sort of filtration system at some point...
Plus it being a cave makes it a permanent shelter.
And with only one entrance, we should be able to keep watch in case something behind that door comes to get us pretty easy.
...And I think we can keep an eye on the ominous door from here pretty easily...
Pikachu, great job finding this cave. It should make for an excellent camp.
MOUNTAIN CAVE was renamed CAMP CAVE!
Shadow, Tails, and Beth are finishing off a long day of house hunting, and Beth's getting hungry. But be wary of hunting houses in PokéBattles...
Battle 92: The Hunted House
Published: 11/11/23
Location: Violet City Outskirts
Player: Dad Shadow (4-3-3)
...This is the last of the houses we have bookings to view today...
Tails: The last one had a room I can use as a lab...
Yeah, and a great garden for Beth to play in...
Beth: i'm hungry
This will just take 30 minutes or so, we'll go get ice cream after.
Beth: that sounds nice
Tails: I have some mints, here.
Beth: thanks
INTIMIDATING HOUSE appeared!
...Narrator, aren't we a couple of weeks late for a house that looks like it's out of a horror film?
Tails: ...I'm sure it'll be fine...
INTIMIDATING HOUSE used SCARY FACE!
Beth: the windows look like eyes and the door looks like it has fangs
SHADOW's, BETH's and TAILS' speed sharply fell!
...
Tails: ...So... How about we just... Skip this one?
...Yeah, we've got a very good option, and Beth's getting hungry....
INTIMIDATING HOUSE used TRANSFORM
...Really?
INTIMIDATING HOUSE grew LEGS and ARMS
BETH isn't the only one who HUNGERS!
...Great...
INTIMIDATING HOUSE was renamed WEREHOUSE!
Please tell me you mean warehouse...
No!
WEREHOUSE wants to fight!
Tails, do you have any silver?
Tails: All my rings are gold, sorry.
Thought not.
WEREHOUE sent out WEREHOUSE!
BETH sent out STARYU!
TAILS sent out TAILS!
Bloodeon, go.
SHADOW sent out BLOODEON!
Send out Elgyem.
TAILS used ANALYSE!
Tails' Homemade Pokédex: Werehouse. The evolved form of the Dread Gazeebo. This Dark/Building type Pokémon can hide in the form of spooky houses, and turn people it eats into its offspring.
...Cancel that. Psychic's weak against dark.
BLOODEON sent out ELGYEM!
BLOODEON recalled ELGYEM!
STARYU used BRINE!
WEREHOUSE was blasted by SALT WATER!
WEREHOUE used SHAKE OFF!
WEREHOUSE dried by SHAKING!
SHADOW, TAILS, BETH, BLOODEON, and STARYU were hit by the SPLASH!
EVERYONE is super soggy!
...Do any of us have access to literally any fighting, bug or fairy moves?
Tails: I don't.
...Great...
Beth: i never got around to teaching staryu dazzling gleam
Well, we'll have to be sure to get around to that when we get out of here.
TAILS used FLY!
TAILS flew up high!
WEREHOUSE used OBLIGATE PREDATOR!
WEREHOUSE pounced at FAST MOVING TARGET!
WEREHOUSE's attack missed!
That looked... Terrifyingly close.
Bloodeon, double team. Even three on one I don't stand our chances against something that large without type advantage. I'm afraid you're going to have to play bait while we get Beth out of here.
BLOODEON used DOUBLE TEAM!
BLOODEON's evasion greatly rose!
Beth, have Staryu get you out of here while Tails and Bloodeon are distracting it.
STARYU used SWIFT!
STARYU swiftly carried BETH off!
BETH ran away!
WEREHOUSE used BLOOD CLAW!
WEREHOUE hit the wrong BLOODEON!
Wrong as in an illusion, or wrong as in this has gone badly for us?
WRONG as in ILLUSION!
Tails, keep going rather than swinging back for an attack!
TAILS used FLY!
TAILS kept going!
TAILS ran away!
Just us, Bloodeon.
Run circles around it.
BLOODEON ran in CIRCLES!
WEREHOUSE became DIZZY!
Doesn't look egg shaped to me.
NARRATOR will do the OBSCURE VIDEO GAME REFERENCES thankyou very much!
WEREHOUSE used FURY SWIPE!
WEREHOUE's is DIZZY!
WEREHOUE's attack missed!
That should slow it enough that its obligate predator shouldn't trigger. Return.
SHADOW recalled BLOODEON!
And a hasty retreat for me.
SHADOW attempted to flee!
What do you mean I attempted to flee?
WEREHOUSE used OBLIGATE PREDATOR!
WEREHOUSE is DIZZY!
WEREHOUSE's attack kept going and crashed...
...Into PALM TREE!
PALM TREE wants to fight!
I'm going to leave those two to it. Another attempt to run.
SHADOW ran away!
While Shadow, Tails and Beth were househunting for a new home now they've moved to Johto, Jean wants to find out what the Narrator didn't have time to say when she mentioned Joey being dead while the four escaped Tails' Lab/Necromancy Lair.
Battle 93: Spilt Oatmeal
Published: 18/11/23
Location: Jean's House
Player: Mom Jean (1-2-1)
OK, while those three are house hunting - Spill.
NARRATOR used SPILL!
NARRATOR spilt OATMEAL on FLOOR!
...Of course. Any chance you're going to clean that up rather than leaving it to me?
NARRATOR wasn't planning on doing!
...Right.
When I mentioned Joey being dead while the baying mob was outside of Tails' old place, you said there was something you'd leave until after the crises.
...Oh!
Yeah! NARRATOR did!
And...?
...OATMEAL wants to fight!
...Seriously. Why are you playing for time like this?
...Because NARRATOR thinks this CONVERSATION is going to be AWKWARD!
OATMEAL sent out OATMEAL!
Fine. Cheese and Onion Pie, go.
JEAN sent out C&OPIE!
OATMEAL used OOZE!
OATMEAL oozed over CARPET!
...That's going to be a nightmare to clean up.
Let's not go with your copy attack, that feels like it would only make things worse.
Go for... Cheese... Ease? Ease the oatmeal out of the carpet?
C&OPIE used EASE!
C&OPIE EASED into VICTORY!
...
...
...NARRATOR didn't think this PUN through!
Do you ever?
...NARRATOR sighs!
OATMEAL fainted!
...Does that make it easier or harder to clean?
...Probably EASIER!
JEAN used CLEAN!
JEAN dumped FAINTED OATMEAL on DOORSTEP!
...I wasn't expecting it to be a single mass...
Like a GRIMER but EDDIBLE!
Now. What are you trying to avoid telling me?
...JOEYkindasortacameBACKFROMTHEDEADalmostFIFTYBATTLESago!
...Pardon?
...JOEY kinda sorta came BACK FROM THE DEAD almost FIFTY BATTLES ago!
Define kinda sorta in this context. Are we talking like Beth was made from Maria's corpse or more fundamentally him being back?
...It's 100% JOEY!
...And you didn't tell me, because?
JOEY is hiding in a POKéBALL from a MANIFESTATION of DEATH that's HUNTING JOEY due to JOEY having been SMUGGLED back to LIFE by their RATICATE who they DIED to RESCUE!
NARRATOR didn't want to get JEAN's hopes up?!
...
...
...Right...
Why didn't he visit?
...NARRATOR presumes because JOEY is hiding in a POKéBALL from a MANIFESTATION of DEATH that's HUNTING JOEY due to JOEY having been SMUGGLED back to LIFE by their RATICATE who they DIED to RESCUE!
Kind of makes JOEY talking to ANYONE AWKWARD since they have to RETREAT back to their POKéBALL after SHORT PERIODS!
Also being AROUND them is DANGEROUS and they PROBABLY don't want to ACCIDENTALLY get JEAN killed!
...He's coming home...
Probably!
Maybe!
If they can FIGURE OUT how to DEFEAT the SAND REAPER!
...How powerful are we talking for the Sand Reaper?
...MIGHT be able to KILL NARRATOR!
...Oh.
As NARRATOR said, it didn't want to get JEAN's hopes up!
Moving after your home burns down can take a lot of work, but Tails is nearly done setting up his new lab in the basement of the new place he, Shadow, and Beth have moved into.
Battle 94: The Knightmares of New Neighbours
Published: 25/11/23
Location: Tails' Neo Lab
Player: Dad Tails (0-3-0)
OK... And if I place the final beaker here...
TAILS used PLACE!
BEAKER was PLACED in PERFECT HARMONY with REST of COLLECTION of BEAKERS and ASSORTED GLASS LAB EQUIPMENT!
SHELF used POORLY SCREWED!
It's super effective!
SHELF fainted!
COLLECTION of BEAKERS and ASSORTED GLASS LAB EQUIPMENT used FALL!
Huh? COLLECTION of BEAKERS and ASSORTED GLASS LAB EQUIPMENT is evolving?!
COLLECTION of BEAKERS and ASSORTED GLASS LAB EQUIPMENT evolved into GLASS SHRAPNEL!
...Well at least they were all empty...
I guess...
SHADOW appeared!
Shadow: Is something wrong? I heard a crash from the base--
Shadow: ...Ah.
Lab. It's the lab. Not the basement. It may be located in the basement, but we agreed that I'd get to use the garage to store the Tornado and the basement as a new lab for me that we're calling the Neo Lab because that sounds cooler.
Shadow: ...Right. The new lab.
And since my not having access to my old lab is entirely your fault, you can clean up the broken glass because my good drills were incinerated in the old one meaning I apparently didn't get the screws in deep enough to hold up the shelf.
Shadow: ...
Shadow: ...I... Sure.
SHADOW used TIDY!
...The DRILL was fine!
...Then what caused the shelf to be poorly screwed?
The SCREWS rusted!
...They were in the wall for about 15 minutes.
???: Sorry about that!
...Err...
RUSTY manifested!
Rusty: Hi.
...Gaaaah!
Shadow: ...Your mouth is way too large for comfort when I'm literally next to it.
Rusty: Guess the estate agent didn't mention me?
What even are you?
Rusty: I'm the wall monster that lives in your basement.
Lab! It's my lab! The Neo Lab!
I'm going to go upstairs to... Something.
Cannot escape!
...What.
Rusty: Oh. Yeah. Sorry. Now I'm here you can't leave.
...
Shadow: Let us go right now or I swear I will make you regret it.
Rusty: Let me finish.
Rusty: Us wall monsters have an eminence that prevents leaving while we're here, and we can't leave until we feed.
So you're going to eat one of us, is that it?
Rusty: Oh don't be so dramatic. We feed on knowledge, for the most part.
Well, I can provide you with some of that.
Rusty: It's been so long since I manifested let me see if I recall how this goes...
Rusty: I'm kind of rusty at this.
Rusty: ...At everything, really...
...Are you going to get to the point, or...?
Rusty: Sorry, sorry.
Rusty: Three riddles have I, truth is what I seek.
Rusty: One truth will pass you on. Two may aid you. Three commands me. Fail all three and I feed on you.
...A life or death gameshow. Great.
RUSTY wants to QUIZ!
Rusty: The Army of the Numberless Bird is prophesized to emerge to wage war on Sandy Version from which settlement?
...Err... I'm... What would be a numberless bird? Shadow, any idea?
Shadow: Not a clue. The last world ending event was in Kanto, so... Maybe a city in Johto?
...Well it's something... Oh. Violet City's gym's flying type, right? Maybe bird refers to flying types?
Violet City.
Rusty: Falsehood.
...Are you at least going to tell us the correct answer?
Rusty: The Tower of God is prophecized to fall at the hoards of which Pokémon?
Guess not.
...It's got to be something pretty powerful for that. I'm not even sure what the Tower of God refers to, though...
NARRATOR has never HEARD of such a PROPHECY but feels compelled to get INSURANCE on its TOWER!
Shadow: ...Hoards implies not legendary...
...Maybe another Gosslord outbreak? Gosslord.
Rusty: Falsehood.
RUSTY used LICK!
We haven't gotten them all wrong yet!
RUSTY licked its lips in ANTICIPATION!
...Reassuring...
Rusty: Pokémaths. (Celebi + Arceus) / Nidoqueen.
...Oh. This sort of thing. Celebi's... 251, I think... Err...
Shadow: I think Nidqueen's 31?
...Arceus... Err... Just going to... Reference... Real quick...
...Hope this isn't a closed book exam...
TAILS used CHECK!
TAILS started looking up ARCEUS's NUMBER on their HOMEMADE POKéDEX!
Rusty: Your time is running short. Answer. Quickly.
Gah! Buy me some time!
Shadow: So, funny thing about time... Did you know it's a close relative of space? Real interesting stuff you learn when teleporting through it via chaos control. Sometimes you even wind up going on a detour to a post apocalyptic future with a demon in charge of everything. Thankfully managed to avert that future.
SHADOW used RAMBLE!
It's super boring!
RUSTY fell asleep!
TAILS is too ANXIOUS to be affected!
493! So... It's... Err...
Shadow: (251 + 493) / 31
Oh. Easy. 24. Which translates to...
TAILS used REFERENCE!
RUSTY woke up!
RUSTY used EA--
Arbok!
Rusty: Truth accepted.
Rusty: It's so nice to finally have new neighbours. Looking forward to getting to know the two of you.
So... Are you just limited to this basement?
Rusty: Sadly, yes.
Shadow: Basement, is it? I thought you were insisting on calling it your Neo Lab.
Shut up.
SHADOW used SMIRK!
It's super effective!
Rusty: Anyway, got to be off, sorry for rushing you.
RUSTY unmanifested!
Shadow: ...So, we're banning Beth from the lab, right?
But... I was planning on helping her with her science homework in here.
Shadow: Yeah, I was already dubious of that, but since there's a giant face that sometimes appears in the wall here that will eat you if you don't get trivia questions correct? No way.
Now that they've settled into Violet City, Shadow and Tails have decided Beth should attend the local Pokémon Academy. This means the school's administration needs to figure out what class to place her in.
Battle 95: Dervish's Delightful Discussion
Published: 02/12/23
Location: Earl's Pokémon Academy (Earl's Office)
Player: Beth (1-3-1)
DOOR used KNOCK!
Earl Dervish: Enter will you?
BETH appeared!
Earl Dervish: Wish to study here do you?
my dads think i should start school to help socialize
Earl Dervish: Ooh, la la! Very indeed nice!
Earl Dervish: Older than usual intake are you.
Earl Dervish: Story have you?
i just woke up a few weeks ago
Earl Dervish: Amnesia have you?
it's not amnesia
i didn't exist before that
the narrator was calling me a living corpse until i named myself
Earl Dervish: Ooh, la la! Very indeed interesting!
Earl Dervish: Test you, I will! What do you already know?
Time: One assessment later
Earl Dervish: Ooh, la la! Very indeed nice!
Earl Dervish: Smart student you are!
Earl Dervish: Knowing exactly what Earl would expect of one of your appearance you do!
thanks
Earl Dervish: Social are you?
how do you mean
Earl Dervish: Friends have you?
i like my dads and my adopted aunt
Earl Dervish: ...Friends your age have you?
i liked bobby
Earl Dervish: Ooh, la la! Very indeed nice!
until we played tag and he stopped moving
Earl Dervish: stopped moving did he?
sorry i keep getting that bit wrong
died
the word is died
it was an accident but
i went too hard and too high and my hand got sticky and he died
my dads want me to go here so i'll make friends but
what if they stop moving like bobby did
BETH attempted to flee!
Couldn't escape!
i don't know what to do
Earl Dervish: Unlocked door is if you really want to leave.
Earl Dervish: Vacated chair still empty if you prefer to sit.
Earl Dervish: Standing also valid choice is.
heh
Earl Dervish: Ooh, la la! Smile very indeed nice!
i mean about making friends
i don't want to hurt anyone
but my dads think i should socialize with people other than adult anthropomorphic animals
Earl Dervish: Smart student you are!
Earl Dervish: Learn strength should you!
and before i succeed at that
Earl Dervish: Hobbies have you?
i like telling stories
Earl Dervish: Academy roleplaying club try you?
Earl Dervish: Like group storytelling might you!
Earl Dervish: Friends make you while sat!
Earl Dervish: Zero contact it is!
thanks
Earl Dervish: Socially aware up to appearance seems you!
Earl Dervish: Regular class for apparent age try you?
sounds good i think
Earl Dervish: Plan for start have we!