Despite the amount of roaming kids and the way a lot of people go on unsupervised, long term, journeys in Sandy Version at age 10, schools do exist. We join Lass Maria as she enjoys her lunch.
Battle 76: School Dazed
Date: 08/07/23
Location: Cerulean Elementary Playground
Player: Lass Maria (1-0-0)
SOUNDS of PLAY waft on the WIND!
ARTIFICIAL scent of PALM fills everyone's NOSTRILS!
ARTIFICIAL PALM TREE used SHADE!
ARTIFICIAL PALM TREE provides SHADE from the SUN!
Yes. Thanks. I've been eating my lunch under it for the past fifteen minutes.
LASS MARIA used EAT!
LUNCH was FULLY CONSUMED!
What's the biggest game today?
...GOSSLORDS!
...what.
It appears to be RETHEMED TAG!
Well of course it's rethemed tag. 90% of games that take place here are rethemings of tag. Why that theming?
How is NARRATOR meant to know the WHIMS of PLAYERS?!
You're kind of a god?
OMNIPOTENCE does not imply OMNISCIENCE!
Omnipotent? Then why did you let the Gosslords happen?
NARRATOR was AWAY that week!
Couldn't you have done something before the outbreak to prevent it?
NARRATOR remembers its THERAPY SESSIONS!
NARRATOR needs to FOCUS on its STRENGTHS rather than DEBATE its WEAKNESSES with CHILDREN!
LUNCHBOX wants to fight!
What sort of therapist suggests avoidance as a solution to... Anything? Mine sure isn't.
NARRATOR has CREATIVE LISTENING SKILLS!
...Right...
No matter, Staryu, go.
MARIA sent out STARYU!
LUNCHBOX sent out LUNCHBOX!
Try a swift, get this over quickly.
STARYU used SWIFT!
LUNCHBOX used STOCKPILE!
LUNCHBOX swiftly stockpiled ONE SANDWICH!
...I'd already finished my...
No matter, try a surf.
STARYU used SURF!
FISH and MAGNETS appear!
...Wait, what?
FISH and MAGNETS invite TUNA from SANDWICH to JOIN them on their SURFING HOLIDAY!
NARRATOR thinks that at this point it's less of a HOLIDAY and more of a LIFESTYLE!
TUNA joined them!
TUNA, FISH and MAGNETS ran away!
SANDWICH was renamed SOGGY BREAD!
LUNCHBOX used STOCKPILE!
LUNCHBOX stockpiled CHOCOLATE BISCUIT!
...Again, I already had mine so I'm not sure where it's getting this food from...
Try a water gun?
STARYU used WATER GUN!
SOGGY BREAD became even soggier!
LUNCH BOX used STOCKPILE!
LUNCH BOX stockpiled CRISPS!
LUNCH BOX used SWALLOW!
LUNCH BOX consumed SOGGY BREAD, CRISPS and CHOCOLATE BISCUIT!
Again. Really not sure where it's getting this food from...
YOUNGSTER CARLOS appeared!
Hey.
YOUNGSTER CARLOS sits down to EAT LUNCH!
YOUNGSTER CARLOS can't find their TUNA SANDWICH, CRISPS or CHOCOLATE BISCUIT!
...
...
...I'm going to be... Elsewhere...
LASS MARIA recalled STARYU!
LASS MARIA ran away!
LUNCH BOX used STOCKPILE!
LUNCH BOX continued to steal UNEATEN FOOD in VICINITY!
The last time we saw Shadow, he successfully evolved his Eevee into a dark type. Just not the dark type he was expecting. He wants at least one more dark type before he rebrands Just Dune It as a Dark Type gym, however.
Battle 77: Alien Shadows
Published: 15/07/23
Location: Route 7 (Night)
Player: Shadow (1-2-1)
And you're sure wearing one of my oversized rings as a golden anklet will let me encounter Houndour and/or Murkrow here?
Yes!
Wonderful.
...Now I just need to find some long grass. There's a lot less of it since the Gosslord passed through.
NARRATOR keeps accidentally importing RED WEED instead!
Be sure to let me know if you need me to sneeze on any Martians.
NARRATOR clears it as soon as it's planted!
Still. Just say. Wouldn't be the first time I fought off an alien invasion.
...And/or helped one.
My memories of that are hazy.
To the point SHADOW doesn't recall if they HELPED or FOUGHT an ALIEN INVASION?!
Very hazy.
This route is ridiculously small, the only place I can't see that might have some long grass is behind that tree...
SHADOW used CHECK!
SHADOW checked behind TREE!
...Narrator why are there four patches of red weed behind this tree?
...NARRATOR must have missed a patch!
...Does it still work like tall grass?
SHADOW can get RANDOM ENCOUNTERS from it if that's what they mean!
...Well, let's see if we get anything useful.
SHADOW used WALK!
Wild ELGYEM appeared!
...Well that just figures. At least it's a psychic type so it should be a rollover for Bloodeon.
SHADOW sent out BLOODEON!
ELGYEM used PSYCHIC!
ELGYEM put on LAB COAT and SANDALS!
How on earth does that fashion disaster relate to Psychic?
GEN 1 PSY CHIC!
Ah. You're in one of your moods. Right.
NARRATOR's moods?!
Yeah. One of the days you just go for the most tortured puns imaginable.
Allure.
BLOODEON used ALLURE!
BLOODEON attracted ALUMINIUM!
...Yeah. Definitely one of your moods.
ALUMINIUM appeared!
ELGYEM became attracted to the SHINY METAL!
ALUMINIUM is caught in a LOVE TRIANGLE!
...Wait... Who caught it?
ALUMINIUM doesn't know yet!
ALUMINIUM needs a FEATURE LENGTH FILM or a NOVEL to DECIDE if it should be with BLOODEON or ELGYEM despite it being OBVIOUS to the AUDIENCE!
...So... Either Elgyem or Bloodeon caught a sheet of aluminium foil and we won't know for at least 90 minutes?
...Some AUDIENCE MEMBERS may not be as CLUED IN as others!
...Uh-huh.
ELGYEM used PSYBEAM!
ELGYEM sighed in LOVE before BEAMING a ROMANTIC SMILE at ALUMINIUM from across the BATTLEFIELD!
...Oh gods you're committing to the bit...
Bloodeon, while it's distracted, go for the jugular with a bite.
...Assuming this species of alien even has a jugular...
BLOODEON used BITE!
BLOODEON sank its fangs into ELGYEM's NECK!
It's super effective!
Not fainted, though...
ALUMINIUM is leaning towards ELGYEM!
ELGYEM used SAVE YOURSELF!
ELGYEM wasted turn on DRAMATIC SPEECH!
ALUMINIUM ran away!
Follow up the bite with a dark pulse, I guess.
BLOODEON finds ELGYEM's blood too TASTY to let go of the bite!
Huh?
BLOODEON used BLOOD DRAIN instead!
...Err...
BLOODEON feasts on ELGYEM's BLOOD!
ELGYEM is looking SICKLY!
OK, I think that's enough, Bloodeon.
BLOODEON used CONVERSION!
...Great so now my dark type is a psy--
ELGYEM was CONVERTED into BLOODEON's THRALL!
BLOODEON caught ELGYEM!
...Ah.
BLOODEON withdrew ELGYEM!
BLOODEON used NUZZLE!
BLOODEON nuzzled up against SHADOW's leg!
BLOODEON used PURR!
BLOODEON purred happily!
Great job there, bud, but let's get you back in your ball so we can get you all your PP back at a Pokémon center.
SHADOW withdrew BLOODEON!
...I think I may have made a horrible mistake somewhere...
Location: Border of the Forest of Hope
Ben was staring in equal parts fear and amazement at the first tree he'd seen since escaping from the dome where the Narrator existed. Fear, because it was a tree. Amazement, because he'd never seen a tree that looked like this before. "Wh-What is it?"
The emotionless man in a blue shirt - He'd since learnt his name was Spock - replied simply, non-judgementally. "I believe it is a tree. Specifically an oak."
"There are types of trees other than palm trees?" He felt a bit silly as soon as the question left his lips. Obviously, there were trees other than Palm Trees. He was looking at one.
"Many varieties, yes. It is fascinating that an area as large as that covered by the entity known as the Narrator would only have one variety, but it is not exactly surprising that someone who's only lived their life within its influence would be surprised by their first encounter with a different sort of tree."
"Are they as..." He searched for the right word, "Aggressive? as Palm Trees are?"
"I believe that the aggression of the palm trees you are familiar with is a direct result of the Narrator's influence. The trees on most planets do not, as the Narrator would put it, 'want to fight.'"
Ben's eyes narrowed. "Figures it would be responsible for that."
The other two men Ben was accompanying returned from their brief scout ahead into the forest in front. "There's... Wildlife. Are you... Sure... You don't want... A spare phaser... In case any of it... Attacks?"
"Rat." The large rodent by Ben's side responded on his behalf.
"Yeah, I'll be fine with Raticate here. Plus I also have an Arbok, a Butterfree, and a Door with me." He gestured towards his Pokéballs. "I'll be fine."
Location: Route 8
Player: None
ALUMINIUM felt LOSS of ELGYEM!
Huh? ALUMINIUM is evolving!
ALUMINIUM evolved into VAN HALSING!
VAN HALSING set out on a QUEST to DESTROY BLOODEON!
When last we saw Grant, he was being punished for his failure in acquiring the Tilde by being dumped into the ocean while wearing concrete boots. He narrowly escaped death by drowning by way of being eaten by a Wailord, but what's he been up to since then?
Battle 78: A Wailord of a Time
Published: 22/07/23
Location: Inside a Wailord
Player: Rocket Grant (2-1-3)
OK, what's on the menu today?
WAILORD used EAT!
5 MAGIKARP, 2 ARROKUDA and a SURPRISED PIKACHU appeared!
...Seafood again, huh. Go figure.
Wait, Arrokuda?! Where even are we?!
A long way from KANTO!
PIKACHU wants to know what's going on!
MAGIKARP and ARROKUDA need WATER badly!
WAILORD used DIGEST!
Oh, cripes, better grab my share fast!
GRANT used PLUCK!
GRANT grabbed 1 ARROKUDA!
ACID used RISE!
2 ARROKUDA died!
5 MAGIKARP died!
PIKACHU used AGILITY!
PIKACHU LEPT on top of GRANT's HEAD!
PIKCAHU gave a TEXTBOOK LANDING!
PIKCACHU scored a PERFECT 10!
1 ARROKUDA dissolved!
5 MAGIKARP dissolved!
ACID fully receded!
Only good thing about that acid is it freed me of my concrete boots.
...Shame it took my regular footwear with it...
Anyway, time to dine. You want some?
PIKACHU prefers APPLES!
That seems unlikely given where we are right now.
GRANT used EAT!
GRANT ate RAW ARROKUDA!
It's super unappetizing!
Yeah, but it makes a change from the Magikarp I usually manage to get.
PIKACHU wonders how long GRANT has been LIVING like this!
...I lost track after a couple of weeks. Can't even mark the days on the walls - not that there's much of a way of figuring out day from night in here - the regular acid flows wash it off.
The period where the Narrator vanished on me was the worst of it. Not even it to talk to during that time...
Glad I figured out how to move during that period quicker than Wailord figured out how to eat, or I'd have been done for...
PIKACHU wants out!
PIKACHU doesn't want to LIVE like GRANT!
Well, you just have to let the acid baths take you to avoid living like me, but I haven't worked out an actual way out of here yet.
PIKACHU refuses to give up!
I was like you, once.
Now I just... Well... It's not really living, but at least it's surviving.
PIKACHU wants to SNAP GRANT out of it!
PIKACHU wants to remind GRANT that there's more to LIFE than a WAILORD STOMACH!
PIKACHU wants to REIGNITE GRANT's HOPE!
In other words, PIKACHU wants to fight!
Oh. Pokémon Battles. I remember those.
Smoothbat, go.
...Err...
...Narrator?
...Well it hasn't really COME UP until now, but...
..TEAM ROCKET stripped GRANT of their POKéMON before trying to KILL them by dumping them in the OCEAN!
...
GRANT just hasn't tried SENDING OUT their SMOOTHBAT until now!
...
And NARRATOR didn't want GRANT to feel WORSE about their SITUATION!
Or PANIC more when they were UNDERWATER before they GOT INTO this SITUATION!
...Go me, I guess...
GRANT sent out GRANT!
...Out of curiosity, do I have any Pokéballs on me?
No!
OK. Double kick.
PIKACHU used THUNDERSHOCK!
PIKACHU's attack hit!
Ow.
GRANT's lack of FOOTWEAR is SUPER CONDUCTIVE!
WAILORD STOMACH is SUPER CONDUCTIVE!
WAILORD took DAMAGE from the SHOCK!
GRANT used DOUBLE KICK!
GRANT kicks it up to DOUBLE DAMAGE!
Err... OK, maybe try something simpler, I'll just try booting it?
PIKACHU used Electro Ball
PIKACHU fired BALL of ELECTRO at GRANT
GRANT used BOOT!
GRANT booted BALL into BACK of the NET!
But GRANT lacks BOOTS!
GRANT's foot took DAMAGE from the impact!
...Seriously?!
An excellent CROSS converted into a TEXTBOOK GOAL!
NET was renamed WAILORD's THROAT!
It's super effective!
...Wait...
Narrator, are you helping us escape?
NARRATOR thinks GRANT's SITUATION is a bit of a DOWNER!
NARRATOR wants GRANT to have enough MORALE for GRANT's SUFFERING to be FUNNY again!
You put me in this situation!
NARRATOR wasn't expecting it to become a LONG TERM LIVING ARRANGEMENT when it INTERPRETED the WISH ATTACK like this!
NARRATOR also notes that there was a REFERENCE it could have MADE for the attack to fail!
Would GRANT prefer to RETCON result of that BATTLE?!
No, no. Living in the belly of a Wailord is better than death by drowning.
How much more damage do we need to do to get it to cough us up?
One more PAIR of ATTACKs should give enough NARRATIVE JUSTIFICATION for something ALONG those LINES!
I... I'm not sure I like the way you phrased that...
PIKACHU agrees!
Would GRANT and PIKACHU prefer to spend the REST OF THEIR LIVES inside a WAILORD STOMACH?!
Rising uppercut.
Thought not!
GRANT used RISING UPPERCUT!
GRANT ROSE to the OCCASION!
PIKACHU used DOUBLE TEAM!
PIKACHU TEAMED up with GRANT for DOUBLE IMPACT!
WAILORD took more DAMAGE to STOMACH!
WAILORD's BODY decides it ATE something BAD!
WAILORD used VOMIT!
GRANT and PIKACHU were FORCABLY EJECTED from WAILORD!
Mystery Isle has beautiful, sand swept beaches and picturesque Palm Trees lining the shore. It's truly idyllic scenery for postcards. What's that on the horizon? Whatever it is, it seems to be getting closer, and fast.
Battle 79: Sticky Situations
Date: 29/07/23
Location: Mystery Isle (Beach)
Player: Rocket Grant (2-2-3)
WAILORD VOMIT violently appeared!
WAILORD VOMIT contains ROCKET GRANT and PIKACHU!
...Sand. I never knew I'd miss sand until I was stuck inside a Wailord...
...Only reason I'm not kissing it right now is the amount of vomit on it...
NARRATOR is CURIOUS why ROCKET GRANT still thinks of themself that way!
What do you mean?
TEAM ROCKET tried to MURDER GRANT months ago!
But GRANT hasn't EVOLVED or DEVOLVED from ROCKET GRANT into another TRAINER TYPE!
...My name's Grant. We all know the Version operates on nominative determinism and puns. If I'm not a grunt of an evil team, what the hell am I?
PIKACHU used HUG!
It's super sticky!
...Still pretty effective, though...
Guess this is where we part ways, though, huh?
PIKACHU wants to stay with GRANT!
Huh? I thought we had an alliance of convenience, and would part ways as soon as we escaped.
PIKACHU is UNFAMILIAR with MYSTERY ISLE and would rather STICK with an ALLY than GO IT ALONE!
PIKACHU would also FEEL BAD if ENCOURAGING GRANT to ESCAPE WAILORD got GRANT KILLED!
Well, first things first. We should clean up in the ocean, and then figure out what to do about surviving now that we're no longer getting served a seafood platter every day.
GRANT and PIKACHU used BATHE!
GRANT and PIKACHU help CLEAN each other up in OCEAN!
GRANT and PIKACHU's FRIENDSHIP sharply rose!
OK, now... What's the first rule of surviving in the wilderness... Food, water, and shelter? Forget which comes first...
PIKACHU's STOMACHE used RUMBLE!
PIKACHU didn't share GRANT's MEAL inside WAILORD!
PIKACHU needs food, badly!
Food it is. Let's see now...
Wild PALM TREE appeared!
...I'm... Hoping you aren't implying what I think you are...
PALM TREE has DELICIOUS, RIPE, COCONUTS in it!
...
...
...Is there literally any other food sources anywhere near here?
Even if guarded by a legendary Pokémon?
Even if it was the legendary Pokémon itself which we'd need to kill for food?
Discounting GRANT and PIKACHU?!
...Obviously...
Not as far as GRANT is aware!
I'm not asking you what I'm aware of, I'm asking you in your capacity as an omnipresent being who would, logically, know exactly where every possible source of food in the version is.
NARRATOR feels like it's helped GRANT and PIKACHU out ENOUGH!
...We're both going to die, either from starvation or killed by a palm tree while trying to get food...
PIKACHU would suggest GRANT have more CONFIDENCE except that PIKACHU would rather not fight a PALM TREE either!
PALM TREE has NOTICED GRANT and PIKACHU!
PALM TREE wants to fight!
Well, no choice I guess. Me, go.
PIKACHU sent out PIKACHU!
GRANT sent out GRANT!
PALM TREE used FALL!
PALM TREE thinks GRANT and PIKACHU must have FALLEN PRETTY LOW to wind up on MYSTERY ISLE!
HAH! Shows what Palm Tree knows. We're no longer in the belly of a Wailord, we're on the ascent!
PALM TREE thinks GRANT and PIKACHU would have been BETTER OFF living the rest of their LIVES inside a WAILORD than winding up HERE!
...What.
GRANT and PIKACHU's morale sharply fell!
PIKACHU used THUNDERSHOCK!
It's not very effective!
Karate chop?
GRANT used KARATE CHOP!
GRANT hit hand against PALM TREE!
It's super effective!
Awesome!
...Against GRANT!
...Owwwwww...
PALM TREE used DOUBLE SLAP!
PIKACHU used DOUBLE TEAM!
PIKACHU dodged using DUPLICATES!
Hit GRANT five times!
Quintupple ow.
PIKACHU used IRON TAIL!
It's not very effective!
Can I throw a beach pebble to see if I can hit a coconut?
GRANT used PEBBLE TOSS!
Critical hit!
It's super effective!
Rock type moves seem to work, do you know any?
PIKACHU does not!
1 damage!
...Drat its defences...
PALM TREE used DROP!
PALM TREE dropped COCONUT!
Critical hit!
It's super effective!
GRANT fainted!
PIKACHU acquires COCONUT!
PALM TREE is charging an attack!
PIKACHU attempts to DRAG GRANT to SAFETY!
...How does PIKACHU expect that to WORK exactly?!
Pikachu: Pikachu! Pi pikachu pika Pikachu!
PALM TREE is ready to ATTACK!
...
...
...Ah, screw it!
NARRATOR doesn't feel like NARRATING GRANT's death!
NARRATOR will go with... PIKACHU succeeded DRAGGING GRANT to SAFETY via the POWER of FRIENDSHIP!
PIKACHU ran away dragging GRANT behind it!
PALM TREE thinks PIKACHU should have let it put GRANT out of their MISERY!
Solveig is waiting at the Safe House for Joanne's return after the two were separated by the Narrator's confusion. But will the two be able to rescue Red from his Sudoku-locked cell?
Battle 80: Puzzles and Doubts
Published: 05/08/23
Location: Safe House 23: Net Room
Player: Solveig Poulsen (8-0-2)
JOANNE BLOGGS appeared!
Joanne Bloggs: Sorry it took so long for me to catch up, it took a surprisingly long time to dig myself out of a concrete cube with a dragon.
You'll have to fill me in on the details later, but it took about that long to work out what these runes are. These runes aren't any sort of cypher, they're the characters in the English alphabet. Just in an outstandingly annoying font to read.
Joanne Bloggs: How does that help us?
No way of knowing without examining the cube. The net seems to have recovered. Hopefully, it won't decide to fight us this time.
SOLVEIG used CLIMB!
SOLVEIG climbed up high!
JOANNE used CLIMB!
JOANNE climbed up after!
OK, let's see... The symbol on the top of it is an O, the other faces that it's not on are N C T and E. We can spell connect if we press them in the right order, but...
Joanne Bloggs: That's a C? If I had to guess a letter for it I'd have said that's more of a G...
You think that's bad, you should see the M.
OK... Hopefully, this will work, because I'd rather not be sent flying again...
SOLVEIG used SPELL!
SOLVEIG nervously touched the C face!
CHIME appeared!
...I think this is working...
SOLVEIG touched REST of LETTERS in CONNECT!
TWO WAY AUDIO-VISUAL CONNECTION through CUBE appeared!
On the other side of the viewing window, the two women and Narrator saw Red, facing away from them, unenthusiastically spooning a bowl of gruel into his mouth with his hands.
Hey.
Red practically jumped at the voice. The one he'd long begun to think he imagined when he briefly heard it last. He turned around and saw other people - Not his Pokémon - for the first time in months. "People? Thank goodness. There's a really difficult Sudoku. I think I need to solve it to leave here, but... I'm not great at puzzles..."
...NARRATOR can SEE and HEAR something it cannot INFLUENCE!
NARRATOR is DISCOMBOBULATED!
Red was unable to hear the disembodied red text through the audio-visual connection. He realized he recognized Joanne from her helping him escape Team Rocket and Solveig from the battle over the Tilde. "Wait... Did the two of you come to check up on me?"
We've been trying to work out where you were, aside from inside a folded net, since the Gosslord threat ended. Sorry it took so long. I can't quite make out the Sudoku from this angle...
"Oh. Should I describe it to you?"
Maybe try walking over to the wall it's on first, our viewing port of you was perfectly angled to frame you, and when you jumped I think it moved a little to keep you properly in frame. Maybe it will track you?
Red nodded and walked over to the wall with the 18x18 Sudoku on it. The viewing port remained centred on him, revealing the grid to the women on the other side. "Does this work?"
...Perfect. I can see why you'd struggle with that if you're not used to Sudoku. Truthfully I've not been as good at them as I was before having my brain eaten by a Gosslord...
Red looked devastated. The hope of having people to help him escape the room he'd been trapped in for months vanished from his face at Solveig's words.
Joanne Bloggs: Hey now. She never said she wasn't going to try. Just that it might take a little longer than it would have done before the Gosslord outbreak. Right.
JOANNE used POINTED LOOK!
Yeah, I'll still give it a shot, just...
"...Right..." There was no hope in Red's voice. He knew his supposed rescuer had already given up.
SELF DOUBT appeared!
...18x18s are bad enough to scan when they're numbers...
This one is not only type symbols but doesn't explain if the greater than symbols are representing super effective type matchups with the attacker on the greater than side, or not very effective with defensive on the greater than side...
SELF DOUBT is OVERWHELMING!
Joanne Bloggs: You can't just give up on him!
...
...
...But I haven't even been able to solve some of the puzzles I've set recently...
JOANNE used SLAP!
SOLVEIG's face stings!
Joanne Bloggs: Get over yourself.
...
...
...Y... Yeah.
SELF DOUBT laughs in SOLVEIG's face!
...I... I can do this...
SOLVEIG wants to fight!
JOANNE BLOGGS cannot assist further!
SELF DOUBT sent out SELF DOUBT!
I send out--
SOLVEIG must fight this ALONE with NO POKéMON!
All ANYONE ELSE can do is give SOLVEIG the SPIRIT to FIGHT their SELF DOUBT!
...Yeah, that tracks considering I'm literally fighting my own self doubts here...
SOLVEIG was dragged out!
SELF DOUBT used FLASHBACK!
Time: Battle 69
...Why isn't it solving?
Maybe SOLVEIG is just LOSING the BATTLE OF WITS with the SETTER?!
You're thinking of locks. A good lock is designed not to be solved, a good puzzle is designed to be solved and is more of a journey the setter takes you on. All you have to do is keep up.
Maybe SOLVEIG isn't INTELLIGENT enough to KEEP UP WITH the SETTER!
That's the problem. This is the one I set about a week before you disappeared. Got strong feedback. And now... I can't solve it despite having had to solve it multiple times while setting it. I should know every. Damn. Step.
Time: Now
...I... I've solved puzzles since then...
SELF DOUBT doubts SOLVEIG believes that's relevant!
...
SELF DOUBT used REMINDER!
SELF DOUBT reminds SOLVEIG that they mistook a BAD FONT for a CYPHER for about THREE WEEKS before realizing what it was!
I... I still figured it out...
...I don't think Farmer Joe worked out they were regular writing...
And the extra information I got from the diversion might prove... Useful... Maybe...
SELF DOUBT doubts KELP PRICES will be PERTINENT to ANYTHING!
...
SELF DOUBT used COMPARISON!
SELF DOUBT compares SOLVEIG of TODAY to SOLVEIG prior to GOSSLORDS!
SELF DOUBT notes that SOLVEIG used to be FAR more interested in LOGIC than GOSSIP, while now things have REVERSED!
There's... There's no such thing as bad knowledge. Everything can be... Can be useful sometimes.
SELF DOUBT doubts DATING LIVES of CELEBRITIES will ever COME UP in an INVESTIGATION!
...
SELF DOUBT notices that SOLVEIG hasn't attacked yet!
SELF DOUBT wonders if SOLVEIG is just going to ADMIT DEFEAT and GO AWAY!
SELF DOUBT doubts SOLVEIG has any more than a QUICK CROSSWORD in them anymore!
...
SOLVEIG used SMILE!
So my mind doesn't work the way it used to. Everyone changes, doesn't mean I'm going to be worse at what I do, it just means my approaches will have to... Adapt.
SOLVEIG used REBUTTAL!
And maybe the diversion doesn't give any information that will directly help with Red's current predicament. But it does help. Joanne, didn't you say there was a missing scientist from before? Not that the Narrator will let you answer until this battle's over. We'll need to check in on if Matey Mike or the Gambler/Orchard Keeper from the next farm over ever turned up. I have a hunch those disappearances are connected to whatever the underlying cause of this box is. Once we get Red out of the room he's currently in, of course.
SOLVEIG used FUTURE PLAN!
And maybe I'm not as good at Sudoku as I used to be. Or maybe I just got too inside my own head to solve one I should be more than capable of solving on account of setting it myself. Everyone has off days.
SOLVEIG used SELF ACCEPTANCE!
SELF DOUBT is in critical condition!
So it's an 18x18. Those are tricky to scan, especially when they're weird type symbols rather than numbers. But that just makes it take longer, the logic's the same.
And the ambiguity in the rules? We can probably figure out which way it is from what leads to a contradicton. And, hell. It might be a life or death situation - we don't know how much... Food... Red has access to. We can bifurcate that part if we have to.
I can do this.
And even if I can't? I'm sure the ideas that Joanne and Red will provide will kick the neurons into gear and we'll get a solution to Red's problem together.
We. Will. Succeed.
SELF DOUBT fainted!
...Was hoping for something more permanent, but I suppose that never really goes away fully.
Red, we're going to get you out of that room. Given the fact the scientist is neither in that room with you nor turned up back here, I can't guarantee you'll get back to us, but at least... Well, you're likely to wind up wherever the scientist wound up, seeing as they're not in that room with you now.
Red nodded. Hope returned to his eyes as he recognized the sheer determination in Solveig's.
Swordfish, go. The more eyes on this grid the better. And, who knows? Maybe we'll get lucky and there'll be a swordfish in there.
SOLVEIG sent out SWORDFISH
SOLVEIG used SOLVE!
Time: 5 hours later
And, clearly that last cell should be Fire Type, so if you put that in.
Red pressed the remaining cell in the grid and set it to fire. A chime resonated throughout the room that had been his entire world for the past several months, and the Sudoku on the wall began to slide upwards, revealing a door behind it.
Sorry it took so long, both to contact you and to actually solve that puzzle. 18x18s are annoying to scan, no matter the difficulty of them.
I'm afraid I don't think we'll be able to help you wherever that door leads, but it's got to be better than where you are now, right?
Red nodded. "Thanks for the help." He went to the door, opened it, and passed through before the audio-visual connection cut out.
Hope he's ok. And Joanne?
Joanne Bloggs: If it's about the slap, I--
Thanks. I needed it. Now, we have three disappearances to solve if we want to help him further. Let's hope we can find some information in various archives.
Joanne Bloggs: Archive dive?
Sleep first, my eyes are strained.
Joanne Bloggs: I'd suggest using the hammocks in here, but...
FOLDED NET used UNFOLD!
FOLDED NET started UNFOLDING!
...Yeah. We probably don't want to be semi-conscious around the weird hypnotic net that kidnaps people when they fold it...