PokéBattles: Sandy Version

It is the 90s 20s and there is time for Klax PokéBattles

Within Sandy Version, there is an area dedicated to preserving the monsters of old. Not the ancient fossil Pokémon, monsters that predate even those. We join Cecil as he attempts to deal with a poacher camp.

Battle 46: Centaurs and Sentries
Published: 12/11/22
Location: Classical Monster Preserve: Poacher Camp (Exterior)
Player: Centaur Cecil (0-0-0)

Present yourselves! Or be you cowardly foal rather than the mighty stallions you pretend to be!
SENTRY SEAN appeared!
Leave this place. It is not for those such as you.
Sentry Sean: Listen, mate. Decisions like that are way above my pay grade. I'm just here to guard the camp while the folk paying me get some kip.
Your tongue is extremely queer to my ears.
Sentry Sean: Says the half-horse talking like some medieval knight - That doesn't even fit your environment.
Quell your tongue, lest I cut it out myself.
Sentry Sean: Look, mate. If you didn't want me giving banter on the way you talk, maybe shut your trap about how I talk next time?
...Very well. I demand an audience with whoever it is that is able to authorize you to leave. The monsters here are endangered and may not be caught with the exception of those of us who would stop the likes of you from obtaining them.
Sentry Sean: No can do, mate. Firstly, it's 3am and I'm not about to wake my bosses up at this sort of time. And, secondly, even if they were awake, alert, and about to leave on an... Expedition... they'd have my guts for garters for not seeing you off myself.
Then I will have to force the issue.
Finally!
SENTRY SEAN wants to fight!
Wood nymph, go!
SEAN sent out CENT!
CECIL sent out WOOD NYMPH!
CENT used BRIBE!
You think a Wood Nymph shall be turned by the offer of cheap trinkets like a single copper coin?
The terrain looks grassy enough for STAB, despite the best efforts of these interlopers. Nature Power.
WOOD NYMPH used NATURE POWER!
TERRAIN makes that GRASS TYPE!
CECIL was hit with a BACKSTAB for MASSIVE DAMAGE!
I beg your pardon!
WOOD NYMPH had accepted the CENT as a BRIBE!
CENT is fully SPENT!
CENT fainted!
Wood Nymph, return to your chambers, we will talk about this treachery after I am done dealing with these interlopers.
CECIL withdrew WOOD NYMPH!
SEAN sent out CENTURY!
What is this, have you somehow captured the power of time itself?!
Sentry Sean: Do I look like a 10 year old, mate?! Of course I haven't caught Dialga! The Narrator just thought it'd be funny if a Sentry had a Roman Century a couple of gigs back.
Still... A hundred men are an overwhelming force... This calls for desperate measures. Hydra, come out!
CECIL sent out HYDRA!
CENTURY used PHALANX!
CENTURY's defence sharply rose!
Head 1 and 2, rotate your fire. 1 use Hyper Beam, 2 use Solar Beam. Keep cycling those moves so a powerful beam of energy is constantly forcing them to turtle.
HYDRA HEAD 1 used HYPER BEAM!
CENTURY's PHALANX formation is holding!
HYDRA HEAD 2 is absorbing light!
Head 3, try a bite. See if nibbling at the edges of the defensive formation is able to do anything to break their defences.
Sentry Sean: Hang about, mate! Do all seven of that thing's heads count as separate Pokémon or something? How's that meant to be fair?
May I remind you, sir, that you currently have a force of one hundred trained soldiers on the field?
HYDRA HEAD 3 used BITE!
HYDRA HEAD 3 was SEVERED on CENTURY's SHARP CORNERS!
...Narrator, what, pray tell, do you mean by the 'sharp corners'?
...The SWORDY bits!
...The... Swordy bits...
Yes!
HYDRA HEAD 3 fainted!
HYDRA HEAD 3 is fully revived!
HYDRA HEAD 8 is fully revived!
CENTURY's morale greatly fell!
SEAN's morale greatly fell!
That appears to have dampened their spirits. Head 4, try to dampen them some more with a Hydro Pump.
HYDRA HEAD 4 used HYDRO PUMP!
HYDRA HEAD 4's attack missed!
Sentry Sean: ...Hang on a second, mate. Missed?! That's water heading straight towards...
HYDRA HEAD 4's attack kept going and crashed...
SEAN withdrew CENTURY!
SEAN used MOUNT!
SEAN mounted CECIL!
What the devil are you doing, good sir?! How dare you treat me as some domesticated beast! At least without buying me a drink first.
Sentry Sean: Listen, mate, sorry about the imposition and all but if you value either of our lives, recall your Pokémon and run. The bosses have a bunch of experimental rubidium Pokéballs stashed away in camp and they do not like water. At all.
...Into POACHER CAMP!
...Very well, although I do not fully understand why what you're saying requires urgency, the panic in your voice indicates an urgent truth in your words. We shall discuss this indignity you're putting me through later. Hydra, return.
CECIL withdrew HYDRA!
CECIL used GALLOP!
CECIL and SEAN ran away!
Got away safely!
POACHER CAMP used EXPLODE!
POACHER CAMP fainted in SPECTACULAR STYLE!
Looks like POACHER A and POACHER B are blasting off!


Within Sandy Version there exists a floating island, inhabited by an isolated community of anthropomorphic eggs, stuck up there, unable to interact with anything happening on the surface of Sandy Version.

Battle 47: Poached Eggs
Published: 19/11/22
Location: Yolk Isle
Player: Scramble (0-0-0)

SCRAMBLE used FISH!
SCRAMBLE is SKY FISHING!
I'll settle for a Pidgey, just something to break up the monotony of fish for protein.
It's not very effective!
Drat.
TERRIFIED SCREAMING appeared!
That's never good! What direction?
BELOW!
Someone's fallen off the island?!
TERRIFIED SCREAMING is getting CLOSER!
...Huh?!
TERRIFIED SCREAMING was renamed POACHER A and POACHER B!
POACHER A and POACHER B used CRASHLAND!
Are you two ok?
POACHER A and POACHER B fainted!
...Well that answers that question.
I probably should revive them.
SCRAMBLE used MAX REVIVE!
POACHER A and POACHER B were fully revived!
How'd you two get here?
Poacher A: Woke up to our camp exploding.
Poacher B: Do you have any food, we didn't have time to eat breakfast due to being launched into the air.
Well, we've got a lot of wheat which we can make bread with, some vegetables, and I was just trying to catch a flying type but we do have fish, so... Welcome to the community. I'm afraid you're stuck here with us because it's a long way down if you want to leave.
Poacher A: You know, looking at you is giving me a very specific craving.
POACHER B prefers their eggs POACHED!
POACHER A is hungry enough to make do with SCRAMBLED!
POACHER A and B want to fight!
...First new talking faces for years and they want to eat me. Figures.
Exeggcute, Chansey, go.
POACHER A attempted to send out a POKéMON...
POACHER B attempted to send out a POKéMON...
...But POACHER A and POACHER B's POKéBALLS were part of the RUBIDIUM EXPLOSION that launched them here!
POACHER A and POACHER B were dragged out!
OK, Exeggcute, use Hypnosis on Poacher A. Chansey, go with a Sing on Poacher B.
EXEGGCUTE used HYPNOSIS!
POACHER A thinks they're a CHICKEN!
...I guess that's close enough...
POACHER A used EGG SIT!
POACHER A sat on EXEGGCUTE!
...Maybe...
CHANSEY used SING!
POACHER B used POACH!
CHANSEY became SINGED!
OK, Exeggcute, see if you can... Get out from under there. Chansey, try a Soft-boiled.
EXEGGCUTE used STRUGGLE!
But POACHER A is sitting tight!
POACHER A used REST!
POACHER A fell asleep!
CHANSEY used SOFT-BOILED!
POACHER B thought they were going to be having SCRAMBLED EGGS!
Please don't remind me my opponents plan on eating me.
POACHER B is confused!
POACHER B hurt POACHER A in their confusion!
...Isn't it normally themselves?
POACHER A woke up!
POACHER A is hypnotised no longer!
POACHER A wonders why they're sat on a POKéMON!
POACHER A is confused!
POACHER A hurt themselves in their confusion!
POACHER A fainted...
That low HP, huh?
...On EXEGGCUTE!
...
Exeggcute, keep trying to get out from under there. In the meanwhile, Chansey, treat this as a one vs one. Try a Take Down.
EXEGGCUTE used WRIGGLE!
No effect!
CHANSEY used TAKE DOWN!
CHANSEY took POACHER B down!
POACHER B is returning to GROUND!
...As in... The place a couple of thousand feet below us?
POACHER B has left the battlefield!
SCRAMBLE wins!
...I suppose I better restrain Poacher A before they wake up...


The trio of Catherine, Joanne, and Solveig have arrived at Celadon City Game Corner, the open secret cover for Team Rocket's activities. But how will they figure out who they should be following?

Battle 48: A Sting Operation
Published: 26/11/22
Location: Celadon City Game Corner
Player: Catherine Fennel (3-1-2)

I swear this place has felt skeevier since it stopped being a casino and started being a series of loot boxes.
Why did they change that, anyway?
Less REGULATION!
Still, going to have to put up with it until one of us gets a lead...
Are Solveig and Joanne in their positions out the front and back?
Yes!
Awesome.
ROCKET JESSIE appeared!
ROCKET JAMES appeared!
MEOWTH appeared!
Are they saying anything?
No!
...Fine, I'll have to do plan B.
Sorry, do you three work here?
Jessie: What is it you want?
Well, I was just wondering if you have any recommendations for what loot boxes I should be opening?
James: Well that depends on what exactly it is you're trying to win.
James: That one there is for connoisseurs of shorts, if you have a Youngster it will be absolutely perfect for you.
CATHERINE used EYEBROW RAISE!
James: Not-that-you-look-like-you'd-have-a-kid-old-enough-to-be-a-Youngster-of-course ahahaha~
Meowth: What these two bozos are trying to say is that you'll need to tell us what you're looking for before we can tell you what box to open.
I'm looking for rare punctuation.
Meowth: ...
James: ...
Jessie: ...Punctuation? You're wasting our time to ask where you can win punctuation?!
James: What she means is that we'll be sure to let our manager know there's demand for that sort of facility, now if you'll excuse us there's an extremely rare and valuable Pikachu we need to leave so we can ste-- I mean research.
ROCKET JESSIE, JAMES and MEOWTH blasted out the door!
Clearly not those three, then.
...I think I like the plan even less now I've had to interact with them for it.
ROCKET GRANT appeared!
ROCKET RED appeared!
Rocket Grant: You sure you've got the route memorized?
RED used EYEROLL!
Ouch, I felt that and it wasn't even directed at me.
Grant: ...Right. Still not sure why the Boss has given us a priority mission to retrieve a tilde from a cave, but whatever.
Grant: Especially why he specifically instructed you to carry it...
RED thinks GRANT should QUIET DOWN!
Grant: Fine. Fine. Not like these Wailords are going to be able to pull themselves away from their machines long enough to do anything about it, anyway.
Stealthy Bug.
CATHERINE used STEALTHY BUG!
CATHERINE planted TRACKING DEVICE on GRANT real STEALTHY like!
ROCKET RED and GRANT walked out!

Location: Empty Field
Time: 3 Hours Later
Player: Rocket Grant (1-0-1)

We've been walking through this empty field for two hours, my feet are sore, are you absolutely sure you haven't gotten lost?
RED is SURE!
RED keeps walking!
NARRATOR notes it's only been 30 minutes!
The 30 minutes before that were an EMPTY PLAIN!
And it was an EMPTY MEADOW before that!
Those are just synonyms for empty field!
Are not!
Are too!
GIANT NETTLE PATCH appeared!
Finally some vegetation other than short grass!
ROCKET RED started walking straight through it!
...Oh come on, you know I'm not immune to environmental hazards like you are...
ROCKET GRANT used FOLLOW!
GIANT NETTLE PATCH used STING!
...Sting? Really? His music was considered old hat when I was a Youngster...
The PAINFUL sort!
...Yeah, I know his music sucks, I just said that.
...You know what FINE!
Hurray, I talked myself out of having an absolutely torturous experience.
STING appeared!
STING wants to FIGHT!
Red, a little help?
RED is out of EARSHOT!
Drat
Zubat, go!
GRANT sent out ZUBAT!
STING sent out STING!
No Pokémon? Wow.
STING used FIELDS OF GOLD!
Well, clearly that's a lie...
Huh? Empty Field is evolving!
EMPTY FIELD evolved into EMPTY SOLID GOLD FIELD!

Location: Empty Solid Gold Field

...That feels like it's going to either cause ecological or economic problems down the line...
Impressive hardiness on these nettles that they seem to have not been impacted at all, mind.
How much GOLD did TEAM ROCKET pump into the KANTO ECONOMY to find a single PROTAGONIST TYPE TRAINER willing to JOIN?!
That wasn't my plan!
Anyway, Zubat, try Supersonic.
STING thinks ZUBAT is MISTAKING them for ANOTHER ARTIST!
STING's irritation rose!
...Hm...
STING used IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE SET THEM FREE!
...Didn't we used to use a tactic like that before--
Wait, quick, Zubat, return!
GRANT recalled ZUBAT!
GRANT sent out GRANT!
STING used ENGLISHMAN in NEW YORK!
...Why would you write a song about someone from a well known fictional analogue to the Galar region in a well known fictional analogue to the Unova region?
Those aren't even from the same IP, so it doesn't make sense as a promotional tie in...
GRANT used NITPICK!
STING is finding GRANT's CRITIQUE PETTY and UNIMAGINATIVE!
STING's irritation sharply rose!
STING used FRAGILE!
Well, clearly if that's all the criticism it takes to sharply rise his irritation...
STING ran away in a huff!
RED STOP A SECOND AND LET ME CATCH UP ITS HARD TO SEE YOU AND YOU MAKE ZERO SOUND!
GIANT NETTLE PATCH used STING!
...Didn't we already do that?
...Did GRANT interpret the NARRATION correctly last time?!
Ugh, fine. Ow, I think that one brushed against my hand. That's going to be sore for a while.
Better!
RED disappeared into NETTLE PATCH!
GRANT disappeared after RED!

Player: Solveig Poulsen (3-0-1)

SOLVEIG POULSEN appeared!
JOANNE BLOGGS appeared!
CATHERINE FENNEL appeared!
The metal surface of this gold should make it easier to catch up. According to the tracker, they went into the giant stinging nettle patch. Narrator, does the nettle patch end before their destination?
Yes!
Joanne Bloggs: Well that was easier than the last time we tried to get info out of you.
Last time YOU THREE were asking about INFO it isn't ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT!
NARRATOR can NARRATE about TEAM ROCKET and NETTLE PATCHES as much as it WANTS!
NARRATOR would VERY MUCH LIKE you THREE to SUCCEED in your GOALS!
How large is the nettle patch, and how far behind are we?
NARRATOR can NARRATE enough INCONVENIENCES into EXISTENCE to SLOW THEM long enough to be CUT OFF if SOLVEIG is thinking of GOING AROUND!
Excellent.
Joanne Bloggs: ...This feels weird...
Catherine Fennel: What does?
Joanne Bloggs: The Narrator working with me.
This is WEIRD for NARRATOR as well!
CATHERINE used HAND SQUEEZE!
Catherine Fennel: Just enjoy it while it lasts.
Joanne Bloggs: Yeah, I know it'll be back to tormenting me as soon as this is over.
NARRATOR will be EXTRA OBNOXIOUS to make up for LOST TIME!
Joanne Bloggs: ...Is that meant to make me feel better? Because it isn't doing.
Let's just do what we're doing and leave the banter with the Narrator for later.
SOLVEIG used CIRCUMNAVIGATE!
It's a super long attack!
...How long, exactly?
Long enough that if NARRATOR weren't OMNIPRESENT it wouldn't want to STICK AROUND for the DURATION!


Horace is visiting the Galarian seaside resort of Hulbury, having followed a lead for what he thinks might be a new monster to catch.

Battle 49: Plenty of Fish in the Sea
Published: 03/12/22
Location: Hulbury
Player: Horace Hunter (2-0-0)

Well, that was a complete dud.
Rumours of a Seel removing its skin? Look into it in case it's a Selkie, I thought.
Given the source, I should have known it'd be a fake to drum up tourism.
Seel isn't even found in Galar!
Narrator, any word on anything along the lines of a Missingno appearing anywhere in the Version? I really want an Eldritch type.
NARRATOR has a LEAD for HORACE!
Oh? On Missingno? That easy?
Better!
...That's the sort of response from you that has me craving a bar that serves something stronger than Lon Lon Milk. Still, go on.
SEVERAL GOSSLORD all in an OFFICE, waiting to be caught!
...Gosslord. Really? Zombies are so overdone these days.
NARRATOR thought HORACE liked CLASSIC MONSTERS!
I do. But in this day and age, trying to get a classic monster enthusiast interested in a Zombie is like getting a Pokémon Master interested in a Caterpie. They're good for beginners but far too common for connoisseurs.
Besides, I already have an undead type. My inconveniently named Vapir.
NARRATOR might be able to HELP HORACE with their NAMING PROBLEMS!
...
...
...Well that just confirms I'm not going anywhere near that office of yours. If you're trying to bribe me into going, it's clearly a death trap rather than an opportunity.
Wild ARROKUDA appeared!
...
...Is that meant to intimidate me into going along with you?
...
Does HORACE respect NARRATOR so little as to think NARRATOR would use an ARROKUDA as a THREAT?!
...Yes?
...Worth a SHOT!
...So... Am I free to go now we've established that it's not going to work or...?
Waste not, want not!
ARROKUDA wants to fight!
Fine. And since the sun just set, Vapir, go.
HORACE sent out VAPIR!
Try a bite.
VAPIR used BITE!
VAPIR sunk its FANGS into ARROKUDA!
ARROKUDA used LIQUIDATION!
ARROKUDA LIQUIDATED one of VAPIR's FANGS!
VAPIR was renamed APIR!
...We're still doing that?!
It's HORACE's thing!
NARRATOR could CHANGE HORACE's thing if HORACE visited a SPECIFIC OFFICE!
I don't know if you're trying to bribe me or threaten me anymore but you're way too desperate for me to even consider saying yes.
Apir, try making use of your new name to terrify the Arrokuda.
?!
...Frighten it with an Appear attack.
Oh!
APIR used APPEAR!
ARROKUDA became TERRIFIED!
ARROKUDA ran away!
Now can I go?
HORACE is SURE they won't RECONSIDER visiting OFFICE?!
For the love of...
Yes, I am sure.
WISHIWASHI appeared!
WISHIWASHI wants to fight!
...
...Are you trying to bore me into submission or something?
Will it WORK?!
No.
WISHIWASHI used WASH!
WISHIWASHI cracked out a new DECK!
WISHIWASHI WASHED said DECK!
Shuffle.
APIR used SHUFFLE!
APIR SHUFFLED letters in WISHIWASHI and APIR's names!
...Crud...
DEALING them out!
APIR was renamed AIARHHS!
WISHIWASHI was renamed WISIPIW!
WISIPIW used SIP!
WISIPIW sipped AIARHHS name!
AIARHHS was renamed AIARHH!
WISIPIW was renamed SWISIPIW!
Aargh!
AIARHH agrees with the SENTIMENT!
AIARHH screams sound more like ARHH, however!
OK, Aiarhh... Maybe try one of your too many H's as a bident for some spearfishing?
AIARHH used SPEARFISHING!
AIARHH caught S and P on H!
AIARHH was renamed AIARSHPH!
SWISIPIW was renamed SWIIIW!
SWIIIW used SWIM!
SWIIIW swiiimed away!
Can. I. Leave. Now.
Is HORACE interested in VISITING an OFFICE yet?!
I'm getting less interested in doing so the more you try and convince me.
CHINCHOU appeared!
Your patience is infamously low. You'll bore of this before I will.
CHINCHOU wants to fight!


When we last saw Joey, he chose to delve into the land of the dead (by allowing a Raticate to kill him) in order to ensure his Raticate (which he himself killed) would return to life in the Battle 50 resurrection battle. Will he succeed? And with so few deaths in Sandy Version thus far, what populates it, anyway?

Battle 50: One Shall Return
Location: Sandy Version Land of the Dead - River Sticks
Player: Joey (7-2-0)

Still not used to how many identical shirtless buff lion men there are in this place.
And I'm still getting used to not having the Narrator around, too. Wish I knew what any of them were called, but they're way too intimidating to ask...
Just about used to moving without the Narrator and in these ridiculous long trousers...
...Hope we're not at Battle 50 yet. Still not found Raticate, and this is quite the distance from where I think the portal's going to appear.
NARRATOR appeared!
Been a while since NARRATOR was in the LAND OF THE DEAD!
Gah! Where'd you come from?
NARRATOR is able to be in the LAND OF THE DEAD every 50 OFFICIAL BATTLES!
Oh, cool... Any chance of you letting me know what the buff lion guys are called?
What BUFF LION GUYS?!
...The shirtless ones with the swords? And the identical goth belts on the left arm?
NARRATOR doessn't see any BUFF SHIRTLESS LION GUYS with GOTH BELTS!
...Uhh...
NARRATOR expected JOEY to be NEARER to the PORTAL SITE!
Not found Raticate yet.
RATICATE appeared!
Well that's convenient!
...On the other BANK of the RIVER STICKS!
Just to double check, is it my Raticate?
Yes!
Hey! Raticate! If you can find a safe crossing of this weird wood river, I've got something important to tell you!
RATICATE wonders why it would trust its MURDERER!
RATICATE r--
Yeah, I know. I suck.
RATICATE senses a CHANGE in JOEY's ATTITUDE!
RATICATE pauses before running off!
A portal opens every 50 battles. I... Came to make sure you get through it.
I'm pretty sure we're in Battle 50 now, hence the Narrator, so we don't have much time to get you to the portal site.
RATICATE is SUSPICIOUS but INTRIGUED!
RATICATE wonders what's in this for JOEY!
...I get to correct a mistake... No, there was no mistake there. I get to undo something horrific I did.
Now, are you willing to chance listening to me? Can't be pleasant being a rat with all these weirdly buff cats around.
RATICATE nods!
NARRATOR still isn't sure what JOEY means by BUFF CATS or LIONS or WHATEVER!
RATICATE wonders how NARRATOR can't see all the BUFF LION MEN if it and JOEY can!
...Oh thank goodness you can see them as well, the way the Narrator's talking I was starting to worry I was imagining them...
Now... How do we get you to this side of this bizarre river of flowing wood? I'm 95% sure the portal site is on this side, a long way away.
RATICATE prepares to jump!
Careful - I think there's stories about this thing causing memory loss if you touch it.
RATICATE thinks that's the LEAFY RIVER!
Oh. Wow.
Good job I didn't jump into that one to see if they crunched a couple of months back...
Still, best not risk a dip in it anyway.
RATICATE used LEAP!
Catch!
JOEY used CATCH!
RATICATE landed in a HEAP in JOEY's ARMS!
RATICATE appreciates the catch but would prefer not to be held by the BOY who KILLED it for too long!
Right. Sorry. Setting you down away from the river.
JOEY used SET DOWN!
RATICATE was set down safely!
OK, the fastest way to the portal site should be this way. Hope we make it in time.
JOEY used LEAD!
RATICATE used FOLLOW!
LOCATION used CHANGE!

Location: Sandy Version Land of the Dead - Lily Fields

JOEY appeared!
RATICATE appeared!
OK, it's just the other side of these lilies.
Narrator, how long until the battle ends?
NARRATOR does not know!
RATICATE looks more comfortable!
I guess there aren't any buff lion men around here, huh?
RATICATE nods!
Hey, seems I won't need it since you're trusting me to guide you back to life, but... I want you to have this.
JOEY passes RATICATE a POKéBALL!
Just in case you ever need it.
RATICATE wonders why JOEY didn't catch it and bring it back that way!
Yeah, because having Pokémon worked out so well for me last time.
I brought it with me as a last resort. If you want to catch something to take with you - or catch something when you escape - that's up to you.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping you'd bring me back with you, but...
...I doubt you'd want to bring a monster like me back to life.
RATICATE blinks!
RATICATE thinks maybe JOEY is getting better at things aside from CHEESE!
...Walking in long pants, for a start...
RATICATE almost CRACKS a SMILE!
I can't see anything but lilies now, hope we didn't get turned around.
Oh! A visitor! Didn't see you there.
...Hi... Fleshless... Dinosaur thing.
Dragon, actually.
Oh. Sorry.
Nah, I'm messing with you. Dragon, dinosaur. No skin off of my nose.
...I do miss the skin that used to be there, though... Keep getting phantom itches... Scratching muscle hurts like hell.
Sorry, I didn't catch your name, but the narrator didn't announce your appearance?
NARRATOR wonders who JOEY is talking to!
Yeah. This Narrator can't see Digimon for some reason. Doesn't know I exist. Which, thankfully, means I can't hear it either. I'm Veemon. How about you?
Joey. What's a Digimon?
NARRATOR has no clue!
I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you. I'm guessing if the Narrator's around, we're on Battle 50 of an official cycle? Or has this Narrator finally snuffed it?
Wait... Narrators can die?
...NARRATOR does not APPRECIATE that question!
Yeah. I've seen a few die. All have the same awful sense of humour. Kind of nice that there isn't one permanently residing here these days. There used to be...
What happened to it?
Withered away after a couple of years. Even here things die, never to come back. For some reason, gods die here faster than anything else.
...Is... That what happened to your... Flesh?
Nope. Being skinned alive is what killed me.
...eeesh...
RATICATE grimaces!
Bet you had a less painful death, huh?
If you don't make the portal, the three of us can hang out in these lilies and share death stories in excruciating detail. Not much else to do around here, unless you like hanging around the hoards of Leomon. And the occasional shorn bean.
...I think I passed a microphone as well while searching for Raticate. Doubt that would make good conversation, though...
Anyway, I kind of lost track of my direction in this vast sea of white flowers... Can you direct us?
Sure, no problem. That way.
Cheers.
JOEY and RATICATE head off together!

Location: Sandy Version Land of the Dead - Portal Plaza

JOEY and RATICATE appeared!
DAVE appeared!
The portal's not open, were we too late?
PORTAL requires a BATTLE at the PORTAL PLAZA to OPEN!
Dave: Oh come on! The person I need to beat to get back to life is a little kid?!
...
Dave: Not fussed about the rat I'm apparently going to be doing a three way battle with alongside him, mind...
Raticate: ...
Dave: Sorry, kid. I have a to-do list out there, and it's rare that official battle cycles make it to 50, so you're going to have to wait and hope for another opportunity to pass through.
...The Narrator announced your appearance, which means you heard the Narrator announce mine. That means you know my name, Jerkface.
Dave: ...Listen, kid, I've been dealing with Narrators since before you were born. You don't stand a chance. Give up, I'll take out the rat and skedaddle through the portal just as soon as it opens. There's a cool small dragon in the lily fields. Go hang out with him until the next opportunity to leave.
We met just now. Seems nice enough, I look forward to spending more time with him.
...What DRAGON?!
Dave: Nothing you need to concern yourself with, Narrator.
Dave: ...So weird that you can't see Digimon, though. I don't think any of the prior Narrators had anything like that...
Maybe if you stop being a jerkface, you can hang with us as well. Because that Raticate? Ensuring he goes through the portal is why I let myself be killed.
Dave: ...You let yourself be killed to save your Pokémon from the Land of the Dead?
Dave: When the hell did Sandy stop being comedy?
NARRATOR tries!
PLAYERS keep being a DRAG!
Why are you talking about Sandy Version as if it were a piece of media?
Dave: ...Wait. Doesn't he know?
No!
Dave: ...Should I... Explain before we battle?
No!
Dave: ...Huh...
Dave: Wait, does... Does anyone alive in Sandy know?
Dave: I mean, aside from him, obviously...
Not as far as NARRATOR is AWARE!
And NARRATOR is AWARE of MOST PARTS of SANDY!
What are the two of you talking about?
Dave: ...Just a silly in-joke between me and the Narrator from before your time. No need to worry about it.
Indeed!
You know what NARRATOR is like with its BAD JOKES!
...
...
...Right...
Dave: Ready kid?
I'm as ready as you are, Jerkface.
RATICATE is ready as well!
DAVE wants to fight!
Ally RATICATE wants to fight!
Go, myself!
JOEY sent out JOEY!
DAVE sent out DAVE!
RATICATE sent out RATICATE!
Flying tackle.
JOEY used FLYING TACKLE!
DAVE used SIDESTEP!
JOEY's attack missed!
JOEY kept going and crashed!
...Into STONE PILLAR!
...Considering I'm currently dead, that was surprisingly painful.
RATICATE used EDGE!
RATICATE EDGED closer to OBVIOUS LOCATION for PORTAL!
DAVE used TAIL FLING!
DAVE FLUNG RATICATE into JOEY by the TAIL!
Gosh darn it. We need you to be closer to the portal than he is when it opens.
Hey, Raticate?
Remember our strategizing from back when we got on?
RATICATE grins!
Let's go with plan Mikey Is A Rotten Cheater.
JOEY used ANKLE GRAB!
RATICATE used SUMMERSAULT KICK!
RATICATE span through the AIR!
JOEY LATCHED onto DAVE's ANKLES
Dave: ...What the...?
RATICATE's feet CONNECTED with DAVE's HEAD!
Dave: Ow!
DAVE used GRAB!
DAVE GRABBED RATICATE as it LAUNCHED off of their HEAD!
Dang, was hoping that would work...
Maybe a tickle attack?
JOEY used TICKLE!
RATICATE used WRIGGLE!
DAVE used STRUGGLE!
DAVE struggled to keep holding on to RATICATE between the TICKLING and the WRIGGLING!
PLAZA used OPEN!
PORTAL appeared!
First to MAKE IT to the PORTAL returns to LIFE!
RATICATE looks at JOEY and DAVE!
RATICATE looks at PORTAL!
RATICATE threw POKéBALL!
JOEY was caught!
JOEY is no longer CLINGING to DAVE!
DAVE used TRIP
DAVE fell!
DAVE maintained GRIP!
DAVE used SCRAMBLE!
RATICATE used SQUIRM
PORTAL used ACCEPT!
PORTAL ACCEPTED one admission!
NARRATOR was BLASTED OUT of LAND of the DEAD before seeing WHO GOT THROUGH!