Life is returning to normal in the Johto region following Joey conquering it and then getting dethroned by Ben. For example, the gyms are starting to reopen. Gym Leader Chuck awaits his first challenger in a while.
Battle 41: Sticks and Stones
Published: 08/10/22
Location: Cinawood Gym
Player: Gym Leader Chuck (0-0-0)
So good to be back in business after the... Incident.
Wonder who's going to be the first trainer to overcome the Strength puzzle and defeat Lung to face me.
...Err...
...Also get lucky enough to not have the Narrator make a pun about Lung being defeated leading to them fainting from oxygen deficiency...
The JOKE is almost TOO OBVIOUS not to make OK?!
...I really should rearrange the trainers to make Lung an optional encounter...
It would HELP!
GOLD appeared!
WAHAHAH!
So you've come this far!
Let me tell you, I'm tough!
My Pokémon will crush stones and shatter bones!
Gold: ...
Watch this!
Urggh!
CHUCK used ROCK THROW!
Gold: ...
Oooarrgh!
CHUCK threw STRENGTH PUZZLE ROCK at GYM STATUE!
ROCK fainted!
GYM STATUE is in critical condition!
There! Scared now, are you?
Gold: ...
What? It has nothing to do with Pokémon?
That's true!
Come on. We shall do battle!
GOLD wants to fight!
Primeape, go.
CHUCK sent out PRIMEAPE!
GOLD sent out FINGER!
An unusual choice in Pokémon. Nevertheless. Close combat.
PRIMAPE used CLOSE COMBAT!
FINGER used WRESTLE!
It doesn't get much CLOSER COMBAT than a THUMB WRESTLE!
But FINGER is an AUTONOMOUS FINGER rather than a THUMB!
NARRATOR squints!
PRIMEAPE... while lacking FINGERS appears to have something that RESEMBLES a THUMB!
PRIMEAPE wins the THUMB WRESTLE by DEFAULT!
I'm not sure if that actually did anything, but follow it up with a scratch attack.
PRIMEAPE used SCRATCH!
FINGER used NAIL!
PRIMEAPE and FINGER are SCRATCHING each other's ITCHES!
PRIMEAPE and FINGER declare a TRUCE to better GROOM each other!
Send out next POKéMON?!
Poliwrath, go.
CHUCK sent out POLIWRATH!
GOLD sent out SUDOWOODO!
...Sending out a Rock type against a Water/Fighting type is a bold move, I'll give you that.
Gold: ...
Let's start with a Hydro Pump.
POLIWRATH used HYDRO PUMP!
SUDOWOODO used WOOD HAMMER!
...
NARRATOR would RATHER NOT learn about WATER HAMMER PUMPS right now!
WOOD remains!
CINAWOOD GYM is made of WOOD!
It's probably best for EVERYONE that WOOD continues to REMAIN!
Circle Throw.
POLIWRATH used CIRCLE THROW!
POLIWRATH threw SUDOWOODO into GYM STATUE!
SUDOWOODO is in critical condition!
GYM STATUE was already in critical condition from CHUCK's display of STRENGTH earlier!
GYM STATUE fainted!
...Err...
...Onto CHUCK!
CHUCK's POKéMON did indeed SHATTER BONES!
TWO RIBS to be EXACT!
CHUCK is unable to battle!
GOLD wins!
Wha? Huh? I lost?
How about that!
You're worthy of Storm Badge!
...And please send for help on your way out...
Don Carter is a private investigator whose investigation of some missing diamonds lead him to Icirrus City. Let's see just how that goes for him.
Battle 42: The City's Flame
Published: 15/10/22
Location: Icirrus City
Player: Don Carter (0-0-0)
The winter was coming in. A bitter cold snap chilled my bones. Crime also chilled them, but this felt different somehow.
DON CARTER is currently in the PASTORAL CITY of ICIRRUS filled with WINDMILLS and which becomes a WINTER WONDERLAND full of FLUFFY SNOW each WINTER!
Give the NOIR AFFECTATION a REST!
But I couldn't. With a name like Don Carter, I was cursed to talk like a character in a badly written 1920s pulp novel. Cursed like crime curses every city known to man.
NIGHT used fall!
It's super effective!
SUN fainted!
MOON was fully revived!
The ETERNAL BATTLE between DAY and NIGHT rages on!
The darkness suddenly came over the city around me. This was when the criminal elements flourished most.
NARRATOR isn't sure the CRIME STATISTICS actually REFLECT that!
Especially if you FACTOR in WHITE COLLAR CORPORATE CRIME!
The eternal voice that controls reality tried to engage me in a discussion of the nuances of crime statistics, but it was no use. My name's curse that impacted my talking also impacted my thinking to the stereotypes of the pulp and penny dreadful genres.
CITY LIGHTS appeared!
The city lights turned on like the flash of a Pokémon helping a trainer navigate a dark cave, dazzling me with their diamond-like glean. Diamonds like the ones I was investigating the disappearance of.
...NARRATOR has been TRYING to tell DON for WEEKS that a COUPLE of SABLEYE got into the SAFETY DEPOSIT BOX they were STORED in and ATE them!
There are no CRIMINALS, GANGS, MOBS, or other NEFARIOUS GOINGS involved here!
Just a couple of HUNGRY WILD POKéMON and their NATURAL FOOD SOURCE!
But I couldn't bring myself to believe what the booming source of the puns and pain we call life was telling me. Not with a name like Don Carter, rooted in the pulp and the noir. No matter how much evidence, rational thought, or direct testimony from the heavens told me otherwise, I couldn't shake the feeling in my gut that it had to go deeper than just a couple of wild Pokémon.
One CITY LIGHT used FLICKER!
One of the city lights started flickering in the breeze. Weird. Unova switched from gas lamps to electric for public lighting over a century ago. Was it a clue? Or something worse. I hesitatingly started walking towards it.
DON used APPROACH!
One CITY LIGHT was renamed LAMPENT!
A Lampent. Looking it up on my trusty Sandy Dex, I found out it liked to hang out in cities. I thought it added to the ambience, so long as it didn't start following me around. If it did that, it meant it sensed my upcoming death. I walked past it, towards an alley I thought might have clues for my investigation.
DON used PASS!
DON passed LAMPENT by!
LAMPENT used FOLLOW!
LAMPENT follows behind DON!
...
I asked the voice that was somehow red text at the same time if there was anyone else in the area it might be following and if my happening to be in front of it was just a coincidence.
NARRATOR told the DETECTIVE who ENJO--
Ahem!
No!
...
...
I knew right there I had to avert course, change what I was doing that was imminently going to lead to my untimely demise. But what?
DON is 47!
DON has HEAVY SMOKING and DRINKING HABITS!
DON recklessly BARGES into HEADQUARTERS of DANGEROUS GANGS and MOBS who have NOTHING to do with what DON is currently INVESTIGATING!
NARRATOR thinks DON is already on BORROWED TIME!
I suddenly realized I was about to investigate the alley when the Lampent started following me. I knew there must be a mugger in the alley who'd be happy to kill me for my shoes. If I turned tail and went in another direction, surely the Lampent would stop following me.
DON used U-TURN!
DON turned tail and went the OTHER WAY!
LAMPENT's attack continued!
LAMPENT continues to follow behind DON!
I considered. Maybe it was a hit job ordered by the local criminal gang, Team Plasma? If I could take out the source of the funds before the killer got to me, there'd be no pay and so no incentive. That would also mean that it was Team Plasma behind the diamond theft, but why?
...The SABLEYE who ATE the DIAMONDS were not involved with any CRIMINAL TEAM, PLASMA or otherwise!
They were just WILD SABLEYE!
I pleaded with the pun loving god to tell me where the nearest Team Plasma operation was so I could quickly start dismantling the organization. It told me--
NARRATOR is not about to let a PLAYER NARRATE NARRATOR's ACTIONS!
PLASMA GRUNT appeared!
LAMPENT used APPROACH!
LAMPENT drew closer!
PLASMA GRUNT wants to fight!
I got out my trusty six-shooter.
DON sent out PISTOL!
PLASMA GRUNT sent out CRYOGONAL!
And aiming carefully at the giant snowflake, I shot, aiming right between the monster's eyes.
PISTOL used SHOOT!
CRYOGONAL used REFLECT!
BULLET was REFLECTED!
Critical hit!
DON is BLEEDING OUT!
Plasma Grunt: ...Crud! We can't be seen here!
PLASMA GRUNT withdrew CRYOGONAL!
PLASMA GRUNT ran away!
And between my blood staining the streets like a river fertilizing the ground by flooding, and the Lampent who'd been following me signalling the end of my life approaching, I knew I was breathing my last breaths. But before I died, I just... Needed to know one thing. What was going to kill me had I gone into the Alley rather than attempted to avert my fate?
NOTHING!
There was NOTHING in the ALLEY that would have killed DON!
Just a couple of TEENS working on their ART!
The MURAL they're doing is GORGEOUS by the by!
I couldn't understand. If that was true, why did the Lampent start following me?
Because as soon as DON passed it their DEATH was IMPENDING because of the ACTIONS they'd take to avert their IMPENDING DEATH!
DON died!
LAMPENT used ABSORB!
DON's SOUL was fully ABSORBED into FUEL instead of PASSING ON!
LAMPENT used MIMIC!
LAMPENT started MIMICKING STREET LIGHTS again!
Big Bro Brad has decided that he and his two younger brothers, Teen Greg and Youngster Lewis, are going to spend a night in a creepy abandoned house in the interest of celebrating the season. We join them en route.
Battle 43: Spirited Brothers
Published: 22/10/22
Location: Derelict House (Exterior)
Player: Big Bro Brad (0-0-0)
I don't believe both my brothers are wusses. It's just an abandoned house.
Teen Greg: ...We're not wusses... We... Just... Err...
Youngster Lewis: We just don't think staying this time of year is a good idea.
Teen Greg: Can it, Lewis. You're making us both look bad.
GREG used WET WILLY!
It's super gross!
Youngster Lewis: ...Sorry...
Anyway, if you two scaredy Meowths are done, let's go over this again. We go in, we split up, and anyone who wusses out before sunrise pays the usual penalty.
Location: Derelict House (Child's Bedroom)
Player: Youngster Lewis (0-0-0)
OK... There's a bed that doesn't look too risky to sleep on and... I brought a sleeping bag with me so I can just lay it out on the bed and be warm and not need to sleep on the floor.
Hey, Narrator, could you please not make anything become animate in this room? As a favour?
NARRATOR isn't in the mood to do FAVOURS for YOUNGSTERS after the past FEW MONTHS!
But NARRATOR doesn't feel it needs to INTERFERE in the EVENTS of TONIGHT!
Sleep well!
...goody...
WIND used HOWL!
THUNDER used CRASH!
LEWIS used COWER!
GASTLY appeared!
Ahh! A ghost!
GASTLY used CURIOUS LOOK!
GASTLY looks at LEWS CURIOUSLY!
...Huh?
Gastly: Gast gast! Gastly gastly?
...Narrator?
NARRATOR still isn't in the mood to do FAVOURS for YOUNGSTERS!
But you usually translate Pokémon talk for humans!
As a FAVOUR!
...
...OK... You don't look like you're trying to hurt me...
...And the Narrator hasn't Narrated that you want to fight...
Gastly: Gastly gast gast gast gastly gast gast?!
Fine!
NARRATOR will TRANSLATE as a FAVOUR for GASTLY!
GASTLY hasn't seen a HUMAN for a LONG TIME!
GASTLY wants to know why LEWIS is here!
My brothers are meanies and get worse as they get older. My eldest dared us to stay the night here during October and my other one is bullying me into it to save face.
GASTLY can help!
...Help me with my brothers or help me survive the night in...
Well, I'm sure you're comfortable here and it's familiar for you but...
DOOR used CREAK!
It's super creepy!
...Everything about this place is terrifying for me...
GASTLY understands!
GASTLY would never hurt ANYONE!
GASTLY offers LEWIS FRIENDSHIP and help SLEEPING!
...Help sleeping?
GASTLY thinks if LEWIS is able to fall asleep FASTER the NIGHT will pass like NOTHING for them!
...Yeah, that... That makes sense, but how will you help me sleep?
GASTLY wants to know if LEWIS is willing to trust it!
...Err... Yeah. You've given me no reason not to.
GASTLY used SLEEPING GAS!
GASTLY gives PRECISE DOSE with its POISON CLOUD to help give LEWIS a REFRESHING 8 HOURS SLEEP!
LEWIS fell asleep!
Location: Derelict House (Basement)
Player: Teen Greg (0-0-0)
I swear if Lewis wets himself I am not taking my pants off so he has something clean to wear...
NARRATOR doesn't think GREG is really worried about LEWIS's BLADDER!
PIPE used HAMMER!
Aaaaaagh!
GREG used JUMP!
That's what NARRATOR thought!
Stupid dare. Just a wrecked house. Nothing to be scared of.
OMINOUS LAUGHTER appeared!
...lovely...
LARGE PURPLE HANDS appeared!
...Err...
LARGE PURPLE HANDS used WEDGIE!
Arrrrrrgh!
It's super effective!
HAUNTER finishes appearing!
Not. Funny.
HAUNTER disagrees!
HAUNTER hasn't had an opportunity to PLAY with a HUMAN for DECADES!
Play? Yeah. We can do that. What do you want to play? Since I have to stay the night here I brought my Switch. Mario Kart, maybe? Splatoon 3 just came out though the multiplayer's online only... Do you even have internet here?
HAUNTER thinks GREG misunderstands!
HAUNTER intends to use GREG as a TOY to PLAY WITH!
...Just like GREG tends to use LEWIS come to think of it!
...Oh is this you giving me an ironic punishment of encountering a ghost type who's just as much a bully as I am? If I promise to be nice to my brother you'll let me go?
NARRATOR has nothing to do with this!
NARRATOR is DONE doing FAVOURS for YOUNGSTERS!
NARRATOR feels no NEED to INTERFERE tonight!
...Err...
HAUNTER wants to play!
Well, I don't!
GREG wants to fight!
HAUNTER used SCARY LOOK!
...eeeep...
GREG dropped their POKéBALL in FEAR!
GREG was dragged out!
Come on!
HAUNTER used LICK!
...Ew, tongue on the face...
GREG appears to be paralysed, they may not attack!
Grabbing for the dropped Pokéball so I can switch myself out!
GREG is fully paralysed!
...Goddamnit...
HAUNTER used HEADLOCK!
HAUNTER has GREG trapped in the HEADLOCK!
I'm going to try and prize myself out of it!
GREG used PRIZE!
No PRIZES for guessing how that's going to go!
...Seriously?
...If GREG wants to be BORING and get the SERIOUS NARRATION about it!
No effect!
Why not?!
...GREG really should have paid more ATTENTION to TYPE MATCHUPS!
PRIZE is a NORMAL TYPE MOVE!
HAUNTER is a GHOST TYPE POKéMON!
Does NARRATOR need to SPELL it out MORE?!
But I don't have anything but Normal type moves!
That sounds like a GREG problem to NARRATOR!
HAUNTER used NOOGIE!
Owwwwww
Desperate grab for the dropped Pokéball?
GREG used DESPERATE GRAB!
GREG touched POKéBALL with their FINGERS!
POKéBALL rolled FURTHER AWAY from the GRAB!
HAUNTER used DRAG!
HAUNTER is DRAGGING GREG by the HEADLOCK further away from the POKéBALL and towards an OMINOUS PURPLE DOOR that wasn't there before!
HAUNTER's NOOGIE attack continues!
I'm too young to die!
HAUNTER has no INTENT on KILLING GREG!
...Huh?
HAUNTER will just take GREG to its ROOM to TORMENT them for a WHILE before releasing GREG entirely UNAGED from the EXPERIENCE!
...Unaged? Why would that be relevant?
HAUNTER used MALICIOUS LAUGH!
HAUNTER laughs about how it played with its LAST TOY for 10 YEARS!
HAUNTER thinks GREG will be at least TWICE as FUN to PLAY WITH!
...Noooooo...
HAUNTER and GREG disappeared through OMINOUS PURPLE DOOR!
OMINOUS PURPLE DOOR disappeared!
...BOTH HAUNTER and GREG left the BATTLEFIELD at the SAME TIME!
...NARRATOR will let RECORD KEEPER figure out what that means!
Location: Derelict House (Foyer)
Player: Big Bro Brad (0-0-0)
And now that my brothers have gone away for a miserable night in a spooky abandoned house, I'm going to skedaddle to my actual plans for the night.
BRAD is not going to FULFILL the DARE themself?!
Hell no. There's a party in a couple of hours and Samantha seems into me so I'm hoping to get some action.
NARRATOR doesn't think BRAD has to WORRY about getting ACTION!
What's that meant to mean?
NOTHING BRAD should CONCERN themself with!
...Or can do anything ABOUT it at this point!
...Ominous cryptic bs aside, I'm planning on being back by sunset so the annoying tykes don't know I ditched 'em.
Are you planning on actually doing neutral narration and not filling them in on things they wouldn't know without your help?
NARRATOR isn't in the mood to do FAVOURS for YOUNGSTERS at the moment!
...And Greg?
NARRATOR doesn't expect GREG will ASK when they leave!
...Again with the ominous cryptic bs, huh? Whatever.
BRAD used LEAVE!
BRAD left DERELICT HOUE!
Location: Forest Path
SUDDEN CHILL appeared!
Blimey, it's gotten cold all of a sudden. I thought I'd worn a thick enough jacket, too.
...BRAD may want to check their SANDY DEX!
For what?
It's automated!
NARRATOR is sure GREG will get the relevant ENTRY!
Fine.
Sandy Dex: Gengar apparently wishes for a travelling companion. Since it was once human itself, it tries to create one by taking the lives of other humans. Should you feel yourself attacked by a sudden chill, it is evidence of an approaching Gengar. There is no escaping it. Give up.
...what.
NARRATOR thinks GREG is about to get their ACTION!
GENGAR appeared!
...OK, very funny. I get it, I'm a terrible brother. You can stop the charade now.
NARRATOR hasn't been INTERFERING tonight!
GENGAR has been STALKING GREG since they entered the DERELICT HOUSE!
GENGAR things GREG will make an EXCELLENT TRAVELLING COMPANION!
...NARRATOR has no clue what GENGAR sees in GREG!
GENGAR used KILL!
GREG died!
Huh? BIG BRO GREG is EVOLVING!
I thought you said I died.
BIG BRO GREG evolved into GASTLY!
Gast!
Gast gast Gastly gastly gast gast Gastly gast gast gast gastly?!
GASTLY is talking like a GASTLY all of a SUDDEN because GASTLY is now a GASTLY!
NARRATOR is starting to think LEWIS got all the INTELLECT in their FAMILY!
GASTLY should ENJOY their new ETERNITY as a GHOST TYPE!
NARRATOR is sure GENGAR will show GASTLY the ROPES!
Location: Derelict House (Foyer)
Time: The Next Morning
Player: Youngster Lewis (0-0-0)
Where the heck are Greg and Brad?
Both are BUSY ELSEWHERE!
...You mean I'm the only one who actually stayed in the house for the night?
...Something like that!
GASTLY appeared!
GASTLY hands LEWIS a POKéBALL!
...Isn't this the ball Greg keeps his Linoone in?
GASTLY found it in the BASEMENT!
...Huh?
LEWIS isn't the only person who ENCOUNTERED a GHOST TYPE tonight!
GREG is going to be busy PLAYING with a HAUNTER for a long time and LEWIS' other BROTHER is now on an ADVENTURE with a GENGAR!
...I'm... I'm Free of their torments?
So much for you not being in the mood to do favours for Youngsters.
NARRATOR did nothing to INTERFERE last night!
LEWIS has GASTLY and its PALS to thank!
GASTLY wants to remain friends with LEWIS!
I'd like that too. You want to meet up at your place or mine next time?
GASTLY thinks LEWIS is misunderstanding!
GASTLY bumps into EMPTY POKéBALL!
LEWIS caught GASTLY!
...Oh.
Yeah. I definitely like that option too.
There exists a forest within Sandy Version where the Narrator promised to not animate any of the Palm Trees, making it a popular place for parents to let their children play without worry. But are Palm Trees really the only thing in forests to be afraid of?
Battle 44: The Voice in the Forest
Published: 29/10/22
Location: Tame Palms Forest
Player: Preschooler Lucy (0-0-0)
Sign: The Narrator has--
Mom Laura: Narrator, maybe you could let Lucy read it? Help her practice?
Sorry!
Oh... ok...
The Narrator has prom... promised... to not ani... anim... Err...
Mom Laura: It's ok, try breaking it down into parts if you're struggling.
An... i... mate... animate? What does that mean?
Mom Laura: Bring to life. Make it move. You know how one day your plush Vulpix was suddenly a Pokémon and the two of you became fast friends? The Narrator animated it.
Oh ok.
The Narrator has promised to not... animate... any of the palm trees in this forest.
Why would the Narrator making the palm trees Pokémon be bad?
Mom Laura: Because Palm Trees make for extremely dangerous Pokémon, the Narrator's promise makes this forest safe for kids like you to play in. Remember, stick to the paths and if the Narrator tells you to do something, be sure to do it.
I will, Mommy.
NARRATOR is sure LUCY will be FINE!
Mom Laura: And you promise not to bring any harm to her?
NARRATOR swears to not INTERFERE in EVENTS RELATING to LUCY beyond ADVISING until LAURA returns!
Mommy told me not to swear...
SWEAR in this CONTEXT is another word for PROMISE!
Oh ok.
LAURA, get some rest!
NARRATOR often takes care of PRESCHOOLERS, YOUNGSTERS and LASSES to give their PARENTS a BREAK!
NARRATOR only rarely MEDDLES when doing so!
Mom Laura: Rarely?
...NARRATOR has had some BAD EXPERIENCES trying to recruit a CHOSEN HERO lately!
NARRATOR is trying to think of OTHER PLANS if the current GROUP who seem to have CHOSEN themselves fail!
NARRATOR was going for YOUNGSTERS rather than PRESCHOOLERS for that anyway!
Mom Laura: ...Right... Thanks for this.
MOM LAURA left!
LUCY used PLAY!
LUCY played HAPPILY in the FOREST!
???: hello
Hi! I can't see you, I don't think you've appeared yet!
...?!
There's nothing to appear!
???: will you be my friend
I love making new friends!
???: please come play with me
Sure. Where are you?
???: just follow my voice
NARRATOR reminds LUCY that they're meant to STICK TO THE PATH!
But my new friend's this way.
LUCY used LEAVE!
LUCY began to LEAVE the PATH!
LUCY really should STICK to the PATH!
It will be fine for a couple of minutes.
...
...NARRATOR would FORCE LUCY to STICK to the PATH if NARRATOR hadn't PROMISED not to INTERFERE aside from ADVICE!
Good thing for me you did, then.
...It really REALLY isn't!
Is too!
Is not!
LUCY's LEAVE attack continued!
PATH disappeared!
???: just a little further
THICK FOG appeared!
...I don't like this forest any more...
LUCY used RETURN!
LUCY attempted to RETURN to the PATH!
Attack failed!
Huh?
NARRATOR is TRYING to find a LOOPHOLE in its earlier NARRATED PROMISE to get LUCY out of this MESS!
NARRATOR's attack failed!
???: why are you trying to leave
???: you said you'd play with me
The fog came in and I got scared!
???: there's nothing to fear
???: just keep following my voice
???: then we can play
Oh ok.
LUCY used FOLLOW!
PALM TREES gave way to PALM TREE HUSKS!
TEMPERATURE used DROP!
TEMPERATURE fell off a NONEXISTANT CLIFF!
Please. It's getting cold. Where are you?
No response!
...Hello?
No response!
I want to go home.
LUCY used RUN!
LUCY attempts to run back to the PATH!
No effect!
LUCY used CRY!
Please help!
TREE STUMP appeared!
LUCY used SIT!
TEMPERATURE continues to fall!
...So cold...
CAM--
WAR--
Narrator?
NARRATOR is TRYING to get a CAMPFIRE to appear but is CONSTRAINED by EARLIER NARRATION!
NARRATOR used OATH BREAK!
NARRATOR doesn't know that attack!
Oh, come on!
NARRATOR isn't going to PLAY NICE just because it's for NARRATOR!
But NARRATOR is NARRATOR!
NARRATOR wants the same OUTCOME as NARRATOR!
NARRATOR thinks NARRATOR needs to be subject to NARRATOR's NARRATION just as much as ANYONE ELSE!
...Narrator, why are you... talking to you... yourself...
NARRATOR is BOUND by NARRATOR's EARLIER NARRATION!
NARRATOR cannot help LUCY!
NARRATOR wants to, however!
But NARRATOR doesn't want to TAKE BACK earlier NARRATION!
NARRATOR is apparently LITERALLY SPLIT on it!
...i'm getting... sleepy...
LUCY should try and STAY AWAKE!
SNOW appeared!
but i'm... so... tired...
LUCY fell asleep!
LUCY died!
Huh? LUCY and TREE STUMP are evolving!
LUCY and TREE STUMP evolved into PHANTUMP!
PHANTUMP appeared!
Phantump: you came
Phantump: we can play together now
PHANTUMP woke up!
are you the one who called me
Phantump: i am
i got scared
Phantump: i'm sorry
Phantump: i didn't mean to scare you
i'm not afraid anymore
Phantump: so we can be friends
i'd like that
After the Narrator accidentally revealed the identity of the person who had information that would help them figure out what Team Rocket was up to, the trio of Joanne, Catherine, and Solveig have managed to track him down.
Battle 45: Knotty Problems
Published: 05/11/22
Location: Ben's House (Exterior)
Player: Joanne Bloggs (3-2-1)
Are you sure this is the place?
Solveig Poulsen: Positive.
Catherine Fennel: The Narrator doesn't seem to think we should be here.
NARRATOR thinks you should LEAVE!
And where should we be?
...ELSEWHERE!
We're only here because you're terrified of something and are refusing to tell us what Team Rocket is trying to do or why it's scaring you, and something that scares you is... Well...
Solveig Poulsen: ...An existential crisis for everything in Sandy Version.
That.
NARRATOR thinks a DIFFERENT PLAN would be BETTER!
I'll use knock.
JOANNE used KNOCK!
KNOCK appeared!
Who's there?!
...You don't know us--
YOU DON'T KNOW US who?!
...I hate you so much.
CATHERINE used KNOCK!
NOKIA used GRANDE VALSE!
...Huh, I haven't heard that for years...
It's super nostalgic!
...When the Narrator's like this it can keep going with delaying puns for hours, which we don't have.
Solveig Poulsen: Ladies, do you mind if I try?
Be my guest, but--
Solveig Poulsen: HI THE NARRATOR IS BEING DIFFICULT RIGHT NOW COULD SOMEONE PLEASE COME TO THE DOOR WE CAN'T KNOCK ON IT!
...That...
DOOR opened!
YOUNGSTER BEN appeared!
...Actually worked?!
Solveig Poulsen: Some puzzles require an Alexandrian solution - If the Narrator is determined to stall and there's a way to bypass it...
Youngster Ben: Are you here to see my mum? It's just that she's taken my brother to his appointment, and they aren't due back for a couple of hours, so...
We're here to see you, actually.
Youngster Ben: ...I see...
BEN used FIDDLE!
BEN FIDDLED with their NECKLACE!
NARRATOR TRIED, alright?!
...Hm.
Solveig Poulsen: Well, do you mind if we pop in for a chat?
Youngster Ben: ...Will you go away faster if I say yes?
Solveig Poulsen: Definitionally so.
Youngster Ben: What's that even meant to mean?
Solveig Poulsen: We'll go away at all after our chat.
Youngster Ben: ...Fine. No PokéBalls in the house.
BEN used GESTURE!
BALL BOX appeared!
...Huh?
Youngster Ben: Either send out all your Pokémon to play and pop the empty balls into the box, or put the occupied balls in there.
...Does your mother know you're asking people to let unknown Pokémon in the house?
Youngster Ben: Look. My brother has... Problems... at the moment and he's getting better but seeing PokéBalls can cause him... Issues... Right now.
SOLVEIG sent out X-WING!
CATHERINE sent out TORCHIC and SASSIE!
...Sure, why not.
Phone, go.
JOANNE sent out PHONE!
Youngster Ben: Thanks.
BEN used OPEN!
BEN opened DOOR!
DOOR appeared!
...Why's there a door inside a door...?
Youngster Ben: Hey, Door. I know you sometimes like to go back to where you used to live, but could you open up and let me... And our guests... back in? Cheers.
Ah.
DOOR used OPEN!
DOOR is fully OPENED!
...
Location: Ben's Lounge
YOUNGSTER BEN appeared!
CATHERINE FENNEL appeared!
SOLVEIG POULSEN appeared!
JOANNE BLOGGS appeared!
ARBOK appeared!
BEN used SCRITCH!
It's super effective!
ARBOK stretched in PLEASURE at the SCRITCH!
...Hm.
Youngster Ben: I'd offer you a drink, but I want you out of here sooner rather than later. What do you want?
We worked out that you're the youngster that helped liberate Johto, and are looking for some help with something... Bigger.
Youngster Ben: Yeah, figured. No. Bye then.
...Any reason for that?
Youngster Ben: Because I'm 8. I shouldn't be bearing the weight of a region, let alone the entire Version. Let. Me. Be. A. Kid.
...
Solveig Poulsen: I take i--
No, he's right.
Youngster Ben: ...Huh?!
The Narrator's scared and it involves the mob. We shouldn't be dragging a kid into this, whatever it is.
Youngster Ben: If you're trying to reverse psych--
I'm not. You're absolutely correct and we'll be on our way. Just, before we go...
Youngster Ben: ...Yeah, figured it wouldn't be that easy to get rid of you.
Oh, it is that easy. Just... We know Team Rocket stole a book on tildes, we know the Narrator is terrified of the contents of that book, and you clearly have already rejected the call before we came... Do you have any info that might help us stop it?
Youngster Ben: ...
No pressure, no obligation. We just have no idea how much of a nightmare we're getting ourselves into...
Youngster Ben: ...Yeah. OK. Sorry, just... I've already basically been forced into rescuing my Pokémon, my Brother, and freaking Johto by circumstance, no adults really helped me, so...
No worries. Any info you can give us would help.
Youngster Ben: Team Rocket are trying to acquire something hugely powerful, something that isn't a Pokémon. I don't know if it's already been caught, or if it's... Well, I suppose wild would be the wrong term since it isn't a Pokémon, or what it is.
...Could they be trying to catch the Narrator?
Youngster Ben: No.
How sure are you?
Youngster Ben: Certain.
Cool. We'll head off, put our Pokémon back in their balls, and get out of your hair.
Location: Pewter City Café
Time: 30 minutes later
Solveig Poulsen: ...What happened in there, we could have used his help and you had no issue recruiting him before we met him.
Catherine Fennel: I'm sure there's a reason for it.
Neither of you noticed?
Catherine Fennel: Noticed what?
The Narrator's been blocking us from meeting him from the start, seemed to care about whether he'd like to meet us or not, was never going to let us knock on his door, and then as soon as he was on the scene it wasn't resisting anything he wanted.
Plus, he didn't want to help.
Solveig Poulsen: ...I can't say I noticed, but when you lay it out like that...
The Narrator's tame for the kid for some reason. We had no chance.
Catherine Fennel: Didn't the Narrator imply it tried to get help from him and failed?
...
...
...Certain about Rocket not trying to catch it, the Narrator came across as almost subservient to him...
Well, that's a terrifying thought.
Catherine Fennel: What is?
I think he knows a way of catching the Narrator.
Solveig Poulsen: The Narrator's being unusually quiet right now.
Narrator LEARNT its LESSON!
What lesson?
To not get involved when YOU THREE are trying to FIGURE ANYTHING OUT involving it!
...His necklace, right?
...
Worth a try.
Solveig Poulsen: I don't think we can rule it out. Neutral silence doesn't mean we're cold, just that the Narrator's... Keeping quiet.
If we keep throwing theories of what Ben has against it, we might be immune from--
BUBBLE TEA wants to fight!
...That.
If you two don't mind, I think I'll take this one myself, see if I can catch it.
Phone, go.
JOANNE sent out PHONE!
BUBBLE TEA used BUBBLE!
BUBBLE TEA wants BOBBLE!
Phone, try bobbing for it, see if it helps?
PHONE used BOB!
PHONE BOBBED for TEA!
It's not very effective!
...Yes, if you interpreted the move that way I don't suppose it would have been...
BUBBLE TEA used TEA!
BUBBLE TEA acquired SHIRT!
Struggling to think of jokes for this, are you?
You try coming up with MATERIAL for BUBBLE TEA!
You decided to make it the Pokémon that attacked, not me.
...
Phone, try taking a photo.
PHONE used PHOTO!
PHONE caught BUBBLE TEA!
Alri--
...On film!
Shoot.
PHONE used SHOOT!
PHONE took more PHOTOS of BUBBLE TEA!
BUBBLE TEA's morale greatly rose!
Hey there Bubble Tea. You want to join us so you can star in more photo shoots snapped by your new buddy, Phone?
BUBBLE TEA does!
PokéBall, go!
JOANNE threw POKéBALL!
BUBBLE TEA was caught!
...
...For real this time!
Thank you.
Catherine Fennel: So, what do we have?
A grammar guide for a tilde, Team Rocket trying to capture - or acquire - something powerful. The Narrator's worried about something - probably this - and forbidden from talking about it? And seems to be in danger of being caught by a Youngster.
Solveig Poulsen: And that Youngster is very sure that Team Rocket isn't trying to catch the Narrator. I think we can deduce that the thing Team Rocket are trying to acquire is more powerful than it, then.
...But what use is knowing how to use tildes in catching a god?
Also, having one annoying god in the world is bad enough, knowing there's at least one other god out there, and that it's more powerful than it is infuriating.
Catherine Fennel: ...Do we know if the tilde is a punctuation mark? Could it instead be the name of the catching device to catch whatever it is that's been or is about to be caught?
Solveig Poulsen: ...I was informed it was a grammar guide, but I suppose it could beboth, or Libby was mistaken.
Narrator - We're trying to, in part, save your ass here, and while you're apparently forbidden from telling us anything, at least you can let on if we hit the bullseye.
NARRATOR... supposes!
So, is Team Rocket trying to acquire a god either with a tilde or held within a tilde?
NARRATOR is not allowed to CONFIRM or DENY!
I thought you were going to play along?
NARRATOR thinks someone should SUGGEST another THEORY!
...Err... Is Team Rocket trying to mind control you?
No!
...I'm not seeing how we're going to get anywhere like this if you're not going to give us information.
Solveig Poulsen: ...No, I think I get it. If we're right it can't confirm or deny it because it's forbidden from talking about it, but if we're not it's not talking about the thing so isn't forbidden from telling us that's not it.
NARRATOR is already BENDING the RULES so would APPRECIATE not being asked anything ELSE!
I... I think we're done. We just need to figure out which Team Rocket members are going to be sent on the mission so we can trail them. Presumably, they'll head out from that Game Corner everyone knows they run?