When we last saw Sam, they escaped the basement Bill had them trapped within. They have since had one thing on their mind - Revenge.
Battle 126: A Ghost of a Chance
Published: 27/07/24
Location: Goldenrod Noodles
Player: Mail Carrier Sam (4-0-1)
Those noodles were delightful.
What else...
NARRATOR thinks SAM has a DOCTOR's appointment!
Of course. Oh, I need to cancel this week's TTRPG session because those overlap.
And then there's that other thing I have.
E-MAIL appeared!
I'll read it.
E-mail: Dear Notaf A. Ken-Ame.
E-mail: You have been accepted for the next stage in the process of applying to Bill Enterprises as a test subject. Bill will interview you personally to ensure you're sound of mind and body. The interview will be tomorrow at 2pm.
E-mail: Thanks, Bill.
Perfect.
...Also that is ludicrously short notice for the interview stage. He's even bad at running experiments on actual volunteers.
Good job my job has really good healthcare, letting me take all this time off to recover from being trapped in a room having been kidnapped for so long.
Time: 1:59pm Tomorrow
Location: Bill Enterprises Conference Room
...Weird that the secretary asked me to wait in here.
Also that there are no other candidates...
Too SHORT NOTICE!
BILL appeared!
Bill: Hi, sorry, I'm new at interviewing people, and since you're the only person who turned up I thought I'd interv... You.
Hello again.
So nice to be able to put a face to a name and voice after all this time.
BILL ra--
Rusty, go.
SAM sent out RUSTY!
BILL couldn't escape!
You left me to die.
Bill: I was going to come back after figuring out a way to extract you without the Gengar escaping.
And yet I had to extract myself.
Bill: I got distracted!
You haven't even asked how long it took me to get out.
Bill: ...Oh. Right. Pleasantries. Sorry.
Bill: How are you doing, nice to see you escaped the clutches of the Gengar, sorry for abandoning you but that thing is terrifying.
Who said I escaped the Gengar?
Bill: Huh?
Gengar, go.
Bill: You can't send out two Pokémon!
SAM sent out GENGAR!
You know as well as I do that the Narrator is very liberal with the rules unless it thinks it would be funnier to be hyper strict about them.
Besides which, we're not currently battling.
Just a friendly chat between friends.
BILL is CLAWING at the WINDOWS and DOORS to get out!
...Rude.
Bill: Get it away from me!
You never did say what you were afraid of it doing to you.
Bill: I don't want a second shadow!
Don't worry. Gengar doesn't want that anymore.
BILL collapses to FLOOR in RELIEF!
Bill: Thanks for taking care of that problem for me.
Gengar wants the same thing from you as I do now.
Bill: ...And what's that?
We both want our revenge on you for sealing us in a room with very limited food supplies and no toilet.
It took a month before Rusty here found us to break us out. Gengar nearly ran out of Ghost type Pokémon food.
Bill: ...You'll never take me alive!
I don't think Gengar intends to.
BILL's panicked look returns!
BILL wants to fight!
BILL sent out VAPOREON and JOLTEON!
What was that about sending two Pokémon out being against the rules? No matter. Two on two suits me fine.
Rusty, use that dig TM I taught you. Gengar, I know you're living to do this - Curse on Bill.
RUSTY used DIG
RUSTY dug a hole!
CONFERENCE ROOM is RUINED!
VAPOREON used HYDRO CANNON!
VAPOREON's attack missed!
CONFERENCE ROOM is in EVEN WORSE SHAPE!
GENGAR used CURSE!
GENGAR cut own HEALTH in half!
BILL is inflicted by the CURSE!
JOLTEON used THUNDERSHOCK!
GENGAR is in critical condition!
BILL took damage from the curse!
Hyper potion on Gengar.
SAM used HYPER POTION!
GENGAR is fighting fit!
RUSTY used DIG!
CONFERENCE ROOM is MORE HOLES than FLOOR!
CONFERENCE ROOM is also still PARTIALLY FLOODED!
JOLTEON fainted!
BILL sent out FLAREON!
VAPOREON used HYDRO PUMP!
VAPOREON pumped WATER!
It doesn't do much to repair CONFERENCE ROOM!
FLAREON retreated back inside POKéBALL due to WATER in ENVIRONMENT!
BILL took damage from the curse!
Rusty, Swallow Whole. Gengar, Dark Pulse.
RUSTY used SWALLOW WHOLE!
Rusty: I feed on you.
RUSTY had a nice REFRESHING DRINK of VAPOREON!
VAPOREON died!
Bill: You... You killed my Pokémon?!
I wasn't expecting it to be that effective.
Besides. You left me to starve to death in a basement, remember? You don't have room to talk moral superiority here.
GENGAR used DARK PULSE!
BILL is in critical condition!
I guess this is goodbye.
Bill: ...What do you... What do you mean?
BILL fainted from the curse!
Gengar: Gengar gengar.
I'll miss you too, but we both knew this was a temporary arrangement until we had our revenge on Bill.
You're free to go.
SAM released GENGAR!
Rusty, return.
SAM withdrew RUSTY!
Gengar: Gen Gengar gengar?
Nah. I figure I owe it to myself to watch. To acknowledge the consequences of my actions, rather than... Leaving it abstract in my head. Where I can pretend I didn't have a hand in his death like he would have done had we not gotten out before I starved to death.
GENGAR used POSSESS!
GENGAR took over BILL!
Bill: you have a stronger stomach than most of the living
Not sure that's a compliment.
Bill: well said
GENGAR used WAKE!
GENGAR woke BILL!
GENGAR used WALK!
BILL walked towards WINDOW!
BILL used TERRIED scream!
GENGAR used STEP!
BILL took FINAL STEP!
BILL used FALL!
...
...
...See you in hell, Bill, because I'm pretty sure after what I just did I'm going to be joining you there.
When we last saw Pikagrant, he was building a new home for himself with the Narrator's help. He seems to have finished furnishing his home with modern amenities such as tables, and is now about to greet his new neighbours.
Battle 127: Apple Appeal
Published: 03/08/24
Location: Pikagrant's Cabin
Player: Pikagrant (2-2-3)
...OK. There. Everything's installed just like humans apparently like it, in an area walled off from the rest of the cabin.
PIKAGRANT's GUESTS will appreciate it!
Yeah, good job I managed this before they arrive.
PIKAGRANT has already mastered the HUMAN skill of GETTING things done LAST MINUTE!
Thanks.
...I think...
When do they arrive again?
PIKAGRANT still has a couple of HOURS!
Right! Need to prepare food for them... Was going with the baked apples with mushrooms.
PIKAGRANT used PREPARE!
But PIKAGRANT isn't BAKING PEARS!
PIKAGRANT's attack failed!
...Very funny.
NARRATOR thought so!
Going to chop the mushrooms now.
PIKAGRANT used KARATE CHOP!
MUSHROOMS were fully CHOPPED!
PIKAGRANT's paw is SORE!
I... Don't think that's how that was meant to go, but I guess it worked.
Coring the apples comes next, I think?
PIKAGRANT used CORE!
Most APPLES were FULLY CORED!
Most?
One APPLE was HARDCORE!
By which you mean...?
HARD to CORE!
...
One APPLE was renamed APPLIN!
...Hey, bud. If you want to leave I think I've got enough apples for my guests. We really don't have to--
APPLIN doesn't want to leave!
APPLIN wants to fight!
...Of course it does.
APPLIN sent out APPLIN!
I send myself out.
PIKAGRANT sent out PIKAGRANT!
Thundershock.
APPLIN used ASTONISH!
PIKAGRANT is still ASTONISHED there was an APPLIN in their APPLES!
APPLIN bit PIKAGRANT in the surprise!
...Ow!
PIKAGRANT flinched!
...Oh it's like that is it?
Quick attack.
APPLIN used ASTONISH!
Quick attack's meant to always go first!
PIKAGRANT attacked ASTONISHINGLY quickly!
Thank you.
...Waitasecond...
PIKAGRANT flinched!
APPLIN bit PIKAGRANT in the surprise!
I'm going to attack in the most flatly unremarkable way imaginable.
PIKAGRANT used BORING ATTACK!
APPLIN used ASTONISH!
BORING COMPANY is ASTONISHINGLY obvious CON!
PIKAGRANT flinched!
APPLIN bit PIKAGRANT in the surprise!
...You're biased.
PIKAGRANT used ACCUSATION of BIAS!
APPLIN used ASTONISH!
NARRATOR is ASTONISHED PIKAGRANT took this long to FIGURE that out!
NARRATOR flinched!
...
APPLIN bit NARRATOR in the surprise!
Ow!
APPLIN used ASTONISH!
NARRATOR is ASTONISHED that was even PHYSICALLY possible!
NARRATOR flinched!
...
APPLIN bit NARRATOR in the surprise!
It feels like I should be saying attacks but doing absolutely nothing seems more effective?
Listen here APPLIN!
NARRATOR is a GOD and you are a WORM with DELUSIONS of GRANDEUR!
...Delusions of grandeur?
It claims to be a DRAGON!
...Like, as in the type or does it just cosplay as one at conventions?
The TYPE!
APPLIN used ASTONISH!
NARRATOR is ASTONISHED that APPLIN has the AUDACITY to not show FEAR at having ANGRED NARRATOR!
NARRATOR flinched!
...
APPLIN bit NARRATOR in its surprise!
NARRATOR used SMITE!
APPLIN was hit by NARRATOR's WRATH!
It's super effective!
APPLIN died!
...I'm astonished you didn't go with the smitey effective pun that was right there
NARRATOR used GLARE!
...meep...
Pulverised APPLIN remains contaminated CORED APPLES and CHOPPED MUSHROOMS!
...Eh, the cooking process should sanitize any pathogens. That's the point of it, right?
NARRATOR is ASTONISHED!
NARRATOR flinched!
...
Dragon type, you said? I'll just say it's lightly spiced.
Time: One Getting To Know You Party Later
...They seemed weirded out by my appearance.
That was KIND OF to be expected!
Yeah, but the anthropomorphic mouse also feeling that way?
PIKAGRANT is SOMETHING NEW!
They did like the baked apples, though.
And one of them is going to hire me to teach their kids how to surf, so... Source of money, whatever that's for. Humans seem to like it, so presumably it's important.
GRANTCHU APPARITION appeared!
...What the?!
Grantchu? Is that really you?
Grantchu Apparition: Afraid not, bud. I'm just an echo from the core.
...An echo?
Grantchu Apparition: From the core.
...An echo.
Grantchu Apparition: Heh. From the core.
NARRATOR is running out of PATIENCE so if the two of you could GET ON with whatever this is!
Otherwise NARRATOR just learnt it enjoys SMITING and might decide to PRACTICE its new HOBBY!
Grantchu apparition: ...It seems testier than I remember.
A worm that was also a dragon bit it earlier. Repeatedly.
So if you're just an echo, what are you?
Grantchu Apparition: ...Think of me as a holographic video call, I guess?
Grantchu Apparition: Or a projected version of a Second Life avatar. But matching how I actually look rather than an idealized version of myself. And wearing pants.
...Still don't see the point of those.
Grantchu Apparition: ...I... Guess they always were more of a human specific thing?
So... I'm talking to Grantchu, even if you're not really here?
Grantchu Apparition: Yeah. Finally figured out how to get the call function on this device working.
Grantchu Apparition: Watched your dinner party. You did great.
You think so?
Wait. Watched it?
Grantchu Apparition: Yeah. I've got a 3d virtual environment version of the entire version in real time in here. Patrol it for glitches and bugs, and zap 'em
NARRATOR would like a WORD!
Grantchu Apparition: ...Is it about the Alphabetical Order?
The UNKNOWN UNOWN yes!
Grantchu Apparition: They don't even register on this thing.
Grantchu Apparition: Like I'm looking into negative space.
Grantchu Apparition: Six buildings I can't quite see...
The SAFE HOUSES!
Grantchu: What I think might have been some sort of giant mech you were talking to about a week ago...
Oh, FINALLY someone else who gets it!
Grantchu: ...Huh?
Only SEEING what isn't there and it's IMPACT on REALITY!
Grantchu Apparition: Oh, like that blue book leading to the Tilde was for you? I get what you meant now, yeah.
Grantchu Apparition: Yeah, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to have any impact on them, sorry.
WORTH an ASK!
...So... Err... When can you come back?
Grantchu Apparition: ...I think I'm stuck here permanently, sorry.
But...
Grantchu Apparition: Now I've figured out the call function I can keep in touch, though!
Grantchu Apparition: Like penpals. But less writing and more conversation.
...Right.
...That will be... Better...
Grantchu Apparition: ...Yeah.
GRANTCHU APPARITION used HUG!
But GRANTTCHU APPARITION is a HOLOGRAPHIC PROJECTION!
It doesn't affect PIKAGRANT!
Pikagrant Apparition: ...Sorry...
...
...
...Thanks for trying.
Pikagrant Apparition: Oh. Err. Beeping. Beeping usually means bad stuff I need to fix. I swear it's like a cowboy constructed this Version. Got to dash. I'll be sure to get in touch later this week when you're not busy.
I'll look forward to it.
Pikagrant Apparition: Keep on living your life for me, bud.
Will do, bud.
PIKAGRANT APPARITION disappeared!
...
...
...I miss you...
A couple of weeks ago, Sam helped Gengar kill Bill. Now we join Sam as they're on their rounds in their job as a mail carrier.
Battle 128: A Look At The Law
Published: 10/08/24
Location: Cherrygrove City
Player: Mail Carrier Sam 5-0-1
Ok. Just need to finish this road then I can head on home.
LOOKER appeared!
...And the Narrator is throwing obstacles at me. I figured it would be easier on my first day back from my recuperation leave.
Looker: Excuse me, Tiz. I'm from the International Police, am investigating the unfortunate passing away of the famed scientist Bill. Just dotting all the i's and crossing all the t's, you understand, and believe you might have been the last person to see him alive?
...In that I saw him jump from a window during a scheduled meeting with him, yes.
Looker: Ah. Yes. That would be it. And you are sure you saw him jump?
...Absolutely sure, yes.
Looker: That must have been hard for you. I'd have thought any decent employer would have given you more than a fortnight of recuperation leave from that.
Oh, no, it happened while I was on recuperation leave. They offered to extend it, but...
Looker: You wanted to get back to work?
Exactly.
Looker: Even though you were at a job interview very recently?
...Are you going somewhere with this?
Looker: It just seems a bit unusual to me, Tiz, to attend a job interview, experience something traumatic during it, and then... Resume your prior job extremely quickly without extending the trauma leave you were already on.
...I can see how that would appear unusual, yes, except it wasn't for a permanent position I was interviewing. I was interviewing as a test subject for his teleportation devices.
Looker: Ah. That would explain it. Before he died, did he strike you as unusual in any way, Tiz?
Only in that he seemed extraordinarily afraid of ghosts. Gengars specifically.
Looker: I see.
I need to get back to my rounds.
Looker: Thank you for your time.
LOOKER turned to leave!
...That is really weird phrasing from you.
Looker: Just one more thing...
...And that explains it.
Looker: We found two empty Pokéball cases from released Pokémon. One was identified as containing his Vaporeon.
An unfortunate accident in the battle led to her death.
Looker: These things happen. The other seemed to have previously contained a Gengar. Seemingly you used to own the ball?
...I used to train a Gengar, yes.
Looker: Thank you for confirming that, Tiz.
Looker: Oh, by the way. We did hear of two Ghost type Pokémon being spotted outside his tower just following his death. A Gastly and... What was the other one? Oh yes. A Gengar. Funny coincidence, that.
...I'm sure it was.
Looker: I'll be off.
LOOKER left the scene!
...Well, if it isn't the consequences of my actions...
Location: Cherrygrove Cafe
As always, the food here is delightful.
LOOKER appeared!
...Yeah I figured you'd show up again.
Looker: Good afternoon, Tiz. Mind if I join you?
I doubt I could dissuade you. Any progression on... Whatever it is you're actually investigating considering how Bill died?
Looker: Thanks. Some. Small amounts here and there.
Good to know. By the by, the cheese and onion pie here is exquisite. And the price for it is ludicrously low.
Looker: I'll be sure to keep that in mind, Tiz. I just have a couple of questions.
I doubted you being here was a coincidence.
Looker: What was the event that caused you to take leave?
I was kidnapped and locked in a basement for around a month.
Looker: That sounds horrible. How did you escape?
A wall monster cut the electrification on the door.
Looker: I see. I don't suppose you know who kidnapped you?
I do. It was Bill.
Looker: Ah.
I am aware that gives me motive for his death. Except... He wasn't defenestrated. We both know that.
Looker: Indeed he wasn't.
Looker: I've visited the basement you were trapped in, by the by.
Uh huh.
Looker: Tiz, is there anything you think I should know?
In what way?
Looker: Well, at the moment it looks mighty suspicious that you went for a job interview with the guy who kidnapped you. I was just wondering if you had some information I'm missing that explains it.
...
...
...I caught my Gengar in that basement.
Looker: And then released it in the office? Was he alive when you released your Gengar?
And fainted following our battle.
Looker: Did you--
Know that Gengars are capable of possessing humans in some circumstances? Yes.
Looker: ...
Were you hoping for a game of Meowth and Pikachu, officer?
Looker: That's kind of how these things usually go, Tiz.
Honestly, I'm kind of glad you came.
Looker: How so?
Because I feel sick every time I look in the mirror.
Looker: ...Guilt?
Yeah. He left me trapped in a basement with that Gengar to die. And yet... I...
Looker: ...Killed him?
I didn't order my Pokémon to kill him if that's what you mean.
But... Morally? I knew what was going to happen when I released that Gengar.
Looker: ...Because of what he did to you?
...I waited until Gengar caused him to step out of his window before I left.
Looker: Why?
Because I didn't want it abstracted in my head.
I wanted to know what I'd done.
Because I wanted to prove I was better than he was.
Looker: Better, how?
He left me to die in a way he could leave it abstracted. Pretend I was still alive in his head.
I... Wanted to face what I was doing.
Looker: I see, Tiz.
Looker: ...I wish you'd have come to me rather than taking care of this yourself.
So you could what? Cover up my kidnapping? I'm just some random mail carrier. Bill's the creator of the Pokémon storage system and is currently working on teleportation without warp panels.
Looker: ...
Looker: ...
Looker: ...Finish your food, Tiz.
Am I under arrest?
Looker: Well, legally speaking you didn't murder him.
Looker: And morally there's a whole can of worms going on there.
I sense there's a but coming.
Looker: But I'm pretty sure there's something on the books that covers what you did. Depending on the details it could be anything from reckless endangerment to conspiracy to murder.
...He left the Gengar to... Whatever the equivalent of die is for a ghost... as well.
Looker: The Gengar's motivation was revenge as well?
Yeah.
Looker: Was there any mind control of you involved?
...How would I know?
Looker: Fair point.
Looker: Finish your food, then I'm going to have to take you in. I'll see to it you get some heavy duty therapy while we figure out what you're even on trial for.
...Would you have covered it up had I come to you?
Looker: To me, no. To most of the Officer Jenny's in the region? That's probably what would have happened, yeah.
When last we saw Maria, Shadow had contacted her parents to let them know where she was, quickly coming to the conclusion that she'd run away to see him. Hearing the circumstances, they let her stay with Shadow so that she could spend time with the necromantic clone of herself while making their way to pick her up.
Battle 129: Twins and Parents
Published: 17/08/24
Location: Shadow's House
Player: Lass Maria (5-4-3)
Thanks for teaching me these. I think my parents are picking me up today, but... We should keep in touch.
Beth: i'd like that
Beth: you're really good at world building
I just watched some online videos about it, it's nothing.
DOORBELL used RING!
...That'll be them, I guess.
SHADOW used ANSWER!
MONTY and MOLLY appeared!
Shadow: Hi.
MONTY used GLANCE!
MONTY glanced at two FRIENDS who clearly want to spend MORE TIME TOGETHER!
Dad Monty: Maria. Beth, was it?
Beth: that's right
Hi Dad. Mum.
I came to reassure Shadow that my death wasn't his fault and... Made a new friend?
Well, twin sister I guess, but...
Dad Monty: ...Goddamnit. You two go... Play wherever the two of you have been playing for the past month. I apparently have something I need to discuss with Beth's... Father?
Dad Shadow: One of them, yeah. Tails couldn't get the time off from work, sadly.
MARIA and BETH went off to PLAY!
Player: Dad Shadow (5-4-5)
Honestly, this would have felt less awkward if at least Tails was able to do the talking here, if not being here in my place.
Dad Monty: Look, I'm never going to like you considering how your daughter came to exist...
...I wouldn't have contacted you had your daughter not shown up on my doorstep.
Dad Monty: ...Let me finish.
Sorry.
Dad Monty: But looking at your... Daughter... And how clear it is that she's become close friends with mine. I think I'm going to have to learn to tolerate your presence.
Can't say I'm looking forward to spending more time with the two of you considering our last meeting ended with you sending a mob after us to burn down all our property, but... I think both Maria and Beth will be thrilled.
Dad Monty: You're not making it easy to tolerate your existence. You know exactly why we did that.
Sorry. Yeah. My grief over losing another Maria I grew to know led me to mild necromancy and mind control over my friends. I get why you did it, I just... Still a sore point, you know?
What I meant to say was that I'm happy to try and tolerate your existence for Beth's sake as well.
Mum Molly: Likewise. Everyone's emotions were... High... Last time we met. Hopefully, the three of us will get off on a better foot this time.
How many months before you let Maria contact... Anyone... Outside of home and school?
Mum Molly: Two weeks. We decided that clearly, her experience of dying and coming back to life had done a number on her mind so we chose leniency.
...Shockingly so, considering she ran away and came to another region only leaving you a note.
Mum Molly: ...We're aware. But... The Narrator talked us into it.
...Weird.
How much violence was involved?
Dad Monty: Shockingly, none.
...The Narrator has been acting really weird lately.
...NARRATOR is TRYING to INTERFERE less and accept LESS VIOLENT solutions to PROBLEMS!
Exactly, what's up?
A THREAT to SANDY's EXISTENCE that got WEIRDLY PERSONAL caused NARRATOR to REFLECT UPON itself!
Is that why you disappeared for about a week?
No!
DIFFERENT THREAT!
Over now!
...Did either of you know anything about this?
Dad Monty: Nope.
Mum Molly: News to us.
...Somehow that threats to the existence of Sandy sometimes go unnoticed by us mortals is... Not reassuring.
Would SHADOW, MONTY, and MOLLY prefer to know EVERY LITTLE EXISTENTIAL CRISES?!
...If it impacts my existence, kinda?
Dad Monty: ...Yeah, I'd prefer to know what might be killing me next week as well.
Mum Molly: Honestly, same.
If SHADOW, MONTY, and MOLLY must know SANDY is currently in PREPARATIONS for an attack from an UNKNOWN quantity of UNOWN that collectively MIGHT be more powerful than NARRATOR and which NARRATOR doesn't know WHEN they'll attack!
...
Dad Monty: ...
Mum Molly: ...Maybe we shouldn't have asked...
...So, suddenly two weeks is sounding a bit harsh to me despite what she put you two through?
Mum Molly: Maybe we should call the punishment off entirely? Give them more time to play together before...?
Dad Monty: ...Yeah, doesn't sound like Sandy will survive that one if the threat's more powerful than the Narrator.
Honestly, given how competent the Narrator isn't, I'd argue half as powerful as the Narrator would screw us all.
Oi!
NARRATOR is HERE!
NARRATOR can HEAR!
We know. However much we may wish neither of those two things applied, believe me. We know.
A plan - of sorts - has emerged to save the version from the Alphabetical Order's Unknown Unown. But who might be up for the task of destroying the Safe Houses?
Battle 130: A Puzzling Recruitment Drive
Published: 24/08/24
Location: Solveig's Study
Player: Solveig Poulsen (8-1-2)
And place the final nine...
SOLVEIG used PLACE!
SOLVEIG solved SUDOKU!
I don't know why you always narrate that so definitively.
It's not like there aren't more than I could ever solve in a lifetime due to how many people make them.
...Even before I stopped being quite as good at pure logic thanks to the influence of the Gosslords.
Speaking of, let's see what awaits me in my favourite source of Unovan style crosswords...
NARRATOR would like to TALK!
About what?
SOLVEIG remembers the SAFE HOUSE?!
Yeah. Still not been able to figure out what that thing even is. Fascinating stuff. The material composition indicates it was created outside of Sandy Version. Same material as the net that Red was trapped inside.
NARRATOR needs SOLVEIG to help it DESTROY them!
...Why me?
Because they're MYSTERIOUS!
Because SOLVEIG has a LUDICROUSLY STRONG 8-1-2 RECORD!
Because the VERSION will be rendered UNINHABITABLE to KNOWN LIFE via a process of ALPHABETIZATION if SOLVEIG doesn't!
...Actually, NARRATOR isn't sure if it would make it UNINHABITABLE but it sounds UNREADABLE!
Because NARRATOR wants to RESCUE the TRAINERS trapped in the DOMAIN accessed via the NET and as such NEEDS someone it can TRUST and who can SOLVE a SUDOKU!
...You want me to fold the net.
Exactly!
And how do I get back when I do so?
POKéBALLS apparently can recall from BEYOND the FABRIC of REALITY!
...OK, first problem with that - I'm not a Pokémon.
Second problem with that - I do not like the word apparently in a plan that puts me in a domain that you're describing as people needing rescuing from.
EVERYONE is a POKéMON!
There have been SEVERAL instances of HUMANS being captured in POKéBALLS!
Sometimes TEMPORARY!
Sometimes LONG TERM!
YOUNGSTER BEN is keeping themself inside their own SNAG BALL to prevent being CAPTURED by someone else on ACCIDENT or on PURPOSE!
...Or at least they were before they ran away from NARRATOR like a COWARD having gone back on their WORD and captured NARRATOR!
...Joanne mentioned something about thinking he was involved in your disappearing act during the Gosslord outbreak, but I scarcely believed it.
NARRATOR doesn't like TALKING about it!
...So I need to... What, exactly?
Get CAPTURED!
Fold the NET!
Destroy the SAFE HOUSES!
CAPTURE the PRISONERS!
Get RECALLED!
...In that order?
Some of it is in a STRICT order but the DESTRUCTION of the SAFE HOUSES just has to happen after the NET is FOLDED!
...I'm not great at destruction.
...
...
NARRATOR knows a YOUNGSTER who is!
...NARRATOR used MUMBLE!
I didn't catch that.
NARRATOR would rather SOLVEIG never does!
...Goddamn the Gosslord experience leaves me wanting gossip way too much.
I'll do it if you tell me what you mumbled.
ENTIRE VERSION at STAKE!
Could SOLVEIG do less ASKING for PAYMENT and more ENLIGHTENED SELF INTEREST!
The entire version's at stake. Meaning you're as desperate for this to work as I am.
Fine!
Who NARRATOR kindasorta probably owes an APOLOGY to!
Alright?!
...You're admitting you made a mistake?
NARRATOR... has had a LOT to think about lately!
...I need to contact Joanne and ask her to... Capture me, I guess?
Get the youngster to meet me at one of the safe houses when I arrange with Joanne to meet me there as well.
NARRATOR thinks the SAFE HOUSES are linked!
...So we need to set up their destruction to happen simultaneously?
NARRATOR thinks so!
...We have to act fast.
When can I meet with this youngster of yours?
SOLVEIG already has!
The only youngster I've... Oh. Ben. Yeah. I think Joanne mentioned him helping with some destruction.
...NARRATOR isn't sure how QUICKLY BEN will be able to RETURN!
...If BEN is even WILLING to trust NARRATOR!
...So our plan is contingent on... A youngster outside of your fog of influence, who has reason to not trust you?
Exactly!
...Well it's been a nice life. Still. Try, and I'll see if I can come up with a plan B.