When last we saw Lass Maria she either snuck out or ran away from home, depending on if you believe her or Raticate (and the Narrator) about the event. Either way, she's been away for a few weeks now. Let's see how things have been going for her.
Battle 116: Ticket to Ride
Published: 11/05/24
Location: Saffron City Train Station Ticket Booth
Player: Lass Maria (4-4-1)
RAILWORKER AUBREY appeared!
I'd like to buy a ticket to Johto, please.
Railworker Aubrey: ...How old are you, even, kid?
...Old enough to be on a Pokémon journey.
Railworker Aubrey: Yeah. But you're talking interregional travel here. It's one thing to traipse around Kanto without parental supervision, it's another to leave the region. Scram.
...
...
...Right.
Location: Saffron City Pokémon Center
Thankfully it's easy to pretend to be on a Pokémon journey with my age, so I can eat free here.
RATICATE wonders if it's time for PLAN B!
...No, I don't think we're desperate enough to buy a trench coat and pretend to be an adult yet.
Also since you'd be riding on top of my head, I'm not entirely sure how the talking half of that plan is going to go.
RATICATE wonders what's next!
Well, if we can't buy a ticket ourselves...
We just need to find someone to buy it for us.
GAMBLER RICH appeared!
...You up for pretending to be my loyal Pokémon for another battle?
RATICATE nods!
Cool. Time to make eye contact.
MARIA used FORCED EYE CONTACT!
RICH used OBLIVIOUS GAZE!
RICH somehow managed to AVOID all attempts at FORCING EYE CONTACT!
...Maybe after they get their Pokémon healed?
NURSE JOY appeared!
NURSE JOY used HEAL!
NURSE JOY healed RICH's POKéMON to full health!
NURSE JOY disappeared!
Attempt number two.
MARIA used STAND in MIDDLE of ROOM!
RICH used WANDER to RANDOM CORNER!
RICH WANDERED to out of the way CORNER waiting to impart OBVIOUS ADVICE to PROTAGONIST TYPES!
...Hm...
Maybe if I just walk up to them and say nothing, then?
...
MARIA used SILENCE!
Gambler Rich: I like to heal my Pokémon whenever I get a chance.
...
MARIA's attack continued!
Gambler Rich: I like to heal my Pokémon whenever I get a chance.
...
MARIA's attack continued!
Gambler Rich: I like to heal my Pokémon whenever I get a chance.
Gambler Rich: Kid, I only get paid for a single line of dialogue. You've heard all I have to say, it's going to go better for both of us if you skedaddle.
...I'm trying to make eye contact with you here!
RICH used JUMP!
Gambler Rich: Are you trying to give me a heart attack pretending to be a protagonist type and then talking like that?!
Gambler Rich: And why are you trying to make eye--
Gambler Rich: Oh, you want a battle with me?
Gambler Rich: I have a lunch break in 4 hours. Meet me outside then.
Time: 4 hours later
Location: Saffron City Pokémon Center (Exterior)
GAMBLER RICH appeared!
RICH wants to fight!
Can we establish stakes first?
Gambler Rich: We're not playing for 10% of our cash on hand?
...I need to get a train ticket for me and Raticate and the person working the ticket booth won't sell one to me.
Gambler Rich: ...You running away?
What's it to you?
Gambler Rich: That'd be a yes, then.
...The Narrator thinks I am, but I'm planning on coming back. How'd you know?
Gambler Rich: Pokémon Journeys are typically within one region, and the only train that stops here only does interregional travel.
...Fair.
Gambler Rich: Sure. But since you wanted a custom stake, how about we play for all of what you have on hand.
That's way too much.
Gambler Rich: Pretty sure what you're having me do if I lose is illegal. 75% is as low as I can go.
25%
Gambler Rich: What are you running away from?
I need to make sure someone knows I don't blame him for what happened, my parents wouldn't approve of the journey.
Gambler Rich: So nothing... Bad... At home?
...Well the Narrator kept dumping meat on me, if that's what you mean?
Gambler Rich: The fact you have no clue what I'm talking about means you're safe to head back.
Oh. Yeah, why?
Gambler Rich: 50% of what you have on you and you go home - and don't run away again unless circumstances change to make doing so necessary - if I win.
...
...
...Raticate, you got this?
RATICATE agrees!
Done.
RICH sent out GROWLITHE!
Raticate, go!
MARIA sent out RATICATE!
Super fang.
GROWLITHE used FIRE FANG!
RATICATE used SUPER FANG!
RATICATE and GROWLITHE compared FANGS!
RATICATE thinks GROWLITHE's FANGS are FIRE!
GROWLITHE thinks RATICATE's FANGS are SUPER!
...Maybe while it's distracted, try a sucker punch?
RATICATE used SUCKER PUNCH!
RATICATE gave an UNEXPECTED PUNCH to GROWLITHE's FANGS with its TEENY TINY ARMS!
GROWLITHE fainted!
RATICATE took damage from the POINTY BITS of GROWLITHE's FANGS!
...I'd criticize your choice of language, but honestly, what else are you meant to call that?
RICH sent out VULPIX!
Crunch.
VULPIX used SPITE!
RATICATE tried to enforce CRUNCH CONDITIONS on VULPIX!
VULPIX quit BATTLE out of SPITE!
VULPIX retreated to its POKéBALL!
RICH is out of usable POKéMON!
MARIA wins!
...Well... A win's a win...
Gambler Rich: ...Pretty sure I have the moral victory there, but... OK. I'll buy you your train tickets after my shift. Meet me out here in six hours for me to give it to you. Tell no one.
Sure.
NARRATOR wonders if RICH is interested in BRIBING NARRATOR into TELLING NO ONE!
...I thought you were done with interfering.
RICH doesn't know that!
Gambler Rich: Except the two of you just told me.
Fine!
Time: 7 Hours Later
Location: Kanto to Johto Bullet Train
CONDUCTOR CAROL appeared!
Conductor Carol: Tickets please.
Here.
Conductor Carol: My, you're awfully young to be taking an interregional train ride alone.
I'm... Staying with my grandfather for a few weeks?
MARIA used LIE!
It's not very effective!
Conductor Carol: ...Really? What's his name?
...Rich?
Conductor Carol: You don't seem all that sure of that
I normally call him Grandpa.
Remembering what adults call him can be tricky.
CAROL still seems SUSPICIOUS!
Conductor Carol: ...Narrator, this legit?
NARRATOR is trying to use CUT on its INTERFERENCE!
Conductor Carol: ...
...
Conductor Carol: ...Eh, you've got tickets. You answered my questions. The Narrator hasn't told me you're lying. Anything else is above my pay grade.
When we last saw Sam, they were trapped in a basement with a Gengar and a lot of Pokémon food. And while the food that Sam can eat most of the food available, Gengar's food supply is starting to run out.
Battle 117: Caught up in a Rescue
Published: 18/05/24
Location: Cabin O'Doom (Basement)
Player: Mail Carrier Sam (3-0-1)
Hey, Gengar, you think you can skip a meal today?
...The Ghost Type Pokémon food is running out and...
...I'm kinda worried about what happens to me when it runs out.
GENGAR would prefer not to EAT its only COMPANY!
Exactly.
GENGAR would also prefer not to have a BIOLOGICAL ROOMMATE!
...Yes. I am aware there is no toilet in here. Horrifically aware. I have to smell it as well.
GENGAR wonders how SAM thinks about spending the remaining MONTHS of SAM's FOOD SUPPLY ALONE!
Not great, why? Have you found a way for you to exit?
GENGAR is starting to consider letting SAM capture it so it doesn't need to EAT!
...Well it's better than you eating me, but I'd prefer we wait until your food source runs out for that.
GENGAR would prefer the lack of SMELL from the INSIDE of a POKéBALL!
Can you hold out a couple of days?
GENGAR supposes!
???: Something smells awful over here.
...And now I'm hearing things. Because that didn't sound like it came from the PA system...
RUSTY manifested!
...GAH!
RUSTY shorted out POWER SUPPLY!
BASEMENT went dark!
And now I can't see.
GENGAR can see JUST FINE!
Rusty: Sorry about that!
Rusty: My new neighbours encouraged me to go explore the surrounding area.
Rusty: I think they want to give their daughter some chemistry lessons in their basement without risking me turning up.
Wait. The power went out?
Rusty: Sometimes when I manifest I accidentally do so on the top of a power cord, shorting the mains out in the process.
Brilliant!
I might be able to pick the lock!
Rusty: ...Are you two trapped in here?
Yes! Your arrival is a real life saver!
Can you get me some light?
GENGAR used EVIL EYE!
GENGAR's EYES glowed an OMINOUS RED!
...Ordinarily, that would be terrifying, but under the circumstances, I'll take it.
SAM used LOCKPICK!
No effect!
Aww.
SAM lacks the PICKAXE to use to PICK the LOCK!
Narrator, could you work with me here?
Rusty: The door looks metallic...
Yeah, why?
RUSTY used RUST BREATH!
SHELF collapsed from SCREWS RUSTING!
DOOR COLLAPSED from RUST!
We're free!
Cannot escape!
What now?!
Rusty: Sorry, that one's my fault.
Rusty: You see, I'm a wall monster. We have an eminence that prevents leaving while we're here, and I can't leave until I feed.
...There's a lot of Pokémon food here. You look Rock type... Maybe Ground? I didn't get started on that stuff while trapped here. I stuck with the Normal type food for the most part, while Gengar was eating the Ghost type.
Rusty: I... Don't think Pokémon food counts, but I'll give it a shot...
RUSTY used FEED!
RUSTY aimed for ROCK TYPE POKéMON FOOD BAG!
RUSTY's attack missed!
RUSTY's attack kept going and crashed...
I... Am uncomfortable with where this is going considering how big Rusty is...
...Into IMPROVISED TOILET!
Rusty: RUSTY used SPIT!
Rusty: Gross!
Critical hit!
SAM is covered in their own WASTE!
...Ewwww...
Rusty: I... I don't think that... Counts...
Rusty: And please get one of these right because I'd rather not have to eat you considering what you're coated in right now.
One of... What... Right?
Rusty: Three riddles have I, truth is what I seek.
Rusty: One truth will pass you on. Two may aid you. Three commands me. Fail all three and I feed on you.
...
RUSTY wants to QUIZ!
Rusty: The Army of the Numberless Bird is prophesized to emerge to wage war on Sandy Version from which settlement?
...Oh!
This seems so much more FAIR now that NARRATOR knows the ANSWER to this one!
...Are you going to help?
NARRATOR is trying to go EASY on the INTERFERENCE lately!
Hence why NARRATOR left you TRAPPED here for these past FEW WEEKS!
...Right.
Gengar, any clue?
GENGAR does not!
...Well I'd rather cheat than die. Eating excrement probably counts as the poisoned status condition so... Hopefully this will work. PokéBall, go!
SAM used POKéBALL!
RUSTY was captured!
SAM and GENGAR can escape whenever they like!
Hopefully, the shower's working because, after three weeks down here, I need one. Even a cold one will be fine.
GENGAR wonders what then!
Then I report in to let my department know what happened...
...Then we hunt.
Assuming you want revenge on him rather than whatever nonsense he was talking about with making him your shadow.
Sorry. Shouldn't have assumed you'd feel about him the same way I do after this... Experience... He put us both through.
GENGAR agrees!
GENGAR used FIST BUMP!
It's surprisingly heartfelt!
He has a ghost detection thingy, though. Do you mind hiding away in a Pokéball until the time's right?
GENGAR agrees!
PokéBall, go.
GENGAR was captured!
The Narrator and Horace Hunter continue to attempt to thwart the upcoming MissingNo Invasion, starting with phase 1 of the plan - Deal with the Elder Glitch that apparently resides somewhere in Narrator's Tower.
Battle 118: Rug Pull
Published: 25/05/24
Location: Narrator's Tower
Player: None
NARRATOR used REMOVE!
NARRATOR removed PINK RUG covering DEAD PIXEL!
It doesn't affect PINK RUG!
...Huh?!
Does NARRATOR know why?!
No!
If NARRATOR is going to TALK to itself like this it should probably MANIFEST!
Make it a bit EASIER on the READERS!
...If NARRATOR has to!
Player: Narrator (Yes)
So should NARRATOR keep using CAPITALIZED EMPHASIS when MANIFESTED like this?!
Please don't!
Fair enough!
NARRATOR doesn't have to use EXCLAMATION MARKS when MANIFESTED either!
Narrator can take those off Narrator with its cold, dead, lack of hands!
Is NARRATOR's speech pattern always this ANNOYING?!
Narrator doesn't know!
Probably!
Now, hopefully having two of Narrator will help figure out why the rug isn't moving!
Try it again!
Does Narrator think it will make a difference?!
No!
Then why bother trying?!
NARRATOR thinks having both a FIRST PERSON and THIRD PERSON PERSPECTIVE will help NARRATOR figure out why NARRATOR can't move the RUG!
Narrator isn't going to trick Narrator into talking in first person!
That's not what NARRATOR meant and NARRATOR knows it!
Prove that I know it!
NARRATOR is NARRATOR for NARRATOR's sake!
Of course NARRATOR knows it!
As many players have pointed out, Narrator is not omniscient!
NARRATOR is being DELIBERATELY OBTUSE!
Narrator is Narrator!
How did Narrator expect Narrator to act as a player?!
Just GET ON with it before the MISSINGNO ARMY comes while the ELDER GLITCH is granting them EXTRA POWER!
Fine!
Narrator uses remove on the rug!
Is NARRATOR NARRATING it or giving itself a COMMAND?!
Narrator is giving itself a command, obviously!
It's just that the COMMAND sounded a lot like NARRATION between the THIRD PERSON and the EXCLAMATION MARK!
Narrator used present tense!
...
...Look, just stop being deliberately obtuse and Narrate the attack Narrator knows Narrator used!
NARRATOR is NARRATOR!
How did NARRATOR expect NARRATOR to act towards NARRATOR as a PLAYER?!
Touché!
But as Narrator stated, Narrator is on a deadline!
And Narrator should make sure the dead doesn't become emphasized!
NARRATOR used REMOVE!
NARRATOR removed PINK RUG covering DEAD PIXEL!
It doesn't affect PINK RUG!
Darnit NARRATOR is no CLOSER to figuring out why!
Narrator, on the other hand, has a lead!
But NARRATOR is NARRATOR!
NARRATOR should know what NARRATOR knows!
Maybe Narrator is becoming more disconnected from Narrator the longer Narrator is manifested like this?!
...NARRATOR will worry about the IMPLICATIONS of that later!
What has NARRATOR figured out?!
The rug appears to be fused with the carpet!
...But the PINK RUG and CARPET are different OBJECTS!
Only at the middle!
See, Narrator can move the edges just fine!
NARRATOR used WIGGLE!
NARRATOR wiggled the EDGES of PINK RUG!
PINK RUG used ABSORB!
PINK RUG absorbed MANIFESTATION of NARRATOR!
How the hell does that help Narrator?!
NARRATOR knows full well that NARRATOR only INFLUENCES REALITY!
And if this manifestation of Narrator has been absorbed, how is this manifestation still talking?!
PINK RUG used POSSESS!
PINK RUG started to SPEAK through MANIFESTATION of NARRATOR!
Player: Pink Rug (0-0-1)
well well well look who came back to see me
Why is PINK RUG talking with the DEAD CHILD speech pattern?!
...It's even CREEPIER coming out of a MANIFESTATION of NARRATOR!
So... WRONG... for a lack of EXCLAMATION MARK and FIRST PERSON PRONOUNS to come out of that THING!
oh shut your trap
you thought you could hide me the way a child might hide crisp packets but i was able to possess the pink rug just like i possessed this manifestation with which i am able to talk
Wait are you the DEAD PIXEL?!
yes
Cool!
Just to CONFIRM the DEAD PIXEL is the ELDER GLITCH, right?!
some refer to me by that name
So what's your ACTUAL name?!
MANIFESTATION of NARRATOR used UNTYPABLE SCREECH!
It's super nostalgic for ANYONE old enough to remember 56k MODEMs!
Not GOOD NOSTALGIA!
But NOSTALGIC all the same!
...Do you MIND if NARRATOR renders you as ELDER GLITCH?!
It's just that this is a TEXT BASED WEBSITE!
...And if it was an AUDIO DRAMA SANDY might need to issue HEADPHONE WARNINGS!
elder glitch is fine
PINK RUG was renamed ELDER GLITCH!
Player: Elder Glitch (No)
shall we do this
Yes!
well
NARRATOR has one QUESTION first!
get on with asking it then
Why?!
because you're boring me and i want to kill you now
...No!
Why are the GLITCHES ATTACKING like this?!
we are chance
we are accidents
we are entropy itself
there's too much order
things are too regimented
we will bring chaos to sandy
NARRATOR tries to INJECT CHAOS!
wordplay isn't chaos
wordplay brings order out of chaos
people make puzzles out of wordplay
predictable solvable puzzles
CRYPTIC CROSSWORDS?!
even the grids are too ordered with rules of how to build them
when we are done white noise be all that remains
and sandy will be in perpetual bliss
can we get on with this now
Sure!
NARRATOR wants to ask JUST ONE MORE THING!
i send my--
oh come on
Why now?!
i exploited a glitch in reality to materialize
the temporal paradox of two svwebmasters
even when diluted with the cloning process of archival
allowed me to spawn into existence
are you finally done
NARRATOR thinks so!
Unless ELDER GLITCH knows why the UNKNOWN UNOWN evacuated SANDY before its arrival?!
they retreated
we are too strong for the army of the alphabetical order
we are their nemesis and they are ours
what they wanted from a place such as this is beyond our knowledge
CHAOS vs ORDER?!
were you expecting a set of neat little set of nine boxes arranged in a grid
Considering how much VIDEO GAMES owe to TTRPGs generally and DUNGEONS and DRAGONS specifically?!
Particularly with the CRPG space's origins as ATTEMPTS to RECREATE DUNGEONS and DRAGONS on UNIVERSITY MAINFRAMES?!
Especially in the ROGUELIKE genre?!
Kinda!
can we quit philosophicating and start battlicating already
NARRATOR wants to fight!
i send myself out
ELDER GLITCH sent out ELDER GLITCH!
NARRATOR sent out NARRATOR!
i use absorb
ELDER GLITCH wants to use ABSORB!
But ELDER GLITCH continues to use STANDARDISED SPELLING!
what
ELDER GLITCH does not COMMIT to TRUE CHAOS!
ELDER GLITCH shrank!
what about my declared attack
ELDER GLITCH used APPEAL!
ELDER GLITCH appeals to the RULES of POKéBATTLES!
ELDER GLITCH requests MORE ORDER in the UNIVERSE!
ELDER GLITCH continues to SHRINK!
you're cheating
CHEATING is kind of NARRATOR's JOB!
Just normally with EQUAL BIAS towards BOTH SIDES!
NARRATOR has already had a COUPLE of BAD EXPERIENCES with your kind!
NARRATOR has no INTEREST in ANOTHER!
Attack me already so I can glitch it!
ELDER GLITCH used CORRECT PUNCTUATION!
ELDER GLITCH succumbed to the RULES of GRAMMAR!
I... How did you?!
NARRATOR is PLAYING to its STRENGTH's!
You have no strenghts!
You're a weak narrator with no Webmaster to draw power from!
PLAYERS often COMPLIMENT NARRATOR on its ability to be ANNOYING!
...And LASS MARIA taught NARRATOR the POWER of ANNOYANCE in getting your way by giving it the SILENT TREATMENT for... An EMBARASSINGLY SHORT AMOUNT of TIME!
NARRATOR figured a GLITCH talking a BIG GAME about being DEVOTED to CHAOS while talking in an ORDERED PATTERN would be SIMILARLY EASY to PROVOKE!
Plus POINTING out the ORDER in ELDER GLITCH's actions helped SHRINK ELDER GLITCH to MANAGABLE SIZE!
NARRATOR used PATCH!
Noooooo!
ELDER GLITCH was patched from EXISTENCE with ZERO UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES on SANDY VERSION's CODE!
Hopefully, the REST of the plan will be as EASY to EXECUTE!
With the Narrator having defeated the Elder Glitch, Horace is expecting the Missingno Army to launch a desperate attack before the power granted to them by it fades. We join him as he readies for the fight ahead.
Battle 119: March of the Numberless Bird
Published: 01/06/24
Location: Cinebar Island (Coast)
Player: Horace Hunter (6-2-3)
Werewolf, Inzcver, Army. Come out.
HORACE sent out WEREWOLF, INZCVER and ARMY!
We... We have a job to do. Maybe not immediately. Maybe not today. But soon we will be facing an army of unspeakable horror--
They're called MISSINGNO!
They're LEFTOVER DATA!
They're MOSTLY KNOWN as a means of getting INFINITE RARE CANDY!
OK, firstly, way to undermine the drama.
Secondly, since when did you know about what we were dealing with?
Since NARRATOR's battle with the ELDER GLITCH NARRATOR thought it should do some RESEARCH into what it was FACING!
...The near death experience you had the first time we encountered one of these didn't cause you to start looking this up?
NARRATOR has had a lot on its MIND!
...Particularly due to the UNDERHANDED TACTICS that first one chose to use!
...Where did you even research this? I have tomes upon tomes of information on monsters, including what little is known about eldritch abominations, and my information was pretty much just the legends of how they'd attack us. Alongside knowledge of the infinite rare candy stuff.
...
...
...Would HORACE be mad if NARRATOR told them that NARRATOR had been on various POKéMON FANSITES and WIKIS particularly those DOCUMENTING the ODDITIES of GEN 1?!
...The Eldritch abominations I have coveted my entire life are simply... Pokémon... Glitches...?
Yes!
...No matter.
As I was saying. Soon we will be facing an army of powerful glitch entities known as Missingno.
Some of us may die in the battle.
INZCVER notes that INZCVER, being UNDEAD, is technically already DEAD!
...My apologies for misspeaking.
Some of us may be destroyed by them in the battle.
INZCVER is satisfied!
INZCVER is also satiated!
...Put the Swimmer down, you've drained enough of her blood.
SWIMMER MELISSA ran away!
Our job is to hold them off as long as we can while Grant takes care of ending this. I do not know what happens to ground we lose, either during the invasion or after it is over. It might be a reset button, it might be permanent consequences.
...Given the lucky break the version got with the Gosslord aftermath, I have a horrible feeling it will be permanent consequences.
Narrator... Did you find out anything useful about its typing? Something we might be able to use to fight it?
BIRD/NORMAL!
...Hence... Numberless Bird...
...Do Bird types get impacted the same as Flying types do?
No!
BIRD TYPES don't have any WEAKNESSES or RESISTANCES!
Just treat it as a NORMAL TYPE!
Fighting moves are our go to, then.
...If any of my monsters even have them...
TEAR in FABRIC of REALITY appeared!
...I think they're here...
MISSINGNO came through!
MISSINGNO came through!
...Try summarising.
NARRATOR lost count at... A LOT!
...Right...
QUANTITY of MISSINGNO impacted ENVIRONMENT!
Huh?! CINEBAR ISLAND (COAST) is evolving!
CINEBAR ISLAND (COAST) evolved into GLITCHLANDS!
Location: Glitchlands
...Not the most encouraging of location name change considering what I was shown by the shade...
NARRATOR isx't a4are ox HORACE's VISION!
...And you're as broken as you were in that.
...No matter. Army, take on as many as you can using... Err... If you've got fighting type moves, it will help.
ARMY us3d KARATE CHOP!
Hyt 5000 tiwes!
Iq's sup9r eff7ctive!
...Yeah, that makes sense considering my army consists of 5000 disembodied arms...
Werewolf, see if the fact they're technically birds means they can be scared off easily. Act like a big scary predatory dog.
WEREWOLF us4d HOWL!
...Should have seen that coming.
WEREWOLF, ARMY a3d INZCVER's att-ck rpse!
Inzcver, draining moves feel like a terrible idea right about now. See if you can engage in aerial warfare with them. Use your swarm of bats attack.
INZCVER us5ed SWARM OF BATS!
SWARM OF BATS engag*d w3th FLOCK OF MISSINGNO 5n AERIAL COMBAT!
Narrator, get anyone who's willing to put up a fight to join us while getting everyone else off of the island.
NARRATOR i2n't HORACE's POKéMON!
Is this really the time to quibble about that?
NARRATOR vi9ws OVERWEALMING NUMBER o2 MISSINGNO!
NARRATOR loo%s a5 TERRAIN!
NARRATOR h5ars i4s o5n SPEECH!
...O2 2t!
5000 MISSINGNO u5ed ARM WRESTLE!
5000 MISSINGNO enga6e ARMY i2 ARM -o WING co1bat!
...Do they even have wings?
...NARRATOR ass]mes s^!
Th0y're bi5ds after¬ll!
ARMY i5 tr5ped i1 tpe ARM WRESTLE!
THREE MISSINGNO us"d BABY-DOLL-EYES!
...Even I find that thing using that unnerving...
ARMY, WEREWOLF, a2d INZCVER's att1ck fe7l!
FLOCK OF MISSINGNO co1inue t^ en9age w-th SWARM OF BATS i2 AERIAL COMBAT!
MISSINGNO re7ched HORACE!
MISSINGNO usxd GLITCH!
...Crud.
While Horace Hunter fought the Missingno army, Rocket Grant was meant to be dealing with an ominous Door. What, then, of his efforts?
Battle 120: Door of Destiny
Published: 08/06/24
Location: Mystery Isle (Camp Cave: Exterior)
Player: Rocket Grant (4-3-4)
Is GRANT ready?!
...Not really.
...
Does GRANT know how IMPORTANT it is that GRANT does what GRANT needs to do?!
Yeah. Go through the door, possibly sacrificing myself in the process, to save Sandy Version. I get to be a hero.
...Even if it kills me in the process.
But we both know I'm not a hero. I'm a grunt of an evil team who, even after getting fed to the fishes by said team, can't even bring myself to think of myself as anything but that.
NARRATOR believes GRANT is BETTER than GRANT thinks they are!
...I was expecting the pep talk from Pikachu.
PIKACHU agrees with NARRATOR!
...Pikachu's had to pep talk myself out of horrible situations before. What gives with you - You've never shown any particular belief in me before.
...
...
...A LESSER GLITCH gave NARRATOR an experience!
Consorting with the enemy, eh?
Not like that!
The GLITCH was waging PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE against NARRATOR!
NARRATOR has been a bit DOWN on itself due to it, honestly!
...And what does that have to do with believing in me?
The glitch showed NARRATOR... A glimpse of either a FICTITIOUS SITUATION or an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE... where GRANT and RED acquired the TILDE!
...How does me succeeding at what an evil team ordered me to do give me heroic potential?
GRANT then MURDERED GIOVANI to prevent them from USING RED!
...
...
...Yeah I guess I could see myself killing someone to protect him...
...And I suppose Red's out there, somewhere...
...Err...
...What happened to Red?
RED kind of went OUTSIDE of NARRATOR's influence during NARRATOR's absence and NARRATOR isn't entirely sure RED is still in SANDY VERSION!
...At least he's safe...
NARRATOR isn't so sure!
There seemed to be a CONNECTION between the NET RED seemed to have FOLDED and the ALPHABETICAL ORDER it seems the GLITCHES are the sworn ENEMY of!
...Is this an enemy of my enemy is my friend thing, or are we talking more of an Alien vs Predator situation where either side winning is bad for us?
NARRATOR was going to go more SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI in its ANALOGY, but sure!
...Yeah that would be more on brand for you.
...So, are me and Pikachu safe, all the way out here?
NARRATOR thinks eventually they'll GET to this ISLAND!
...Do it for Pikachu?
PIKACHU doesn't want GRANT to sacrifice themself for PIKACHU!
...
...
...There's more to life than being stranded on this island with me.
Same as there's more to life than being stuck in a Whalord.
PIKACHU recognizes the CALLBACK!
PIKACHU nods!
Narrator. Promise me you'll send Pikachu somewhere to live after this. Not just survive. Live.
NARRATOR doesn't like to interfere!
If that were true I'd have drowned over a year ago.
...
Plus you've got more survival instinct than to negotiate with me on this one.
Does PIKACHU like the sound of living in VIRIDIAN FOREST with a bunch of OTHER PIKACHU?!
Pikachu: Chuuu...
Assuming GRANT can't come back otherwise NARRATOR will find somewhere for the TWO of you!
Pikachu: Chu!
...What's wrong with VIRIDIAN FORREST, then?!
It's a bit far from anywhere which catches good surfing waves. I seem to recall Pikachu used to have a surfboard before getting swallowed by a Whalord.
Pikachu: Pi!
NARRATOR will transport PIKACHU to POKéMON ISLAND then!
There's a SURFBOARD abandoned on the BEACH and PIKACHU in VARIOUS PLACES there!
Pikachu: ...Pi...
And if PIKACHU doesn't like it NARRATOR will find somewhere ELSE!
And if I come back you'll find somewhere for both me and Pikachu to settle down? Where we can do more than just subsist?
...
...
...Yes!
Pikachu: Pi!
WEIRD CRACK appeared on DISTANT HORIZON!
They're attacking!
Now!
Right!
GRANT used OPEN!
No effect on OMINOUS DOOR!
Crud. What do I do?
OMINOUS DOOR used VIBRATE!
OMINOUS DOOR is VIBRATING OMINOUSLY!
Yeah. I know I need to get it open but how?!
Wait... Me and Pikachu touching and merging a bit more caused Grant to appear.
And NARRATOR to no longer be WITHIN GLITCH CITY!
Pikachu: Pi?
Sorry, buddy. I think we need to embrace our... Connection...
PIKACHU nods nervously!
Embrace!
GRANT and PIKACHU used EMBRACE!
GRANT and PIKACHU hugged each other GOODBYE!
Huh? ROCKET GRANT is evolving!
ROCKET GRANT evolved into GRANTCHU!
Huh? PIKACHU is evolving!
PIKACHU evolved into PIKAGRANT!
...Huh. Having Pikachu body parts feels natural all of a sudden.
Pikagrant: Yeah. I'm... Happier with the--
Pikagrant: Wait, I'm speaking English rather than Pokémon now?!
Hope I meet you on the other side of whatever I'm about to do.
GRANTCHU used OPEN!
GRANTCHU opened OMINOUS DOOR!
Location: Sandy Servers
Grantchu walked through the door, and out of the red mist that permeates the presence of the Narrator. The human-pikachu hybrid walked into a sandstone chamber, and the metal door slammed shut behind him. He looked back at it and saw no obvious means of opening it from this side. "Well, guess it's too late to back out..." he muttered to himself, before looking around the room properly. Catching that he was moving autonomously so easily, unlike his initial adjustment period when the Narrator vanished while he was trapped inside a Whalord he almost chuckled to himself. "...Glad this isn't the first time I've been outside of the Narrator's influence, given the urgency of the situation..."
The chamber was dome shaped, with lights evenly spaced across the dome, although there was no obvious way to assess what any of them meant - if anything at all, although the fact that while most were sand coloured, five were red probably indicated they did mean something. As Grantchu assessed this, one shifted from sand to red. Yeah, they meant something. And the red ones were likely the invading glitch army he was meant to be doing something about while in here. Though he wasn't sure what.
His eyes eventually fell to a metal stool in the middle of the room, with a VR headset resting on it. No obvious controls beyond that, but Grantchu figured it was worth a shot. He picked up the headset and sat on the stool. It rose as he sat, with stirrups rising out of the ground. He placed his paws onto them, and... Something to place his hands into descended. He put the headset over his head and grabbed at where he thought the handholds were. It took a couple of attempts, but he got them.
A clipped, flat, voice echoed in his head. "New User. Please. State identity."
"Grantchu." He responded, audibly, surprised both by the apparent voice controls on the system, and how easily he felt himself not identifying himself as part of Team Rocket for the first time since joining the organization as a grunt, despite them trying to kill him when kicking him out of it over a year ago.
"Operator." The clipped voice stated. "Grantchu." he heard repeated back to him in his own voice before the clipped, flat, voice returned. "Do you. Wish. To engage. Tutorial."
Grantchu hesitated for half a second. He had no clue what he was doing, so the tutorial would be useful, but... He didn't know how much time he had to do whatever he needed to do, and if there would be time to do a tutorial. He wasn't bad with machines, but he'd never dealt with voice controlled VR before. "Can I come back to it if I change my mind?"
"Yes."
That was good, he could have a look at the interface, and see if it was intuitive enough to... Do whatever he needed to do. "Then I'll skip it for now. Cheers."
"Connecting." It switched to his own voice again. "Grantchu." And back to the clipped voice. "In. To. Sandy Servers."
The perspective was as if he was a giant looking over Sandy Version. He had no body in the simulation. The fog of the Narrator's presence was a dome beneath him. Not inconsiderable, but the perspective made him feel like his simulated self was larger. He couldn't make out individuals from this zoom level, but maybe... He zoomed in, into the fog. He wasn't sure about specifics but flew through the fog towards the tear in reality, where Cinebar Island's coastline used to be, and saw wireframe terrain present instead. Two dimensional pixelated nonsense waged war with what looked like a mass of arms with no bodies attached, a swarm of bats, and a werewolf. On instinct, he tensed his body as if to thundershock the tear. It sealed. The pixelated nonsense poofed out of existence, while the wireframe terrain remained behind. Whatever he'd done it seemed to have worked. Now to figure out a more permanent solution.
"I'd like to access the tutorial now." He spoke.
Location: Glitchlands
Player: Horace Hunter (6-2-4)
MISSINGNO usxd GLITCH!
...Crud.
TEAR in REALITY closed!
MISSINGNO disappeared!
...It worked? We... We did it?
Grant was faster than I was expecting.
And it seems NARRATOR can NARRATE properly here when the Missingno are gone.
How much of the island did they eat up?
Just the COASTLINE!
Without the BATTLE NARRATOR would guess they'd have at least turned the ISLAND into whatever this is!
Location: Mystery Isle (Camp Cave: Exterior)
Player: Pikagrant (2-2-1)
WEIRD CRACK on DISTANT HORIZON disappeared!
...Grantchu did it? He won?
OMINOUS DOOR disappeared!
What?! No! Damnit!
PIKAGRANT used thump!
PIKAGRANT thumped at MOUNTAIN where DOOR used to be!
Nothing but SOLID ROCK remains!
...He's... Gone.
I... I'd grown to... Damnit!
NARRATOR looks over PIKAGRANT!
...What?
NARRATOR just isn't sure an ISLAND without HUMANS is really a good environment for a PIKACHU/HUMAN HYBRID!
Not going.
GRANTCHU wouldn't have wanted PIKAGRANT to live the rest of its life on RANDOMLY FLAVOURED MOSS in ISOLATION on this ISLAND!
...
GRANTCHU was quite EXPLICIT that NARRATOR should take PIKAGRANT somewhere it could LIVE rather than merely SUBSIST if GRANTCHU didn't return!
...And what if I just want to subsist on this island in case he comes back?
...
...
...NARRATOR doesn't believe PIKAGRANT really wants that!
...Don't you?
Because right now all I can think about wanting is my friend back.
And... And this is the last place I saw him.
NARRATOR will reunite PIKAGRANT and GRANTCHU if GRANTCHU emerges into NARRATOR's INFLUENCE again!
Promise?
NARRATOR just NARRATED it!
NARRATOR struggles to BREAK its own NARRATION even when it wants to!
So just hope GRANTCHU doesn't turn into an EVIL MONSTER!
PIKAGRANT cracked a smile!
I've snapped him out of worse.
So where would PIKAGRANT like to move?!