Joey gave in to the Sandshrew that had been hunting him just prior to the once in fifty battle resurrection opportunity, in the hopes death and resurrection would set him free from his fate. His old Raticate waiting at the portal site for him, but while he was fighting against Dave, Lass Maria managed to sneak through the portal.
Battle 101: Deadly Delicacies
Published: 20/01/23
Location: Forest of the Dead
Player: Lass Maria (4-2-0)
PORTAL closed behind MARIA!
...Am I back?
That's how this works!
What about those two who were distracting the Palm Tree Husks?
...Of which there are an unnervingly large amount of around here...
ONE ticket ONLY!
...NARRATOR would rather not deal with the SANDSHREW that SNEAKING a SECOND out causes!
RATICATE appeared!
...Hey there. What's a nice rat like you doing in a place like this?
RATICATE looks at MARIA!
RATICATE wants to know where JOEY is!
I don't know anyone by that name...
JOEY was battling against two PALM TREE HUSKS when MARIA used the PORTAL!
...Oh.
RATICATE... Isn't sure what to do!
Well... How about we go somewhere with fewer undead palm trees that might try and kill us before we chat this out?
RATICATE agrees!
Location: Little Teashop of the Dead
...Surprisingly cosy atmosphere given the location...
HAUNTER appeared!
HAUNTER wants to--
Raticate are you willing to help me with this since apparently I lost my Staryu due to dying and coming back to life?
--take MARIA and RATICATE's orders!
...Oh. Sorry.
HAUNTER understands!
Err... What would you recommend?
HAUNTER is partial to NIGHTSHADE TEA!
Sounds delightful.
HAUNTER cannot recommend it to the LIVING, however!
And why not?
It's poisonous!
...Then why do they even...
GASTLY and GASTLY appeared!
GASTLY ordered a pot of NIGHTSHADE TEA for TWO!
GASTLY whispers SWEET NOTHINGS to GASTLY while they wait!
HAUNTER rarely sees LIVING customers around here!
That makes sense given the location, I suppose...
RATICATE wonders if TEASHOP still does the CHEESE TEA!
They do!
RATICATE offers to share a POT for TWO!
...Cheese... Tea...?
RATICATE thinks it's DELICIOUS!
...Oh, why not? Can't be worse than the time I made myself an onion milkshake...
NARRATOR still has no clue why MARIA did that!
I dunno. Curiosity, I guess?
HAUNTER brings RATICATE and MARIA a pot of CHEESE TEA for TWO!
So... You were waiting for Joey to come back from the dead?
RATICATE was!
Do you know when the next portal will open? The blue dragon thing in the lilies wasn't clear.
...
NARRATOR still doesn't know what BLUE DRAGON THING JOEY, RATICATE, DAVE and now MARIA keep TALKING ABOUT!
RATICATE used SIP!
RATICATE sipped at its TEA!
...Yeah, he seems to like that you can't see or hear him.
RUDE!
I'm just relaying his feelings about you, I didn't offer any myself.
RATICATE indicates the next PORTAL should be BATTLE 150!
...That's pretty much an entire year away.
Any way to accelerate that?
RATICATE remembers the SANDSHREW!
RATICATE thinks better of RISKING IT!
RATICATE was meant to be HOSTILE to DAVE if DAVE made it through instead of JOEY!
Neither RATICATE nor JOEY anticipated a THIRD PARTY coming through!
RATICATE used SIP!
RATICATE sipped at its TEA!
And now you don't know if you should be hostile to me for coming through instead of him, or... Happy for me?
RATICATE nods!
RATICATE is leaning towards HAPPY!
RATICATE has a lot of TIME on its hands!
RATICATE wonders what MARIA thinks of the TEA!
Oh. Yeah. That.
MARIA looks in their CUP!
CHEESE TEA used LEER!
MARIA's defence fell!
...Can't be worse than the milkshake...
MARIA used SIP!
MARIA sipped at their TEA!
That...
RATICATE looks at MARIA expectantly!
...I wouldn't call it a favourite, but I wouldn't say no to having it again.
RATICATE chitters happily!
Do many humans like it?
RATICATE considers!
MARIA is the first HUMAN RATICATE has managed to convince to TRY CHEESE TEA other than JOEY!
RATICATE isn't sure if JOEY liked it or not!
Oh?
RATICATE doesn't think JOEY ever looked like they ENJOYED it but whenever RATICATE asked if they'd join it for a CUP they did get their MOM to make TWO!
...Sounds like the two of you were close.
RATICATE considers!
RATICATE thinks they were ONCE!
RATICATE misses those days!
What happened?
RATICATE and JOEY had a falling out!
...You weren't able to recover?
RATICATE needlessly insulted JOEY and isn't sure it ever APOLOGISED for that even as JOEY tried to PROVE THEMSELVES a GOOD TRAINER to RATICATE!
RATICATE pauses!
RATICATE still thinks JOEY made things worse with some of their ATTEMPTS to PROVE THEMSELVES!
...And then he died while you had a falling out?
RATICATE laughs!
RATICATE was then MURDERED by JOEY in COLD BLOOD!
...Err...
RATICATE recalls that JOEY then got another RATICATE to kill them so they could RESCUE RATICATE from the LAND of the DEAD!
RATICATE then caught JOEY in a POKéBALL to get DAVE to LET GO of JOEY and allow RATICATE to get into the PORTAL smuggling JOEY along!
So... Wait... Isn't he dead?
RATICATE hasn't finished its TALE yet!
...There's... More?
RATICATE then let JOEY out of the POKéBALL and found JOEY was being HUNTED by the SAND REAPER!
RATICATE relates that JOEY eventually got fed up with LIVING in HIDING inside a POKéBALL and decided to let the SAND REAPER kill them so they could RETURN to LIFE again without the MANIFESTATION of DEATH hunting them!
I... See...
RATICATE then met MARIA instead!
Sounds like the two of your relationship is... Complicated...
RATICATE will drink to that!
RATICATE finished its CHEESE TEA!
MARIA finished their CHEESE TEA!
HAUNTER brings MARIA and RATICATE the BILL!
RATICATE seems to be out of CASH!
...I'll just...
DUE to BOTCHED RESURRECTION ATTEMPTS that instead brought NEW UNLIFE to SANDY VERSION MARIA no longer has a WALLET!
...Ah.
HAUNTER is happy to accept LIVES as PAYMENT!
HAUNTER wants to fight!
Raticate, are you willing to help out?
RATICATE sent out RATICATE!
I suppose I should send myself out.
MARIA sent out MARIA!
HAUNTER used CURSE!
It's super educational!
...Well that is a lot of new vocab for me to not use around my parents.
...Oh.
Do they... Do they know I died?
...
...
...NARRATOR will need a FEW WEEKS to BREAK the NEWS that MARIA is BACK!
...And CONVINCE them MARIA is PROPERLY BACK rather than a ZOMBIE this time!
...Between 'zombie' and 'botched resurrection attempts' I'm starting to get the impression there's something you're not telling me...
Only because there is!
RATICATE used BITE!
RATICATE took a BITE out of a CAKE they hadn't ORDERED!
Oh. Right. The battle.
Let's see... I'll attempt to smash Haunter's head with a teapot?
MARIA used POT SMASH!
It's super effective!
Really?
...On TEAPOT!
TEAPOT fainted!
Huh?! TEAPOT is evolving?
TEAPOT evolved into SMASHED CROCKERY!
No effect on HAUNTER!
HAUNTER used RAGE!
...I didn't even know that was in Haunter's learn set...
NARRATOR thinks it's in the learn set of everyone in CUSTOMER SERVICE roles!
...Ah...
...To be fair, we're fighting for our lives here...
RATICATE used CRUNCH!
RATICATE CRUNCHed down on WOODEN TABLE to FILE TEETH!
...I'm not sure how that's meant to help...
HAUNTER's RAGE is building!
Yeah, that's likely the opposite of helping...
Oh, music sometimes helps me calm down. Sing.
MARIA used SING!
It's super out of key!
GLASS used SHATTER!
GLASS died!
...Oh. Yeah. I was kicked out of singing lessons because of that...
HAUNTER's RAGE is building!
HAUNTER used FLING!
HAUNTER flung MARIA and RATICATE out of the WINDOW!
MARIA and RATICATE ran away!
...Painfully!
WINDOW fainted!
...CAFE is in DISSARRAY due to SHATTERED GLASS, BROKEN WINDOWS, CHEWED ON TABLES and STOLEN CAKE!
HAUNTER's rage is building!
...A new CAFE due to the damages the BATTLE caused to this one!
With a more HORRIFIC than COZY vibe!
Recently, Jean learnt that her son, Joey, has come back from the dead but had so far been unable to visit due to being hunted by a powerful Sandshrew. Joey came up with a plan to rid himself of the Sandshrew hunting him - Phase 1, allow himself to be killed by the Sandshrew. Phase 2, return through the portal that appears once every fifty battles.
Only the first half of his plan worked.
Battle 102: The Narrator of Bad News
Published: 27/01/24
Location: Cherrygrove City Park
Player: Mom Jean (2-2-1)
Weirdly good weather for the past couple of weeks.
SPINARAK appeared!
...Well, ok, yeah, guess my luck couldn't last for--
SPINARAK used SPIN!
SPINARAK spun a SILK PURSE!
SPINARAK used GIFT!
JEAN received a NEW SILK PURSE!
SPINARAK ran away!
...
...
...OK, so it's not luck. You're up to something.
NARRATOR is up to its USUAL TRICKS!
A little PUN here!
A little COMEDIC TORTURE there!
NARRATOR is currently under FIVE BRI--
SPONSORSHIPS! FIVE SPONSORSHIPS!
...I don't recall anything...
TWINS AMY & MAY appeared!
TIGER appeared!
TWINS AMY & MAY ran away!
TIGER ran after!
...Err...
The BRIBE from DEVON CORPORATION for INCENTIVISING sales of RUNNING SHOES!
...You are a sick and twisted god...
NARRATOR chooses to take that as a COMPLIMENT!
...Of course you do. But I don't seem to have been impacted by... Any of those...
NARRATOR is also doing ROUTINE MAINTENANCE and BUG HUNTING on SANDY VERSION!
...For the first time EVER!
I... Think a couple of Joey's friends were bug catchers if that would help with it? I think I still have the number for their parents if you want my help?
Not that type of BUG!
Any reason?
...NARRATOR had a WEIRD EXPERIENCE recently and it THREATENED it was merely a HARBINGER!
...The lighting here just got weird.
FOUR SHADOWS appeared!
THREE SHADOWS ran away!
Shadow. Hi. How are you settling in?
Dad Shadow: Doing fine. Having to brush up on my trivia, particularly on legends, in case the wall monster comes back while I need to be in the basement, but aside from that the new place is good.
And how's Beth getting on? Has she started school?
Dad Shadow: Yeah. She's doing fine and has joined a club to help make on the recommendation of the principal. He's... Err...
...I've met him, I know exactly what you mean.
Glad things are going well. How's your... Daughter's other dad? What is your relationship, anyway?
Dad Shadow: ...Complicated.
Dad Shadow: He's fine, though. At least now he's got his new lab set up in a shed out back.
I thought the two of you had agreed it would be a basement lab.
The wall monster I mentioned put a problem in that plan. Too much risk of being eaten to be in there regularly.
...Well, no house is perfect.
I won't be keeping you. Nice that we can bump into each other like this these days.
SHADOW agrees!
SHADOW jogged off!
Now let's get back to what we were talking about.
You're being incredibly nice to me. Why?
No reason!
...I used to raise Joey before he went on a Pokémon journey, became a dictator, died, came back to life, and is now unable to come home due to being hunted by a manifestation of death in the form of a giant Sandshrew.
NARRATOR doesn't see the RELEVANCE!
The relevance is that it means I have first hand experience of being buttered up. You either want me to get you a Rattata, something related to Rattata, or something happened that you're trying to get me in a very good mood before I find out about it.
...NARRATOR thinks there are OTHER REASONS for being NICE!
...OK, yeah, my experience of what sort of things people ask for is... Unique... But you get my drift. Either you want something from me, or something bad's happened. So, which is it?
...
...
...Does JEAN want the GOOD NEWS or the BAD NEWS first?!
...Buttering me up and doing the good news/bad news game? Just how bad is this bad news of yours?
JOEY is dead again!
...
...
I... You...
Can he come back again?
POSSIBLY!
When?
BATTLE 150!
That's... That's a long time...
They were HOPING to come back BATTLE 100!
LASS MARIA came back instead!
...The... The girl that Beth was created from the corpse of?
Yes!
...Right...
...What was the good news?
JOEY is no longer being HUNTED by a MANIFESTATION of DEATH in the form of a GIANT ANTHROPOMORPHIC SANDSHREW armed with a SCYTHE!
TIGER appeared!
...Where are the twins it was chasing?
TIGER used BURP!
...I didn't think you liked Narrating the deaths of children.
It was a very GENEROUS BRI--
SPONSORSHIP! A very GENEROUS SPONSORSHIP!
TIGER wants to fight!
...
...Not in the mood.
...Of course!
TIGER ran away!
After making it to the portal to return to life in Battle 100, Lass Maria has been journeying back to Cerulean City in order to reconnect with her parents alongside Joey's old Raticate.
Battle 103: Reconnection
Published: 3/2/24
Location: Cerulean City Cemetary
Time: Two weeks ago
Player: Dad Monty (0-0-2)
Is MONTY heading to work?!
You know I like to pass this way on the way home from work. Not that the bastard that did... That... to her corpse left us a body to bury.
Yeah... About that!
Oh?
NARRATOR thinks this would be EASIER if MONTY and MOLLY are together!
...How bad is the news?
Because last time you said that it was because a monster had turned our daughter's corpse into a freak science experiment.
GOOD NEWS!
...But COMPLICATED!
GOOD but COMPLICATED!
...Right.
So I should head home now?
Not URGENT but... COMPLICATED!
Location: Monty's House
Time: That evening
DAD MONTY appeared!
MUM MOLLY appeared!
OK. Spill.
Mum Molly: Yeah, what was so complicated you couldn't tell us both individually, but unimportant it was able to wait?
MARIA is ALIVE!
...
...
What has that wannabe necromancer done this time?
NOTHING!
Mum Molly: ...But...
...
...
...How can NARRATOR explain?!
FRAME RULES!
...Frame. Rules?
DEATH isn't the END but a PASSAGEWAY to another LOCATION where the DEAD gradually FADE AWAY!
Think of it like ANOTHER LEVEL in the original SUPER MARIO BROS!
And the CONNECTION isn't ONE WAY!
But every 50 BATTLES - Think of that as the equivalent of the 21 FRAMES that MARIO BROS checks to see if a LEVEL has been CLEARED - a PORTAL opens allowing EXACTLY ONE person to PASS BACK!
It also ALLOWS the NARRATOR to NARRATE there every 50 BATTLEs but that's not important right now!
...You... You do know it would have been easier to explain in terms of bus schedules, right?
Mum Molly: ...And Maria made it to the portal?
Yes!
And it's really Maria? Not some zombie parody of her like last time someone got our hopes up about seeing our daughter again?
It's REALLY MARIA!
So where is she?
...Currently RUNNING from the GHOST TYPE SPECIALITY CAFE they didn't have CASH to SETTLE UP at!
...She's in danger?
...They'll be FINE!
Nothing's CHASING them!
They just don't KNOW that!
Mum Molly: So, how long away is she?
It'll take about TWO WEEKS for them to REACH CERULIAN CITY PARK!
A FRIENDLY RATICATE is HELPING them!
Location: Cerulean City Park
Time: Now
Player: Lass Maria (4-3-0)
...Why am I nervous?
I went to thank the person who saved me during the Gosslord incident, got shot by a vampire hunter in the process, died, and came back to life.
They should be happy I'm back, right?
RATICATE agrees!
MUM MOLLY appeared!
DAD MONTY appeared!
Hi? Great seeing you both. I missed you while I was dead.
Mum Molly: Is it... Is it really you?
...Yeah...
Dad Monty: And you have all your memories?
Yeah. And I'm not even remotely uncomfortable around you now. Apparently death and resurrection shook the last vestiges of horror about seeing you evolve into a Gosslord?
Don't recommend it, but it finished off the work months of therapy had started.
Mum Molly: Is that the friendly Raticate the Narrator told us about?
Raticate: Rat!
Yeah.
Dad Monty: How'd you two meet, anyway?
He was waiting for his old trainer, hoping he'd have come through the portal from the land of the dead rather than me.
Dad Monty: ...Oh.
Mum Molly: That... Kind of puts a downer on the good news.
Yeah... I... Also probably need to tell Shadow my death isn't his fault? And that I'm no longer dead...
Dad Monty: ...The... Hedgehog who turned your corpse into an abomination of nature?
...The what?
...Oh!
NARRATOR never got round to TELLING MARIA what NARRATOR wasn't telling them!
SHADOW was so DISTRAUGHT about LOSING a SECOND MARIA that they forced a FRIEND to VIOLATE the LAWS OF NATURE and BRING MARIA's CORPSE back as a PARODY of LIFE that happens to be a WONDERFUL YOUNG GIRL called BETH!
NARRATOR thinks MARIA would like BETH!
...I... See...
And... Why did my parents know about this?
SHADOW thought INTRODUCING BETH to MARIA's PARENTS would trigger BETH to gain MARIA's MEMORIES because SHADOW didn't recognize that BETH wasn't MARIA at the time!
They then ORGANIZED a MOB and CHASED SHADOW, TAILS and BETH out of KANTO!
...My parents are going to forbid me from finding them to make sure they know I'm fine because of a bad first impression, aren't they?
Dad Monty: Glad you understand and agree with our position.
Mum Molly: Because we are absolutely doing that.
...Understand, yes. Agree, no.
While protecting a gryphon egg, Centaur Cecil has gone on an expedition down the Crystal Caverns, leaving the egg in Sentry Sean's care.
Battle 104: One Mon's Food is Another Mon's Treasure
Published: 10/02/24
Location: Crystal Caverns
Player: Centaur Cecil (0-0-2)
It feels like I have betrayed Sean's trust by informing him that I had business down here despite the two of us needing to protect that Gryphon egg.
Although it wasn't exactly a falsehood which I spoke.
I just... Required solitude... To do my sidequest within these caverns.
NARRATOR is aware!
Or at least as close to solitude as one can achieve in these parts.
Rude!
7 GEM BUDS appeared!
Perfection. Even more delicate and beautiful to behold than the bards told in their tales.
Are any of them, perchance, ripe for harvesting?
ONE!
SABLEYE appeared!
SABLEYE looks at RIPE GEM BUD!
SABLEYE used DROOL!
SABLEYE drools in ANTICIPATION of a DELICIOUS MEAL!
...Absolutely not, foul creature. You shouldn't even be in these parts. You're not an ancient monster from before Pokémon spawned into existence from the progenitor myth, Mew.
SABLEYE notices CECIL!
SABLEYE would have CECIL know it BATHED this morning!
...I wasn't meaning to cast doubt as to your hygiene, I was calling into question your morality.
SABLEYE donated a perfectly tasty CARBONITE to a SABLEYE RUNT LAST WEEK!
...I do not believe that that says what you intended about your moral character...
Although to be fair I do partake in the delights of venison, myself...
SABLEYE wants to fight!
At least this should distract it from consuming the delectable gem within the bud...
Still, there is too great a risk of a cave in should I send out my Hydra. Wood Nymph, we must achieve victory ourselves.
CECIL sent out WOOD NYMPH!
SABLEYE used SHADOW BALL!
A shame that the interloper seems to understand what not to use. Alas, it was far too optimistic of me to assume that its lack of a trainer would transfer to it being naive as to dark type moves being ineffective due to Wood Nymph's partial fairy typing.
...SABLEYE invited WOOD NYMPH to a BALL illuminated by SHADOW!
It's a BIG EVENT for GHOST TYPES!
WOOD NYMPH thinks SABLEYE is an ATTRACTIVE SHADOWY GREMLIN GHOST THING!
WOOD NYMPH accepts the invitation!
Wood Nymph, does your upcoming romantic engagement interfere with your ability to battle?
WOOD NYMPH is flirting with SABLEYE!
WOOD NYMPH refuses to battle!
...I see...
Wood Nymph, return, I guess I shall have to defend the object of my quest from this interloper into these lands.
CECIL recalled WOOD NYMPH!
CECIL sent out CENTAUR CECIL!
Its unearthly apparitions might present a problem for one such as I...
Pardon?!
In more modern parlance, it being a ghost type may present a problem for my preponderance of normal type moves.
But still, perchance the gift my more bestial cousin from distant lands sent me in celebration of the recent winter solstice will come to my rescue. I shall fire three electric arrows from this exotic Lynel Bow for my attack.
CECIL used TRIPPLE ARROW!
Hit two times!
SABLEYE became paralyzed!
SABLEYE may not attack!
A most fortuitous result.
...Let NARRATOR finish before CELEBRATING!
Hm?
FINAL ARROW kept going and crashed...
...Narrator...
...Into RIPE GEM BUD!
RIPE GEM BUD used SHATTER!
SABLEYE fainted!
RIPE GEM BUD fainted!
RIPE GEM BUD is no longer RIPE for HARVESTING!
...How... How long until the other Gem Buds become ripe for harvesting?
NARRATOR checks the CAVE MINERALS!
NARRATOR does some BACK of the ENVELOPE calculations!
...Carry the ELEPHANT...!
...The... Elephant?
CARRYING ELEPHANTS is a very IMPORTANT part of NARRATOR's method of MENTAL ARITHMETIC!
NARRATOR dropped the ELEPHANT somewhere in UNOVA!
I am unfamiliar with such lands.
ELEPHANT fainted!
PRE-SCHOOLER EVAN's birthday party was RUINED!
In... In what possible way are these two facts connected?
An ELEPHANT landing on a BIRTHDAY CAKE while BLOWING OUT the CANDLES kind of puts a DAMPENER on a PARTY ATMOSPHERE!
...You didn't narrate any other injuries at the party aside from the elephant fainting. Am I able to assume there is no lasting damage to the child?
EVAN is PHYSICALLY FINE!
...MESSY, but FINE!
That is a relief.
...The NEXT BUD to RIPEN will do so in APPROXIMATELY 7 MONTHS!
...7... Months...
...I... I must think of another gift to Sean of equal worth, for I cannot wait to ask him to formalize our relationship.
Location: Crystal Caverns (Exterior)
I have returned at last.
Sentry Sean: Awesome, mate.
Does the egg remain safely within our care?
Sentry Sean: Yeah, mate. Neither predator nor poacher came near it while I was guarding it.
Sentry Sean: How'd the sidequest go, mate?
I'm afraid I must inform you of my failure. Still. It is no matter. I will find another source at some point.
Sentry Sean: Ah. That's a shame, mate. But maybe this will make up for it?
SEAN dropped to one KNEE while HOLDING an ORNATE ROSE carved out of WOOD!
Sentry Sean: Will you marry me, mate?
SEAN used PROPOSE!
...Sean...
I was... My side quest was to find an exquisite gemstone with which to profess my love for you in a similar manner to what you're doing now.
Where did you even acquire such a beautifully crafted rose while guarding the griffon egg?
Sentry Sean: It's not that good, mate. I've... kinda taken up whittling while on guard duty?
Sentry Sean: I... Took your advice, mate, and found a hobby. Just one that I could do while guarding things rather than one that I'd turn into another form of guarding.
Sentry Sean: ...I was a bit embarrassed by it since I didn't think I was that good...
You... You crafted such an ornate figurine of a rose yourself?
That puts... Oh, Sean...
Sentry Sean: Mate?
Nothing would give my heart more honour than to marry you.
CECICL used ACCEPT!
Both moves are super effective!
When we last saw Poacher A and Scramble, Poacher A was swearing up a literal storm, destroying Scramble's home in the process. Since then, Poacher A's sentence for attempting to eat the population of Yolk Isle was reduced to helping Scramble rebuild his home in penance for his crimes in the hopes that community service would help rehabilitate him. We join them as they finalize the construction.
Battle 105: Building Relationships
Published: 17/02/24
Location: Scramble's Home Rebuilding Project
Player: Poacher A (0-2-1)
OK, bastard. This is the last piece. Is that my sentence done when it's placed?
Scramble: ...I wish you wouldn't keep calling me that.
Yeah, I know.
But you stopped gagging me with dirty laundry whenever I swore months back.
I think I'm growing on you, bastard.
Scramble: Like a fungal infection.
Scramble: But, yeah. When you place it, you're free to... Well, leave would be over selling things.
...Yeah. It's a bloody long way up here and I don't know Teleport or Fly...
...What happened to Poacher B when the Chansey shoved him off the island?
NARRATOR doesn't know!
NARRATOR never NARRATED them landing!
POACHER B left NARRATOR's influence months ago!
...Poor bastard likely starved to death...
Location: The Infinite Void Beneath Sandy Version
Poacher B fell. He was truly alone. He wasn't even able to starve - The grains of sand within the void acted as sufficient nutrients to keep him alive. Even if he kept his mouth shut, enough entered his nostrils to keep him alive. The Narrator, if it had extended this far deep, would have likely made a joke evolution of Poacher B into a filter feeder, but in the Narrator's absence, Poacher B remained poorly adapted for his new life.
And yet... He survives. Continuing to fall. Forever.
Location: Scrambles Home Rebuilding Project
POACHER A used PLACE!
Final PIECE of SCRAMBLE's HOME REBUILDING PROJECT was PLACED!
Huh?! SCRAMBLE's HOME REBUILDING PROJECT is evolving!
SCRAMBLE's HOME REBUILDING PROJECT evolved into SCRAMBLE's HOME!
Location: Scramble's Home
Well... Guess I'll see you around, you bastard.
Scramble: ...Guess so...
...
Scramble: ...You're going to need somewhere to stay.
Can you lend me the tent we've been staying in while rebuilding your home, you voluntarily, me as my community service sentence?
Scramble: ...I... Could...
...Come on, I've only been joking about you being a bastard. At least over the past couple of months. You aren't really going to be a bastard on this, are ya?
Scramble: ...Or you could stay in my spare room? At least until we build you somewhere for just you?
...
And what if I don't want somewhere for just me?
Scramble: ...People will think you've developed Stockholm syndrome if you stay in my place permanently.
Or you've developed it in reverse.
Scramble: They've been thinking that since I stopped storing my laundry in your mouth.
Maybe you have.
Scramble: Maybe it's real.
NARRATOR would appreciate it if you two would STOP DANCING AROUND things and either FISTBUMP or MAKEOUT depending on if you're talking FRIENDSHIP or ROMANCE here!
And the omnipresent bastard ruined it.
Scramble: You settle into the spare room. I'll make us fried Pidgey.
To... Whatever we are.
Scramble: I think I know exactly what we are.
Oh?
Scramble: Just a couple of bastards.