Lass Maria has been attempting to find Shadow in order to thank him for helping her during the Narrator's absence. The Narrator hasn't exactly been cooperative in her endeavours so far.
Battle 86: Silent Treatment
Published 23/09/23
Location: Maria's Bedroom
Player: Lass Maria (2-1-0)
MARIA used... Err... NOTHING?!
...
NOTHING happened!
...
Maybe MARIA wants to be a PROTAGONIST type?!
...
...What? LASS MARIA is evolving!
B.
Huh? LASS MARIA stopped evolving!
...
MARIA can't keep up the SILENT TREATMENT forever!
I'm not planning on doing.
LASS MARIA used TALK!
...
It's not very effective, apparently!
...
C'mon, do SOMETHING!
...
...Fine!
What does MARIA want?!
Finally got around to asking, huh?
Let me thank Shadow and I'll go back to being as chatty as I used to be.
NARRATOR doesn't think that's a GOOD IDEA!
...
...SHADOW is kind of in the MIDDLE of SOMETHING right now!
...
No, SERIOUSLY!
...
NARRATOR is using SHADOW to NIP a potentially GOSSLORD level PROBLEM in the BUD right now!
Did you cause this problem?
Not the POINT!
That would be a yes, then.
So MARIA sees that their GRATITUDE can WAIT?!
...
...Apparently not!
...
And BEFORE that SHADOW started to get EMBROILED in a THREAD involving DARK FORCES SHADOW shouldn't be MESSING with!
...
...Because NARRATOR accidentally on purpose MISLED SHADOW into thinking their EEVEE would evolve into an UMBREON instead of a BLOODEON by answering the QUESTION they ASKED rather than the one they MEANT!
...
NARRATOR just isn't sure that's the sort of ENVIRONMENT someone as YOUNG as LASS MARIA should be in!
...
OK, FINE!
SHADOW will be HEADING to ROUTE 7 soon!
NARRATOR won't BLOCK MARIA's PROGRESS this time!
How the HECK did MARIA figure out that SILENT TREATMENT was something NARRATOR was bad at DEALING with?!
Everyone else struggles to deal with it, figured it was worth a shot on you.
...Most people crack a lot later than you did, though...
...How do you cope with Protagonist types if you can't even manage 15 minutes of someone not talking to you when they're conscious and alone?
PROTAGONIST TYPES think LOUDLY!
If MARIA does this there will be a PRICE to PAY!
...By which you mean you'll find something arbitrary to have me battle?
Pretty much, yeah!
So... Like you always do?
...Pretty much, yeah!
So, literally, nothing for me to be concerned with, then.
Time: 60 minutes later
Location: Saffron City
So, Shadow's on Route 7, just beyond this gate?
Not YET but they should be SOON!
Well, I'll just go and wait for him there, then.
Location: Route 7
Martian War Machine: Ooooh Laaaaa~
Location: Saffron City
NARRATOR doesn't think WAITING on ROUTE 7 is ADVISABLE!
You're delaying again.
NARRATOR will let MARIA know when SHADOW has taken care of the PROBLEM on ROUTE 7!
...Fine.
In the MEANWHILE how about MARIA pay the PRICE!
OK, fine. What do you want me to fight? A street sign? A lamppost? A fire hydrant?
SILENT P appeared!
...An abstract English language concept, apparently...
NARRATOR is still ANNOYED at being given the PSILENT PTREATMENT!
...I'm going to ignore the fact you pronounced those with a P that I'm sure you're going to claim is silent.
SILENT P wants to fight!
Yes. I figured. Staryu, go.
MARIA sent out STARYU!
SILENT P sent out PTERODACTYL!
...Have to admit, wasn't expecting it to be a trainer... Rapid spin.
PTERODACTYL used FLY!
PTERODACTYL flew up high!
STARYU spun right round, BABY!
Right round like a RECORD, BABY!
Right round round round!
...Oh god please stop singing...
STARYU's attack missed!
STARYU became dizzy!
...What's a record, anyway?
RECORDS are the THING that goes after PLAYER NAMES in OFFICIAL BATTLES!
I mean in this context.
...
...Like a CD but BIGGER!
...A CD? Those ancient things that used to play music?
...
...
...Well now NARRATOR feels OLD!
We seem to be slower, try a Power Gem.
PTERODACTYL used FLY!
STARYU used POWER GEM!
STARYU hit MARIA in its dizziness!
...Ow...
Swift.
...Hopefully that will override the dizziness as well as the Fly...
PTERODACTYL used FLY!
PTERODACTYL flew up high!
STARYU is dizzy no longer!
STARYU used SWIFT!
STARYU swiftly pursued PTERODACTYL!
Not... Quite... What I had in mind...
...
...
Is it still a DOG FIGHT if it's between a STARFISH and a PTERASAUR?!
Neither of them are even MAMMALS!
Cool looking, though!
...Stop rubbing it in that you're watching it and we're unable to see it because it's so high up...
...PTERODACTYL fainted!
Yes!
STARYU fainted!
...Aww...
So... You want to call it a draw?
SILENT P was dragged out!
Darnit.
MARIA was dragged out!
SILENT P used PSEUDONYM!
SILENT P was renamed UNPRONOUNCED P!
Hmm... Punch?
MARIA used PUNCH!
It's super effective!
...Hmmm...
UNPRONOUNCED P used RECEIPT!
MARIA received BILL for PTERODACTYL's medical fees!
...But Pokémon get free medical care...
No effect!
Powerful Pinched Pepperpot Pandemonium Punch!
UNPRONOUNCED P recoiled in HORROR at QUANTITY of PRONOUNCED P's!
MARIA used POWERFUL PINCHED PEPPERPOT PANDEMONIUM PUNCH!
Hit 7 times!
It's super effective!
UNPRONOUNCED P fainted!
UNPRONOUNCED P was renamed SILENT P!
Suppose I better get my Staryu to a Pokémon Center before Shadow turns up on Route 7...
When we last saw Shadow, he'd gone off to catch a common cold in order to fight a Martian War Machine before that became a major issue for the version. Meanwhile, both Lass Maria and Van HAlsing were attempting, for vastly different reasons.
Battle 87: Shadows and Dark Creatures
Published: 30/09/23
Location: Route 7
Player: Shadow (2-2-2)
Achoo!
OK. I'm here. *sniffle* Took a while to figure out how to catch a cold, but... I managed it. Where'd I put that tissue?
SHADOW used BLOW!
A FORBODING CLOUD blew in!
...OK, some creepy foreshadowing going on. *sniffle* What are you planning?
NARRATOR thinks SHADOW should be less worried by OMINOUS FORSHADOWING and more by the MISSION!
MARTIAN WAR MACHINE appeared!
Achoo!
...Ah. Right. That. *sniffle* The reason I caught this cold in the first place.
Martian War Machine: Oooh-Laaah
Achoo!
MARTIAN WAR MACHINE wants to fight!
MARTIAN WAR MACHINE sent out MARTIAN WAR MACHINE!
Guessed as much. *sniffle* Cold, go.
SHADOW sent out COLD!
Thank goodness, I feel better already. Will never figure out why people feel so much worse when a disease type is in a Pokéball rather than out of it.
MARTIAN WAR MACHINE used HEAT RAY!
RAY is getting HEATED!
RAY lashed out in ANGER at their BOSS!
RAY lost their JOB!
No effect on BATTLE!
Cold, infect.
COLD used INFECT!
MARTIAN WAR MACHINE caught COLD!
MARTIAN WAR MACHINE withdrew MARTIAN WAR MACHINE!
MARTIAN WAR MACHINE sent out COLD!
...You know, I really should have seen that coming.
Bloodeon, go.
SHADOW sent out BLOODEON!
Bloodeon, you still have your thrall, right?
BLOODEON purrs happily!
BLOODEON sent out ELGYEM!
Bloodeon, see if Elgyem can make contact with the enemy trainer. Distract it by talking it's language.
ELGYEM used CONTACT!
ELGYEM is in CONTACT with MARTIAN WAR MACHINE!
Martian War Machine: Oooh-Laaah
ELGYEM prefers PEACEFUL RESOLUTION!
MARTIAN WAR MACHINE: Oooh-Laaah
ELGYEM thinks there are BETTER WAYS to RESOLVE CONFLICT than VIOLENCE!
NARRATOR is confused by the NOTION of BETTER WAYS to RESOLVE CONFLICT than VIOLANCE!
NARRATOR let VAN HALSING and MARIA SIMULTANIOUSLY catch up to SHADOW in its CONFUSION!
VAN HALSING appeared!
LASS MARIA appeared!
...Ooops!
OK, firstly, Maria? Now?
And, secondly, who's Van HAlsing?
Van HAlsing: At last. I have caught up with you and your bloodthirsty abomination you call a Pokémon. The two of you robbed everything from me, and now you must pay dearly for your crimes.
Literally don't know who you are, kind of in the middle of something right now. Wait in line.
Lass Maria: Shadow! I've been trying to catch up with you since the Narrator returned to thank you for everything you did for me during its absence.
Cool. Glad you're ok. Kind of in the middle of something right now, though, so going to need to take a rain check on that reunion. Sorry.
Martian War Machine: Oooh-Laaah
Yes, I know you're still here, you're who I'm trying to deal with first.
...That sounded a bit weaker than before, though...
MARTIAN WAR MACHINE succumbed to COLD!
MARTIAN WAR MACHINE died!
Great. It's corpse can keep the Cold.
VAN HALSING wants to fight!
...I still have literally no clue who that is.
VAN HALSING sent out GOLBAT!
Bloodeon and Elgyem are still out, right?
Yes!
Cool. Bloodeon, have Elgyem use Psychic.
ELGYEM used PSYCHIC!
It's super effective!
GOLBAT fainted!
Easier than I was anticipating.
VAN HALSING sent out VAN HALSING.
Van HAlsing: Elgyem, my love. Is there anything left of you inside the husk Bloodeon left of you?
...Wait did that sheet of aluminium from the last time I battled here evolve into... That weird aluminium foil construct? Bloodeon, have Elgyem try a psychic again. Worked last time.
ELGYIM used PSYCHIC!
VAN HALSING isn't just WEARING a TIN FOIL HAT, VAN HALSING's HEAD is a TIN FOIL HAT!
No effect!
VAN HALSING used STAKE!
VAN HALSING aimed at BLOODEON rather than ELGYEM!
Bloodeon, double team, quick.
BLOODEON used DOUBLE TEAM!
BLOODEON's evasion rose!
VAN HALSING's attack missed!
VAN HALSING's attack kept going and crashed!
...Into MARIA!
...Narrator I swear to god...
Critical hits include damage to vital organs, right?!
...Narrator...
It's just that NARRATOR doesn't want to UNDERSELL a STAKE through the HEART!
...MARIA!
MARIA died!
...
...
...Again.
...It happened again.
And this wasn't even illness that killed her this time. That was a senseless act of violence from you, Van HAlsing.
Van HAlsing: If you hadn't had the evil creature you keep as a pet dodge my justice the girl would have been just fine.
Bloodeon. Playtime's over. I need you and Elgyem to rend Van HAlsing limb from limb. Destroy him. Leave. Nothing. Behind.
BLOODEON used REND!
ELGYEM used REND!
NARRATOR sure wishes it had access to FOXFIRE's NARRATOR's RELAX-O-VISSION right now!
...NARRATOR didn't know ALUMINIUM CONSTRUCTS could BLEED like that!
Or had so many INTERNAL ORGANS!
...Not so INTERNAL right now!
VAN HALSING died in indescribable agony!
BLOODEON used FEAST!
BLOODEON happily sucked in ENTRAILS like they were SPAGHETTI!
Good girl, Bloodeon. Let's go. Figure out what we do next.
BLOODEON withdrew ELGYEM!
SHADOW withdrew BLOODEON!
...Hm.
...SHADOW threw a POKéBALL!
SHADOW caught MARIA's CORPSE?!
I refuse to lose her this time. She shouldn't decay while in there, same as Pokémon don't age or get hungry. If there's a way of saving her I will find it.
And if that means I have to tear this Version apart, grain of sand by grain of sand, to do so? Then so be it.
FORBODING CLOUD used THUNDER, RAIN, and LIGHTNING!
Are you trying to tell me I'm becoming a villain? Warn me off a path of darkness and pain?
...Yes!
Oh, please. Like this isn't your fault, both with the confusion and deciding to have the stray stake attack go her way.
Shadow watched Maria die before his eyes. This Maria was killed not by disease, but by the unrepentant cruelties of man. Well, a construct evolved from aluminium foil, at any rate. He now seeks dominion over life and death in order to bring her back to life, and his quest to obtain this has led him to get back in touch with an old friend.
Battle 88: Shadowstein Part 1: Thunder and Lightning
Location: Tails' Lab
Player: Tails (0-0-0)
SHADOW appeared!
Where'd you disappear to for this past couple of years?
Shadow: Being blackmailed by a bad personal trainer into pilates, mostly. I need your help.
...I'm not great at aerobics...
Shadow: Not with the pilates, with resurrecting the dead.
...What?!
Shadow: I need you to bring someone dead back to life.
Why are you even asking me to do that?
Shadow: Because you're both smart enough to solve the problem and too naive to betray me.
...Well, theoretically if I used some chaos emeralds and a little bit of magic, with my level of scientific expertise I might be able to jury rig something up if the corpse is fresh enough. Might need some lightning to kick start the process...
Shadow: The Narrator's been providing me plenty of that lately. It's calling it 'mood weather'.
So you're fully aware that what you're asking for flies in the face of nature alongside common decency?
Shadow: I'll let you wear a cool lab coat. Get one specially tailored for you.
With built in pocket protectors? And a matching pair of safety goggles?
Wait, what am I saying? Still no. I'm not getting bribed into defying the natural order of life!
Shadow: Well, if you're absolutely sure...
Yes, I'm sure! I may be a certified genius but I'm not a mad scientist!
Shadow: No one can accuse me of not asking nicely first.
SHADOW wants to fight!
...Don't get what you want and immediately turn to violence. I thought you'd changed. The answer's still no.
TAILS sent out TAILS!
SHADOW sent out BLOODEON!
...Huh, you started Pokémon training?
What even is that thing?
Shadow: Vampire fox Eeveelution. With emphasis on the vampire. Bloodeon, make sure to leave enough of his personality for him to do the mad science stuff when you convert him.
Convert me?
Shadow: You'll see.
BLOODEON used DRAIN!
BLOODEON drank TAILS' delicious BLOOD!
Ow! Get it off of me!
TAILS used SHAKE OFF!
No effect on enemy BLOODEON!
TAILS' BLOOD SUPPLY is DROPPING RAPIDLY!
...I feel faint...
BLOODEON used CONVERSION!
BLOODEON converted TAILS to its THRALL!
BLOODEON caught TAILS!
Shadow: Good job, buddy.
SHADOW used PET!
BLOODEON purrs happily!
Time: Later that day
Location: Blue Spheres
Player: Shadow (3-2-2)
...OK, this should be the last one he said he needed. Hope he's finished converting the lab into an appropriate venue for necromancy in the meanwhile. Just need to get one more sphere, where is it?
BUMPER appeared!
...Let's try a different direction.
BUMPER appeared!
The other different direction, then.
BUMPER appeared!
A very annoying dead end unless I want to do precision jumping. Damn. Back the way I came.
BUMPER appeared!
...Are you kidding me right now?
BUMPER wants to BUMP!
Ugh. I'll jump over it.
SHADOW used JUMP!
It's super effective!
BUMPER appeared!
...
BUMPER used BUMP!
It's super effective!
SHADOW runs backwards without losing SPEED!
BUMPER used BUMP!
It's super effective!
Back to going FORWARDS!
Ju--
BUMPER used BUMP!
It's super effective!
--mp. Damnit.
SHADOW used JUMP!
SHADOW jumped BACKWARDS!
OK. Turn, let's see where I'm going at least.
Not that there are any landmarks here.
SHADOW used TURN!
SHADOW is engaged in TURN BASED COMBAT against BUMPERS!
This counts as combat?
Close enough!
Well then. Why am I wasting time? Bloodeon, go. Send out Elgyem while you're at it.
SHADOW sent out BLOODEON!
BLOODEON sent out ELGYEM!
Bloodeon, see if Elgyem can use ESP to map out this godforsaken place.
ELGYEM used ESP!
It's not ESPECIALLY effective!
...That's not how you usually phrase that, what am I missing?
You try PUNNING three letters!
...Never mind, glad I missed it.
BUMPER used BUMP!
It's super effective!
...If you're going to invent bumpers, which you clearly are doing, at least invent red spheres so I can stop accelerating and restart.
Why does SHADOW think NARRATOR wants them to LEAVE?!
...This must be incredibly boring for you.
NARRATOR isn't particularly FOND of SHADOW's PLAN!
You didn't interfere with the zombie apocalypse before it happened, which everyone knows you could have done, why would you interfere to prevent me from bringing someone back from the dead?
SHADOW needs to LET GO!
Already have done.
So SHADOW will STOP?!
Of my inhibitions preventing me from exploring the dark magical and/or scientific arts required to bring someone back from death.
This is NEVER going to WORK!
Tails said he might be able to figure it out, and while he needed... Persuading... I trust he can do it.
TURNING someone into a VAMPIRE's THRALL isn't PERSUASION!
Worked, didn't it?
BUMPER used BUMP!
Will you cut that out?
It's super effective!
Still. If you're going to cheat...
Bloodeon, have Elgyem curl up into a ball.
ELGYEM used DEFENSIVE CURL!
ELGYEM became ROUNDER!
Indeed. Spherical, even.
If you SQUINT!
Remind me, what colour is Elgyem?
...
NARRATOR would call it a TEAL!
Which isn't a canonical colour. What colour is Elgyem, canonically?
...BLUE!
Meaning it's currently a blue sphere.
Bloodeon, recall Elgyem for me, please.
...
...
...Fine!
BLOODEON recalled ELGYEM!
SHADOW collected FINAL BLUE SPHERE!
Glad that worked. Bloodeon, return.
SHADOW recalled BLOODEON!
SHADOW got a CHAOS EMERALD!
SHADOW was EJECTED from BLUE SPHERES!
Time: Midnight
Location: Tails' Lab Necromancy Lair
Considering the short amount of time, you really did a great job on this place.
From homely to ominous in around twelve hours.
Where'd you even secure the skull from? Because I don't think our orders would have given you enough free will to nip to the Dark Chao Garden...
Really helps sell the ambience of the place.
SKY used OMINOUS THUNDERCLAP!
BLUE QUILL appeared!
...
...
...I'm going to deliberately ignore the implication there...
...Though if you're serious about what you're implying, at least he can't find out about what I'm up to and be all whiny about it...
...SHADOW is FURTHER GONE than NARRATOR thought!
Hey, if life gives you lemons, find the silver linings, right?
...SHADOW might want to check the DRAPES!
...
...
...Yeah, let's not do that.
...Especially considering I was sure that timeline he was from was erased from history, how would he even still exist to be used as curtain lining?
Time travel gives me a headache.
MOST PEOPLE just get a HEADACHE from TRYING to FORGET EVERYTHING ELSE about that INCIDENT!
Whatever. Tails, are we ready to begin the experiment?
Tails: Yes Master's Master. If I've gotten my calculations right, there's a 99% probability that the energy from the chaos emeralds will be able to reanimate a corpse when lightning strikes and this switch is flipped.
Excellent.
Maria's Corpse, go.
SHADOW sent out MARIA's CORPSE!
It's super grotesque!
I should release her, in case this works.
SHADOW released MARIA's CORPSE!
Now we just have to wait for the Narrator to provide the mood lighting it's been so fond of giving me these past few days.
Not doing it!
...Seriously?
This is OBSCENE and SHADOW needs to STOP!
...Plus NARRATOR doesn't want to deal with a SECOND SANDSHREW!
...You're worried about a Sandshrew?
Don't ask!
Do you really expect me to stop?
Without LIGHTNING to kickstart things NARRATOR doesn't see SHADOW having a CHOICE!
Then I'll use a crush attack. See if you can resist quoting Crush 40 lyrics in response.
SHADOW used CRUSH!
SHADOW won't be crushing this PLAN!
Too open ended. Fair. How about something more direct?
I'm going to put down this dumbbell I've been carrying around since I got here.
SHADOW used PUT DOWN!
SHADOW is LIGHTEN--
Nice try!
SHADOW made its LOAD LIGHTER!
SHADOW turned up the LIGHTS!
...Ugh. Fine.
SHADOW will GIVE UP?!
No. I'll just give you something I know you can't resist.
Ahem.
Once lightning strikes my plan to exert dominance over the laws of nature will finally be complete!
SHADOW used VILLAINOUS GLOAT!
Muahahahahahaha!
SHADOW used VILLAINOUS LAUGH!
OMINOUS LIGHTNING BOLT appeared!
It worked! Tails! The switch! Now!
...DAMNIT!
TAILS used SWITCH!
TAILS flipped the SWITCH!
SPARKS used FLY!
SPARKS flew up high!
POWER used CUT!
BUSH was cut down!
Huh?! MARIA's CORPSE is evolving!
MARIA's CORPSE evolved into MARIA's LIVING CORPSE!
...It worked...
I... I saved her?!
I... I Didn't lose her this time...
Maria's Living Corpse: who am i
...Oh.
In the last Battle, Shadow had Bloodeon drain Tails sufficiently to become a thrall to itself, before using his Pokémon's newly acquired Pokémon to attempt to resurrect Maria despite the Narrator's best efforts to convince him not to.
Shadow's plan worked.
...Sort of.
Battle 89: Shadowstein Part 2: Snacks and Play
Published: 14/10/23
Location: Tails' Lab Necromancy Lair
Player: Shadow (4-2-2)
Does any of that sound familiar?
Maria's Living Corpse: i only remember waking up just now
...
NARRATOR tried to WARN SHADOW not to do this!
Shut up.
Although ADMITTEDLY it went wrong DIFFERENTLY from what NARRATOR was EXPECTING!
And how were you expecting it to go wrong if her waking up with amnesia wasn't it?
...To be fair it might not have been LONG ENOUGH due to the CHANGE in BATTLE!
...Long enough for what?
Maria's Living Corpse: ...you arguing with the big booming voice is giving me a headache...
Tails, take her somewhere she can play, will you?
Tails: Yes, Master's Master
...And will you stop calling me that? It's weird.
Tails: Yes Mas-- Shadow?
Shadow works fine.
Oh, after you do that, could you pop by a grocery store to stock up on the sort of food human kids eat? Brightly coloured cereals with way too much sugar, that sort of thing.
...seriously I don't think the micicles you have in are fit for human consumption...
MICICLES! The MOUSE FLAVOURED FROZEN TREAT!
Made from REAL MICE!
Like, sure, if they cooked the mice first, but I don't think human digestive tracts are as good at processing raw meat as yours...
Tails: Yes, Shadow.
...I guess that's an improvement...
MARIA's LIVING CORPSE and TAILS went OUTSIDE!
Now, spill it instead of the prolonged "I told you so."
What were you expecting to happen and how long might it take to go wrong in that way?
MANIFESTATION of DEATH in the form of a LARGE SANDSHREW hunting MARIA's LIVING CORPSE down!
...what.
MANIFESTATION of DEATH in the form of a LARGE SANDSHREW hunting MARIA's LIVING CORPSE down!
This is hardly the time for jokes. How long do we have?
...NARRATOR is pretty sure that's not GOING to HAPPEN!
For JOEY it's every 10 LINES!
...Plus MARIA's LIVING CORPSE is clearly not MARIA!
Meaning MARIA is probably still in the LAND of the DEAD so no SANDSHREW coming to HUNT them DOWN!
Of course she's Maria, what else could she be?
A PARODY of LIFE created by a HEDGEHOG and the FOX they FORCED to do their BIDDING in an EFFORT to DEFY the LAWS of NATURE rather than to ACCEPT LOSS?!
...Since when have you respected the laws of nature, anyway?
NARRATOR knows what it's DOING!
...Could have fooled me with the Gosslords...
...USUALLY!
Location: Saffron City Park (Entrance)
Player: Tails (0-1-0)
Well, here we are. Somewhere you can play safely.
Maria's Living Corpse: will you accompany me further
...
...
...I absolutely should, but I can't will myself to go further than this due to my instruction being to take you somewhere you can play and then pick up food better suited to human child palettes than my own.
Maria's Living Corpse: what should i do
...Have fun? Whatever that means for you. Maybe talk to some other kids about your age and see if they're up for playing with you?
Maria's Living Corpse: ok
MARIA's LIVING CORPSE went off to PLAY!
...This is a terrible idea but Bloodeon's mind control is compelling me to do the groceries now...
Location: Saffron City Library
Player: Shadow (4-2-2)
SHADOW used REFERENCE!
SHADOW referenced ADDRESS DIRECTORY!
...Ugh, why does this thing require knowing surnames? Who even uses those?
No effect!
Aside from my frustration. This thing is useless!
Normally PLAYERS who want to LOOK UP each other's ADDRESS consult NARRATOR to arrange a MEETING!
And you're refusing to cooperate with me!
Does SHADOW really think INTRODUCING MARIA's LIVING CORPSE to their MOTHER and FATHER is going to make things BETTER?!
...I'm trying to kickstart Maria's memory here, maybe meeting her family will bring something back.
MARIA is DEAD!
SHADOW needs to ACCEPT that!
Tails brought her back.
TAILS injected LIFE into MARIA's CORPSE!
Whatever MARIA's LIVING CORPSE is it isn't MARIA!
...She's from Cerulean, right? Maybe I could just... Knock on everyone's houses. Maybe that would work. Can't take me more than fifteen minutes to figure out if anyone's lost their daughter recently... Can't happen that often...
...
...How often do you narrate the deaths of children?
It isn't that!
...Her family know she died, right?
...
...Well at least as far as they'll know she's just got amnesia...
Aside from the LACK of PULSE, BREATHING, and MARIA's LIVING CORPSE just generally being a ZOMBIE without the CONTAGEON PART?!
...And the NAME being MARIA's LIVING CORPSE rather than MARIA!
That one would KIND OF be a GIVEAWAY!
You can fix that.
NARRATOR cannot!
Why not?!
Because for the 12th time, MARIA's LIVING CORPSE is not MARIA!
...why didn't you tell them she was dead?
...NARRATOR didn't know how SHADOW's PLAN was going to SHAKE OUT!
You were trying to stop me!
Only because it was an OBVIOUSLY TERRIBLE IDEA on so many LEVELS!
...Not because NARRATOR didn't WANT it to WORK with ZERO COMPLICATIONS!
...Huh?
Does SHADOW think NARRATOR enjoys NARRATING the DEATH of CHILDREN?!
...Even after NARRATOR's EXPERIENCES with BEN!
Then why do you do it?
NARRATOR only INFLUENCES REALITY, it doesn't have FULL CONTROL over it!
...
...
...You're even more useless than I thought you were after it turned out I can move when you're not around.
...
...So how am I going to find Maria's parents so I can kickstart her memory?
...Or phrase things if I do since they don't even know she died let alone came back to life.
MARIA didn't COME BACK to LIFE!
Sure she did. Tails took her to the park to play while we had an argument that was giving her a headache.
MARIA's LIVING CORPSE is not MARIA!
13 times now!
Not that NARRATOR is COUNTING!
Whatever.
...NARRATOR will give SHADOW their NUMBER, OK?!
Location: Saffron City Park (Lakeside)
Player: Youngster Bobby (0-1-1)
BOBBY used DRAW!
BOBBY drew a CARD!
CARD has a PICTURE of a PIDGEY on that YOUNGSTER BOBBY drew!
...It tends to be more fun when you let me actually draw rather than use puns to prevent that.
MARIA's LIVING CORPSE appeared!
...Wait isn't that the girl I...
...SORT OF!
I'm so sorry for talking your ear off. I just get a bit ranty when I get anxious and between the Gosslords and my claustrophobia, that was not a healthy place for me to be in.
Maria's Living Corpse: i don't remember my past life
Wait, living corpse? What... Happened to you?
Maria's Living Corpse: i don't really know
Maria's Living Corpse: suddenly i was awake and my fathers were sad
Maria's Living Corpse: from what they said i don't think they were my fathers before i lost my memory
...
...
So, what's your favourite Pokémon? Mine's Pidgey.
Location: Johto to Kanto Bullet Train
Player: Mom Jean (1-1-0)
...OK... I think hedgehogs are insectivores, so grubs should work well. Oh, Can they eat chocolate or are they more like dogs in that way?
What's JEAN talking about?!
Well, considering how he's had to cancel due to business a couple of times now, I wanted to make sure he didn't think I blamed him for it by way of a small gift, but I'm getting inconsistent results into what hedgehogs like to eat.
...And... JEAN is thinking...?!
Either candied or chocolate coated grubs?
...
...
...CHOCOLATE is TOXIC to HEDGEHOGS!
So go for candied instead, then?
As ANNOYING as NARRATOR is finding SHADOW lately, yes!
But if JEAN wants to go with LARVAE then MAGGOTS rather than GRUBS would be more APPROPRIATE!
OK, you're apparently really annoyed at him right now.
...NARRATOR just meant HEDGEHOGS tend to eat FLY LARVAE rather than BEETLE LARVAE but that too!
Location: Maria's House
Player: Dad Monty(0-0-0)
PHONE used RING!
Monty used ANSWER!
...Hello?
...You have my daughter? Is she ok? We haven't seen or heard from her in weeks, and the Narrator's been weirdly avoidant in answering our questions about her.
...Recovered from what?
...Why didn't you tell us she'd been injured sooner? Or the Narrator.
...That's more of a dodge than an answer. Where is she?
...The... Former Laboratory on the outskirts of Saffron City? We'll be right over.
Narrator, is what the person on the other end of the line said true?
...MOSTLY!
...Mostly?
NARRATOR thinks SHADOW BELIEVES what they said!
...Although INJURED was UNDERSELLING it!
Underselling what.
...NARRATOR was also HOPING that what SHADOW said was going to be TRUE!
Underselling. What.
...NARRATOR probably should have mentioned this EARLIER but MARIA was killed by a VAMPIRE HUNTER a few weeks ago!
...
MONTY lost COLOUR!
...
MONTY fell into CHAIR!
...
Location: Saffron City Park (Lakeside)
Player: Youngster Bobby (0-1-1)
So, how Pidgeys and Spearows works is that one of the folk playing plays as a Spearow and attempts to tag the other players, who are playing as Pidgeys. If there were more of us than two we'd need to get into the details of what happens. Since there's just two of us it's basically just chase.
Got it?
Maria's Living Corpse: i understand
I'll start out playing a Pidgey, obviously, you just need to tag me and you win.
Maria's Living Corpse: ok
BOBBY used RUN!
MARIA's LIVING CORPSE used CHASE!
CHILDREN both LIVING and UNDEAD are having FUN!
MARIA's LIVING CORSPE used TAG!
AIM was a LITTLE HIGH!
BOBBY was TAGGED in the HEAD!
MARIA's LIVING CORPSE is UNAWARE of OWN STRENGTH!
BOBBY's SKULL's STRUCTURAL INTENSITY greatly fell!
MARIA's LIVING CORPSE's tag attack kept going and crashed...
...Into BOBBY's BRAIN!
BOBBY died!
Maria's Living Corpse: my hand is all sticky now
MARIA's LIVING CORPSE used GIGGLE!
Maria's Living Corpse: did i win
Maria's Living Corpse: ...
Maria's Living Corpse: ...
Maria's Living Corpse: ...bobby why aren't you moving
Maria's Living Corpse: ...
Maria's Living Corpse: ...
Maria's Living Corpse: ...i don't like this game anymore...
Last time, Shadow attempted to find Maria's parents, Tails went shopping, Jean took a train ride, and Maria's Living Corpse played a Pidgey themed tag variant with Bobby.
Battle 90: Shadowstein Part 3: Parents and Responsibilities
Published:21/10/23
Location: Tails' Lab Necromancy Lair
Player: Shadow (4-2-3)
TAILS appeared!
Great. What did you get Maria?
TAILS puts away POT NOODLES!
...Still not really fit for human consumption but at least it's sold as food to humans rather than foxes...
Tails: Pikachu flavour was on offer so I mainly went for that...
Only way they can GET RID of that FLAVOUR!
Most people find it TOO DEPRESSING a CONCEPT to EAT!
...That just emphasizes my point.
...Wait, where's Maria?
Tails: Your orders were to take her somewhere she could play and then do shopping, which didn't permit me the flexibility to stay with her and grab the shopping on the way back with her like I wanted to.
...Where'd you take her?
Tails: The city's park.
Well, I guess she's probably fine, then.
MARIA's LIVING CORPSE is FINE!
Well, that confirms we've got...
Wait. That was way too specific. We need to get to the park, now.
Location: Saffron City Station Store
Player: Mom Jean (1-1-1)
...I forgot how overpriced station shops were. That much for that small of a bag of candied maggots?
Most consider thier CUSTOMERS to be CAPTIVE!
They view us as Pokémon?
...NARRATOR wasn't talking LITERALLY!
Makes a change.
Does JEAN want to PURCHASE their CANDIED MAGGOTS without getting into a BATTLE or not?!
Oh. Pikachu flavour pot noodles are on offer. That was always Joey's favourite...
...
Location: Saffron City Park: Riverside
Player: Shadow (4-2-3)
SHADOW and TAILS appeared!
There she is!
MARIA's LIVING CORPSE used POKE!
No effect on BOBBY!
Maria's Living Corpse: ...why aren't you moving...
What's wrong?
Maria's Living Corpse: i played pidgeys and spearows with him like he said and he stopped moving when i tagged him
SHADOW moved to a POSITION where they were better able to see BOBBY's CORPSE!
...Where did you tag him?
Maria's Living Corpse: his head
Where the hole is?
Maria's Living Corpse: he didn't have the hole before i tagged him
Kind of figured that. Tails? Can you...
Tails: ...If you're asking what I think you're asking, please don't make me do it. Even if it were ethical to mess with the forces of life and death like that I don't know how survivable that size of a wound would be. Also, I think Maria has some of his brains on her hand, and we've seen what the process does to the memories of a person with an intact brain.
Yeah, figured it would be a bad idea given the... Yeah...
Maria's Living Corpse: my hand got sticky when i tagged him
...I'm sure it did.
Maria, let's go back to Tails's lab and I can talk to you about... Why Bobby stopped moving.
Maria's Living Corpse: ok
Location: Tails' Lab Necromancy Lair (Exterior)
Player: Dad Monty (0-0-1)
We want to see what this monster did to her before...
NARRATOR thinks SHADOW had the BEST of INTENTIONS!
...NARRATOR also tried to STOP them while HOPING the PLAN would work!
It's a necromancy lair exterior.
Mum Molly: ...We need to see whatever he's done before we figure out what to do.
...Yeah.
Location: Tails' Lab Necromancy Lair
MONTY and MOLLY appeared!
Where is she.
Shadow: Oh. Glad you both came. Now, she seems to have amnesia, I'm hoping the sight of the two of you will help--
Shut up and show her to us.
Shadow: ...Right. Of course. Maria, could you come through? There are two people here to see you.
MARIA's LIVING CORPSE appeared!
...
Mum Molly: ...
Shadow: Anything?
Maria's Living Corpse: i don't remember anything
...what did you do to her?
Shadow: I saved her after she...
...That... Narrator, is there anything of her in there?
Not as far as NARRATOR can tell!
Shadow: Of course it's her! She just lost her memory in the process!
Mum Molly: We... We should leave.
...
MONTY and MOLLY ran away!
Maria's Living Corpse: bye
Shadow: What is their problem?!
...NARRATOR thinks that should be OBVIOUS!
Location: Just Dune It Gym (Exterior)
Player: Mom Jean (1-1-1)
Seems to be closed...
SHADOW is ELSEWHERE!
Could you cut that out and just tell me where he is since I'm here?
There's a FORMER LAB on the OUTSKIRTS of the CITY!
...What is it now?
...A NECROMANCY LAIR!
...Why's he in a Necromancy Lair?
JEAN knows how SHADOW was having those BAD DREAMS when you met?!
...Yeah, he said that he'd lost someone by the same name as his new--
...Directions. Now.
Location: Location: Tails' Lab Necromancy Lair
Player: Shadow (4-2-3)
...Tails, what do we do now? Seeing her parents didn't get her memory back and the cold hearted monsters ran away from her.
Tails: ...The enthrallment to Umbreon is preventing me from telling you exactly what's going on and giving you the kick to the chaos emeralds you deserve right now.
MOM JEAN appeared!
Jean! Lovely to see you. Sorry I kept having to cancel, I got caught up in trying to turn the gym into lemonade and then the Martian, and then...
...And then I needed to save Maria.
Mom Jean: How'd that go?
Great! Apart from the amnesia, she's fine.
Also the general PALE DEMEANOR, the lack of PULSE and the fact that you HAD YOUR POKéMON MIND CONTROL TAILS in order to have them MESS with the FORCES of LIFE and DEATH!
Mom Jean: ...Can I see her, just to see exactly what you've done?
Sure. Maria, someone else is here to see you. I'm pretty sure she's not going to run away.
Mom Jean: ...Someone else?
MARIA's LIVING CORPSE appeared!
Mom Jean: ...
Mom Jean: ...
Mom Jean: ...Hey there.
Maria's Living Corpse: hi
Mom Jean: Well, you can talk. That's a good sign. Do you have any interests?
Maria's Living Corpse: i don't remember anything from before i woke but i enjoyed playing pidgeys and spearows with bobby until he stopped moving
We talked about that, remember? It's not your fault, but the word is died. He's... He's not around any more.
Maria's Living Corpse: i enjoyed playing pidgeys and spearows with bobby until he died
Mom Jean: Well I'm sure you'll find more things you enjoy.
See, she's fine apart from the memory loss.
Mom Jean: ...What memory loss?
...She... Can't remember anything from before...
Mom Jean: I can't remember anything from before I was born. I'm sure you can't, either.
...Her memories don't go back that far.
Mom Jean: That's not Maria.
Clearly, it's--
Mom Jean: No. I need you to listen to me. I'm sure whoever that is will turn out to be a wonderful person if raised with care, but whoever that is. She isn't Maria. She's a new person. I know it hurts, but I need you to accept Maria's gone.
...She's. Maria. Or what was the point in--
MOM JEAN used WAKE UP SLAP!
It's super stinging!
...
...
...What have I done...
SHADOW came to their SENSES?!
...I... What do I do now?
Mom Jean: The Narrator said something about Mind Control, maybe start by undoing that. Oh, while you're at it, you said something about someone else being here to see Maria? Who saw her before me?
...Right. Yeah. Hopefully, with it not being the full process Bloodeon will be able to undo it. Bloodeon, go.
SHADOW sent out BLOODEON!
Bloodeon, release Tails.
BLOODEON used UNCONVERSION!
While that... Disturbing sight... Is going on, I was hoping seeing her former self's parents would help spark some memories?
BLOODEON released TAILS!
Bloodeon, return.
SHADOW recalled BLOODEON!
TAILS used LOW KICK!
It's super effective!
...Oof.
...Yeah, I deserved that.
Mom Jean: Maria's Parents saw... Look, I know she's not Maria but I refuse to call her what the Narrator's calling her?
...Yeah, why?
Mom Jean: ...We need to get out of here. Fast. Because--
BAYING MOB appeared OUTSIDE!
Mom Jean: ...I'm pretty sure if someone showed me the reanimated corpse of my dead son I'd respond similarly to that.
...Err...
...What is it?
NARRATOR will LEAVE IT until after this CRISIS!
Way too COMPLICATED to DEAL WITH now!
TAILS used SECURITY DOOR!
TAILS sealed the ENTRANCE to the NECROMANCY LAIR!
Tails: There's a bi-plane in the back. Getting four of us into a two seater is going to be a bit of a squeeze, but I think we can manage it.
BAYING MOB want to ARSON!
Tails: ...And we apparently need to hurry, most of this is made out of wood. And the... Decor... I redid it in while Bloodeon's thrall is probably also flammable.
OUTSIDE of the HEDGEHOG SKULL!
Tails: ...I was trying to not think about that, thanks.
...Yeah, do you remember if...
Tails: ...I don't, no. And I would really rather not.
BAYING MOB used ARSON!
Its super effective!
TAILS's Lab NECROMANCY LAIR was renamed TAILS's INFERNO
Location: Tails' Inferno
Half of BAYING MOB move to JUST DUNE IT GYM to BURN that DOWN as well!
...I wish I'd thought of that before Jim lumbered me with it
FLAMES used RAGE!
Maria's Living Corpse: aaaagh
Carry.
SHADOW used CARRY!
SHADOW carried MARIA's LIVING CORPSE protectively!
Tails: It should be through here.
TAILS grabbed JEAN's HAND!
TAILS and JEAN ran to TORNADO 3!
BURNING BEAM used FALL!
BURNING BEAM cut SHADOW off from TORNADO 3!
Not. Today.
SHADOW used ACROBATIC LEAP!
SHADOW lept over BURNING BEAM spectacularly!
We need to get out of here now.
Tails: Sorry, I need the front to myself to pilot the thing.
TAILS climbed in FRONT!
SHADOW, JEAN and MARIA's LIVING CORPSE climb in BACK SEAT!
TORNADO 3 used TAKEOFF!
TORNADO 3 flew through FLAMES!
It's super dramatic looking!
TORNADO 3 and OCCUPANTS ran away!
Location: Skies Over Kanto
Player: Maria's Living Corpse (1-1-1)
Shadow: ...I can't keep calling you Maria, and I need the Narrator to stop calling you what it's been calling you.
ok
Shadow: This should be your decision, though. What do you want to be called?
...
Mom Jean: Do you know any names? I'm kind of unclear how that would work since you came into existence with full linguistic capabilities. And enough sense to be scared of fire.
...
...i like the name beth
MARIA's LIVING CORPSE was renamed BETH!
Tails: ...Where to?
Mom Jean: Johto. I can give the three of you a roof until you find somewhere suitable.
Tails: ...Err...?
Shadow: ...I think what she means is we're dads now?
Tails: WHAT?!
TORNADO 3 experienced MASSIVE TURBULANCE as PILOT had BRIEF MOMENT of SHOCK!
Shadow: Well, I provided the raw materials and you set everything up so that the process would inject life into her...
Tails: ...Yeah. I guess we did bring her into the world together...
Huh? SHADOW is evolving!
Huh? TAILS is evolving!
SHADOW evolved into DAD SHADOW!
TAILS evolved into DAD TAILS!