When we last saw Joanne, she was calling for a locksmith after a Klefki locked her inside her own house by stealing her last pair of keys. Following this, she finds herself in need of a couple of extra pairs.
Battle 16: Killing Time
Published: 23/04/22
Location: Sand Cobblers
Player: Joanne Bloggs (2-1-0)
Cobbler Cole: Would you like a cobbler with your keys?
Yeah, I think so. Blueberry, I think.
...I kind of get key cutting being part of the services offered by a cobblers, but... Pastries?
NARRATOR suggested it!
...And suddenly it makes sense.
Cobbler Cole: I think I can get you your... 100... keys in about 6 hours?
It says within one hour on the sign...
Cobbler Cole: That's assuming a sensible amount of keys being cut at once.
Cobbler Cole: I have other things to do.
Oh. Right. Yeah. Most people probably haven't been going through keys at a similarly ludicrous rate as I have lately.
Cobbler Cole: Narrator related?
NARRATOR resents that accusation!
...Some of them, but the last one that caused me to need to call an actual locksmith in was a random wild Pokémon that got into my house somehow.
NARRATOR would appreciate not being accused of LOSING JOANNE's KEYS!
My appologies. You didn't lose any of them.
Much better!
You destroyed 12 in puns, used 5 in the construction of bridges, again due to puns, and used 3 in a musical remix. Again, because of puns. And then my last key was stolen by that Klefki.
JOANNE should appreciate the MUSIC NARRATOR provided them with!
Three key changes in a three minute pop song is overkill.
Cobbler Cole: ...Your cobbler's ready.
Cheers.
JOANNE used EAT!
JOANNE ate BLUEBERRY COBBLER!
Delicious. See you in six hours when the keys are cut.
JOANNE left SAND COBBLERS!
Location: Palm Tree Park
Bit far to get home and back from here, and I didn't bring my laptop with me so can't get any work done...
Guess I just need to kill six hours...
JOANNE used KILL!
Wait, no I didn--
TIME died!
EVERYTHING STOPPED for EVERYONE but NARRATOR and JOANNE!
...Suddenly I can't see anything...
LIGHT no longer is TRAVELLING into JOANNE's EYES!
...You could just... Narrate that I can see?
NARRATOR doesn't feel like it!
Great. Lovely. Nothing but the sound of your voice to keep me company for... How long are you going to keep this charade up for?
TIME no longer EXISTS!
ONE SECOND and ALL ETERNITY are all the same now!
Umm... So what's your plan with taking this literally?
Huh?
Well, you usually get bored if nothing interesting is happening for at least 25 people at once, right?
...Err...
And now, thanks to your narration, you're stuck with me doing nothing for... However long before you end this charade.
NARRATOR doesn't always THINK through its JOKES!
...I see...
JOANNE doesn't!
...I meant figuratively.
So, maybe bring time back to life?
NARRATOR doesn't want to yet!
Huh?
NARRATOR could use some TIME to THINK!
...You killed time.
NARRATOR doesn't get much opportunity to be ALONE with its THOUGTHS with all the NARRATION it has to do!
You're not alone, I'm here.
NARRATOR doesn't want OTHERS to HEAR what NARRATOR is NARRATING!
Again, I'm here.
JOANNE is the closest thing NARRATOR has to a FRIEND!
...But I hate you...
...EXACTLY!
You... What?
EVERYONE ELSE is NEUTRAL towards NARRATOR!
EVERYONE ELSE views NARRATOR as either a GOD to be either OPPOSED or DIFFERENTIATED to or a NATURAL FORCE!
...But, you are? Like Gravity. And nominative determinism.
How does JOANNE feel about GRAVITY?!
Well, it's there. Sometimes useful, sometimes inconvenient. I don't think I've ever really thought about gravity? Used it to my advantage sometimes, but... Not given it two thoughts?
Precisely!
That's how EVERYONE but JOANNE thinks about NARRATOR!
JOANNE is the only PLAYER who has any strong EMOTIONAL feelings towards NARRATOR!
Even PEOPLE who get CHATTY with NARRATOR don't really get EMOTIONALLY INVESTED with it!
And those who view it as a GOD tend to view it more as a PUZZLE than an ENTITTY to be EMOTIONALLY INVESTED in!
...Err...
JOANNE having a HUMAN EMOTION towards NARRATOR means that JOANNE is the closest thing NARRATOR has to a FRIEND!
...I... Err... Think I get it?
Why does JOANNE think NARRATOR makes their life so INTERESTING!
That's one of the reasons I hate you?
It's a wonderful FEEDBACK LOOP!
NARRATOR trusts JOANNE will keep anything NARRATOR NARRATES in the STRICTEST of CONFIDENCE!
...Err...
NARRATOR doesn't usually need FRIENDS!
...Well this conversation just took a horrible turn...
NARRATOR could make JOANNE's life far less PLEASANT if NARRATOR wanted!
Wow, you're admitting you're not entirely neutral. That's novel.
Only JOANNE can hear!
We all know you're not a neutral party, but have an agenda.
Most people just ignore it because, well, how would anything happen without you?
NARRATOR could probably RESTORE TIME without freeing JOANNE from this timeless VOID!
...Yeah. I get it. Somehow I hate you even more now, but I'll play along and not reveal anything you Narrate here.
Still going to moan about you not being neutral because I already moaned about that before you narrated it.
Someone would know something's up if I stopped.
NARRATOR isn't concerned about that!
NARRATOR will let JOANNE know what JOANNE musn't tell!
Fine. I'll be your rubber duck.
Huh? JOANNE BLOGGS is evolving!
Me and my big mouth...
JOANNE BLOGGS evolved into RUBBER DUCK!
...
RUBBER DUCK is inanimate!
...NARRATOR has no need to THREATEN RUBBER DUCK!
NARRATOR is at no risk of NARRATOR's SECRETS being REVEALED!
...This is a much better IDEA than confiding in the closest thing NARRATOR has to a FRIEND!
NARRATOR would appreciate if READERS didn't overhear!
...But TIME is currently DEAD so TIME HEADING wouldn't work!
...Hm...
Maybe a SCENE HEADING will still work?!
Scene: After Narrator Narrated Its Thoughts
That was EXTREMELY USEFUL!
NARRATOR used DEVOLUTION SPRAY on RUBBER DUCK!
Huh? RUBBER DUCK is devolving!
RUBBER DUCK devolved into JOANNE BLOGGS!
...It feels like something happened but I have no clue what...
NARRATOR has finished!
You didn't Narrate anything to me!
JOANNE was INANIMATE at the time!
...Err...
NARRATOR will send JOANNE a gift basket to thank them for the IDEA!
JOANNE has no CONFIDENTIAL information!
NARRATOR has no need to threaten JOANNE!
...Right... Yay?
NARRATOR now needs to resussitate TIME!
...Well?
...NARRATOR isn't entirely sure HOW!
...This is doing nothing to improve my opinion of you, you know.
JOANNE will have to fix this!
HOW?!
NARRATOR was riffing on JOANNE's SPEECH when TIME DIED!
How is this my fault?!
JOANNE should SAY STUFF until a pun REVIVES TIME!
...How the hell is a natural force so bloody incompetent...
A stitch in time saves nine?
TIME was STITCHED!
But TIME is ALREADY DEAD!
No effect!
Remaining NINE STITCHES are no longer REQUIRED!
A stopped clock is right twice a day?
STOPPED CLOCK appeared!
...That's it!
STOPPED CLOCK wants to fight!
...If I win the fight this nonsense will end?
No!
If JOANNE gets the CLOCK working TIME will be revived and NARRATOR and JOANNE will no longer be the only things moving!
I still can't see, you know!
Phone, go.
JOANNE sent out PHONE!
STOPPED CLOCK sent out STOPPED CLOCK!
STOPPED CLOCK is STOPPED!
STOPPED CLOCK skipped its turn!
...Can we take that as read just so you don't have to keep saying it?
...Sure!
Phone, what time is it?
PHONE used SPEAKING CLOCK!
Is that even still a--
JOANNE should be CAREFUL with what JOANNE says!
...Oh. Right. Yes. Speaking clock. Been a while since I used that.
JOANNE knows EXACT TIME!
Phone, return.
JOANNE withdrew PHONE!
Me, Go.
JOANNE sent out JOANNE!
Clock set.
JOANNE used CLOCK SET!
JOANNE SET BROKEN CLOCK!
But JOANNE still cant SEE due to lack of PHOTON MOVEMENT!
Forward, forward!
Too far, JOANNE needs to go the whole way AROUND again!
STOP!
JOANNE eventually SET BROKEN CLOCK!
Battery change.
JOANNE changed the UNIVERSAL CONCEPT of TIME's BATTERIES!
...It's surprisingly easy!
Huh? STOPPED CLOCK is evolving!
STOPPED CLOCK evolved into CLOCK!
TIME was fully revived!
Oh thank goodness I can see again.
CLOCK is no longer STOPPED!
CLOCK can now act on its turns!
Come on, can't we just--
CLOCK used CLOCK!
JOANNE was CLOCKED!
Ow, that hit surprisingly hard for a clockwork device...
JOANNE was sent hurtling through time by the BLOW!
Wait, what?
Time: 6 Hours Later
...I... Guess it's time to pick up my keys, then? Thanks?
Consider this the GIFT BASKET!
...Did I win that fight? I don't really care, but... I don't see the clock anywhere?
JOANNE left the arena SIX HOURS AGO!
JOANNE therefore FORFEITED the match!
I... Guess that makes sense?
Ben, having had his Rattata stolen from him by Red, has given his Big Brother a call for help. We join Big Bro Jacob, who's working in Johto, during that conversation.
Battle 17: A Brother on Call.
Published: 30/04/22
Location: Route 36
Player: Big Bro Jacob (0-0-0)
He stole your Ekans?
No. No trouble at all. I can swing back easy enough. Family comes first.
HAH! Don't think mum'll like that. But, hey, it's personal for you. I'll try and talk her into it.
Love you. See you soon, little bud.
JACOB used END!
But battle hasn't even ended yet!
Yeah, apparently the Narrator doesn't want the call to end yet. Not sure what it expects me to do while on the phone, mind.
PHONE doesn't want to leave BATTLE yet!
...Err...
WILD PHONE wants to fight!
...Really? While I'm using it? Not as I'm about to?
Ben, you might want to... Not have the phone next to your ears, I've no idea how this is going to go audio wise...
...OK, yeah, I guess that was obvious. In case the phone faints or dies or something, love you again.
...Hm, I still need to figure this one out, so... Grindstone, go.
JACOB sent out GRINDSTONE!
PHONE sent out PHONE!
I think you're a rock type, so... Rock throw?
GRINDSTONE used ROCK THROW!
GRINDSTONE threw a ROCK at PHONE!
PHONE rolled out of the way!
PHONE used RING!
WRESTLING RING appeared!
BATTLE ARENA is now what is within the RING!
...It really does feel like you've been on a lot more sugar this past few months...
No matter, Grindstone, try and get the phone on the ropes.
GRINDSTONE used ROPE!
GRINDSTONE aquired SOAP!
...Err...
SOAP was on ROPE!
PHONE used DIAL!
PHONE adjusts the DIAL
JACOB's connection to BATTLE went FUZZY!
*bzzzt* --to see-- *bzzzt* --you maybe-- *bzzzt* --if that-- *bzzzt*
GRINDSTONE is struggling to make out JACOB's orders!
GRINDSTONE used YOU MAYBE!
EWE appeared!
EWE may BE!
EWE may NOT BE!
EWE is having an existential crises!
EWE half vanished from existance!
EWE was renamed EV!
PHONE ate EV!
PHONE's EVs greatly rose!
EV fainted!
But EEVEE is not here!
PHONE used HOME!
GRINDSTONE went back HOME to its POKéBALL!
*bzzzt* --think hap-- *bzzzt* --I think-- *bzzzt* --out a-- *bzzzt* --mon.
Bidoof-- *bzzt*
JACOB sent out BIDOOF!
*bzzzt* --water gun!
BIDOOF used WATER GUN!
PHONE used SPLASH PROOF!
EVERYTHING is SPLASH PROOF!
SPLASH is useless!
No effect!
PHONE is in critical condition!
*bzzzt* --Pokéball at-- *bzzzt*
JACOB threw a POKéBALL at PHONE!
PHONE was caught!
STATIC cleared!
That was incredibly difficult to see what was happening, there... But I seem to have won.
Can I send out my newly caught phone, see if Ben's still on the line?
JACOB withdrew BIDOOF!
JACOB sent out PHONE!
PHONE is in critical condition!
No signal!
Dang.
Better get going, my brother needs my help.
Catherine Fennel ran away from Gossip Gus after Gossip Gus evolved into the brain consuming Pokémon Gosslord, locking the door behind her. Gus's manager, Mike, has finally gotten around to calling in Hugh Reigns, head of Sand Fox HR.
Battle 18: Office Gossip
Published: 07/05/22
Location: Sand Fox Corporate Headquarters
Player: Hugh Reigns (0-0-0)
What do you mean he's been in there for five weeks?
Manager Mike: Door refuses to budge.
How is he still alive?
Manager Mike: The last person who saw him muttered something about him being rumour obsessed, so we're assuming he's using twitter it as some form of food source.
...Why did you wait five weeks before calling me in?
Manager Mike: Well, I assumed he was just working late but even by video game industry standards five weeks without seeing friends or family is starting to be a bit much. And I don't think he's actually doing anything in there aside from checking twitter.
Let's see if the Narrator lets me get through the door...
HUGH REIGNS used PASS!
HUGH REIGNS passed GO!
HUGH REIGNS collects 200 Sand Bits!
HUGH REIGNS passed through DOOR!
...Err... Right... Yeah. That works.
GOSSLORD appeared!
Now... Gus, is it? There are a lot of computers in this room for just one person, and you've been in here for a long time without a break. Maybe it's time to head home, take a shower, and come back in 16 hours recharged and refreshed?
GOSSLORD is getting tired of a diet of TWITTER GOSSIP!
GOSSLORD wants FIRST HAND GOSSIP!
GOSSLORD wants to fight!
...Ah...
...I don't actually have any Pokémon...?
HUGH REIGNS sent out HUGH REIGNS!
GOSSLORD learnt from its mistake sending out TWITTER against CATHERINE!
GOSSLORD sent out GOSSLORD!
GOSSLORD used CRUNCH!
Now, now. While we appreciate your work ethic here at Sand Fox, but we prefer the term Voluntary Overtime.
HUGH REIGNS used PR SPEAK!
GOSSLORD has been in the office for FIVE WEEKS!
No amount of PR SPEAK can hide that this is clearly CRUNCH!
HUGH REIGNS' skull made a distinct CRUNCH sound!
Ow!
GOSSLORD used GASTRO ACID!
Head prize?
GOSSLORD seeped STOMACHE ACID into cracks in HUGH REIGNS' PRIZE HEAD!
HUGH REIGNS' crunched skull started DIGESTING!
Aaaaarrrrrrgggghhh!
GOSSLORD used SWALLOW!
Resist!
HUGH REIGNS used RESIST!
HUGH REIGNS finds RESISTANCE FUTILE!
GOSSLORD SWALLOWED HUGH REIGNS' tasty BRAIN!
Huh? HUGH REIGNS is evolving!
HUGH REIGNS evolved into GOSSLORD!
GOSSLORD is now allied with GOSSLORD!
MANAGER MIKE used REINFORCE!
DOOR was REINFORCED!
MANAGER MIKE ran away!
Red, having previously done what a lot of players wanted to do when playing Red/Blue and joined Team Rocket following the Bridge gang sequence, stole Ben's Ekans, and is now on his first official mission with Team Rocket. We join him and fellow new Rocket recruit Grant as they follow their orders.
Battle 19: Library Brawl
Published: 14/05/22
Location: Saffron City Library
Player: Rocket Grant (0-0-0)
Well... We're here.
ROCKET RED appeared!
Stealing a book from a library was not what I was expecting my first official mission to be.
Rocket Red: ...
Yeah, I know, protagonist type. I need to do the talking for both of us.
LIBRARIAN LIBBY appeared!
Ah, excellent. We're looking for the book The Proper Use Of Tildes and hear you have a copy?
Librarian Libby: We do not have a copy of that book.
You don't? Couldn't you at least check the files or something?
LIBRARIAN LIBBY used GLARE!
ROCKET GRANT's urge to be SILENT sharply rose!
No effect on ROCKET RED!
...Why only me?
INFINITY + 1 is still INFINITY!
Librarian Libby: As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me. We do not have a copy of that book. We have the only copy. In existence. Ever.
...Huh? Couldn't someone make a copy?
Librarian Libby: We have been trying to make a copy for the past 5 years. Digital copies delete themselves and corrupt the computer they're on, physical ones cause the pages to crumble into sand. The one time we tried to make an online copy it caused an entire web server to disintegrate.
Act of Narrator?
NARRATOR just NARRATES!
NARRATOR has no CONTROL of REALITY!
...
Librarian Libby: ...
Rocket Red: ...
Just to check the meaning of that deafening silence, none of us buy a word of that, right?
Librarian Libby: Absolutely. Though... Analysis indicates that in this one case, the Narrator really didn't cause it.
Librarian Libby: ...Of course, since the Narrator narrated the results of that analysis... We can't really be sure of it's accuracy.
NARRATOR does not ENJOY having its UNBIASED NARRATION questioned!
Says the red text who's happy to accept bribes from big corporations with big pockets.
Also 8 YEAR OLDS with JOKE BOOK money!
...That's... Anyway...
Can we take out the book?
Librian Libby: Internal use only, but you can read it over all you like. Follow me to the archive.
LIBRARIAN LIBBY used GUIDE!
LIBRARIAN LIBBY guided ROCKET RED and ROCKET GRANT to ARCHIVE!
Location: Saffron City Library Archive
ROCKET RED appeared!
...Where's Libby?
BATHROOM!
...Huh...
ROCKET RED wants to know what use READING a BOOK is to STEALING it!
ROCKET RED remembers being under STRICT instructions not to read BOOK!
We're not going to read it. We just need to know where it is so that we can take--
LIBRARIAN LIBBY appeared!
--it into account with the PR posters we're meant to be writing.
Rocket Red: ...
LIBRARIAN LIBBY pulled out OMINOUS BLUE TOME!
Just being in the same room as that thing is giving me the heeby geebies.
Librarian Libby: It has that effect on people, yes.
Librarian Libby: I presume you want to leave now without reading it. Most people do.
Rocket Red: ...
Nah. This is a grab and go run. We're stealing it.
...I just wish we didn't have to touch it to steal it...
Librarian Libby: I cannot allow that. Knowledge, even knowledge no one wants to access, should be free.
ROCKET RED sent out EKANS!
Zubat, go!
LIBRARIAN LIBBY sent out LOUDRED and NOIBAT!
...Those... Aren't the Pokémon I expected you to have, honestly.
Librarian Libby: Yeah, I get that a lot.
Librarian Libby: It's kind of a problem when I need to send them out on the main floor.
Zubat, supersonic.
ZUBAT used SUPERSONIC!
LOUDRED used SCREECH!
NOIBAT used ROUND!
ZUBAT, LOUDRED and NOIBAT started SCREECHING an ENTHUSIASTIC but PAINFUL rendition of DON'T STOP ME NOW as a ROUND!
...make it stop...
ZUBAT, LOUDRED and NOIBAT insist that ROCKET GRANT not STOP them!
Some might argue MUSICALLY so!
What people would argue that carcophony's music?
READERS who cannot HEAR the NOISES being EMITTED by the TRIO of POKéMON!
...What's a reader?
GRANT is asking what a READER is in a LIBRARY?!
...Yeah I didn't think you were going to give a stragiht answer to that.
EKANS used BALL!
EKANS threw a BALL to NOIBAT, LOUDRED and ZUBAT!
NOIBAT, LOUDRED and ZUBAT all think they should be the one to HAVE A BALL!
SINGING descended into a BRAWL for a BALL!
NOIBAT fainted!
LOUDRED fainted!
LIBRARIAN LIBBY is out of usable POKéMON!
LIBRARIAN LIBBY ran away!
Yes, we won!
ZUBAT fainted!
Aw.
Huh? EKANS is evolving!
EKANS evolved into ARBOK!
Well, that's cool.
...Err, which of us is going to carry that... Thing... With us?
ROCKET GRANT used GESTURE!
ROCKET GRANT gestured to the OMINOUS BLUE TOME!
Hey, it might be cursed. You've got the protagonist grade plot armor, why don't you--
ARBOK used GLARE!
--let me carry it for you seeing as you currently have usable Pokémon and I'd have to fight you myself if we got into a battle over this.
When last we saw Joey, he had just set out on his Pokémon journey. He's made it as far as Violet City and is starting to wonder if his mother might have had a point...
Battle 20: Joey Learns a Secret
Published: 21/05/22
Location: Violet City
Player: Youngster Joey (3-0-0)
...Maybe mom was right...
Is JOEY having SECOND THOUGHTS about being on a POKéMON JOURNEY at such a YOUNG AGE?!
No!
I just mean about me and Rattata...
...I should try and patch things up...
Even though he started it!
Rattata, go!
JOEY sent out RATTATA!
Butterfree, go!
JOEY sent out BUTTERFREE!
See, Rattata. I've caught and fully evolved another Pokémon.
Surely you don't think I'm a useless trainer now?
RATTATA doesn't look impressed!
RATTATA thinks even a BUG CATCHER can catch a CATERPIE!
RATTATA thinks BUTTERFREE are EASY to EVOLVE!
RATTATA thinks that its pretty PATHETIC for a TRAINER to be so concerned with the opinion of a RATTATA!
RATTATA still thinks the only thing JOEY is good for was CHEESE!
...And JOEY hasn't given RATTATA CHEESE for a while!
...
...Show's what mom knows...
Both of you, return.
JOEY withdrew RATTATA and BUTTERFREE!
BIG BRO JACOB appeared!
Huh? I don't have a-- Oh. Trainer type Big Bro, not my big bro.
Jacob: Yeah I get that a lot, the Narrator can be a bit ambiguous with it.
Jacob: You looked like you might be having Pokémon problems there? You remind me of my kid brother. Same fashion sense, even.
Jacob: I need to get back to Kanto to give him a hand with a problem that I can't sort over the phone, but if you want to run the problem by me real fast maybe I can give you a quick tip?
My Rattata doesn't think I'm a strong enough trainer for it, so I need to get stronger to win it back over.
JACOB used scratch!
JACOB scratched behind their ear!
Jacob: Are you sure that's the problem? Because if it's not, that approach to fixing things could land you in a heap of trouble...
Yeah I'm sure, and you look like you've got Pokémon, so let's go!
Jacob: I don't really have time for a--
JACOB doesn't really want to fight!
But JACOB already made EYE CONTACT!
As such JACOB was already committed to a fight!
Butterfree, go!
JOEY sent out BUTTERFREE!
JACOB sent out GRINDSTONE
...That's a weird Pokémon.
Jacob: Tell me about it. Who even uses these things any more?
How'd you get it, then?
Jacob: Between helping Ben via phone, trying to raise a Pokémon, my creative projects, and my part time job at Goldenrod radio tower the Narrator decided I was keeping my nose to the grindstone and made the phrase... literal, I guess.
Jacob: Hurt like hell, but I'm not really one to look a gift pun in the mouth so I caught it.
JACOB and JOEY are loafing around!
GRINDSTONE and BUTTERFREE look at each other awkwardly!
NARRATOR hopes this doesn't become a pattern with JOEY's battles!
Sorry! Sorry!
Butterfree, try a hypnosis.
BUTTERFREE used HYPNOSIS!
GRINDSTONE started acting like a CHICKEN!
GRINDSTONE used CLUCK!
GRINDSTONE disapproves of being a CHICKEN!
No effect on battle!
...Err... Maybe try a free attack?
BUTTERFREE used FREE!
GRINDSTONE wants to BREAK FREE!
GRINDSTONE escaped!
GRINDSTONE is now Wild!
JACOB sent out BIDOOF!
GRINDSTONE used PECK!
GRINDSTONE is PECKING at the ground!
...Wait it's no longer Jacob's Pokémon, and still under the effects of hypnosis...
This is a chance to show Rattata how great a trainer I am by catching something rare!
Jacob: Hey!
Pokéball, go!
JOEY threw a POKéBALL!
JOEY's attack missed!
JOEY's attack kept going and crashed!
...Ooops...
...Into JACOB!
Sorry! Sorry! I've even been practicing my acc--
JACOB was caught!
BIDOOF returned to JACOB!
...WHAT?!
...But he's a human trainer, not a Pokémon!
...Unless...
...That would... Explain why I was able to send myself out in my battle against Caterpie...
...
JOEY used LEARN!
JOEY learnt a SECRET about the WORLD today!
GRINDSTONE used CLUCK!
Its super annoying!
...I should still catch the Grindstone...
JOEY threw another POKéBALL!
GRINDSTONE was caught!
...Maybe two new Pokémon, one of whom's a trainer, will convince Rattata...
Rattata, go!
JOEY sent out RATTATA!
Hey, Rattata, I caught a couple of new Pokémon today. See, I'm not useless, afterall!
JOEY used SHOW!
JOEY showed off their newly caught GRINDSTONE!
RATTATA thinks the GRINDSTONE is just a BAD JOKE rather than something actually RARE!
Well how about this?
JOEY showed off JACOB!
RATTATA is shocked!
RATTATA thinks JOEY should release JACOB!
What? Why?
RATTATA thinks that while INANIMATE OBJECT class POKéMON are INANIMATE and POKéMON class POKéMON are built for being used as POKéMON, TRAINER class POKéMON shouldn't be used as POKéMON!
RATTATA is worried that RATTATA needs to explain this to JOEY!
...But... They're a Pokémon...
And I need to catch Pokémon and become a more powerful trainer.
Because I want my best friend back.
RATTATA is horrified that your doing this for RATTATA!
RATTATA thinks less of JOEY now than when JOEY thought having a BUTTERFREE was impressive!
JOEY used LISTEN!
Rattata, return!
Seems like nothing short of becoming a Pokémon master will be good enough for Rattata.
Attack clearly failed miserably!
And clearly since people are Pokémon, I'm going to have to take over Johto to become a Pokémon Master.
JOEY used JUMP!
JOEY had to leap very hard to reach that CONCLUSION!
Now... How does a kid like me take over an entire region of Sandy Version?
JOEY wandered away in thought!
Player: Youngster Mikey (0-0-1)
So he's in Violet City, huh?
...But without my appearance being announced, I wasn't getting any on from what was actually happening...
MIKEY used ASSESS!
Evidence of a Pokémon battle, no trainer blacked out or sign of retreat so probably with a wild Pokémon, and likely that he caught it. Which, itself, feels weird for him, but...
You're not going to be of any help here, are you?
MIKEY ran out of money for JOKE BOOKS!
Darn. Can I keep following him without him knowing?
MIKEY can keep going for as long as they LIKE!
MIKEY just can't get more FAVOURS from this BRIBE!