PokéBattles: Sandy Version

Over the past couple of years, Gold has been quietly (Well, he is a protagonist type, after all) going through his Pokémon journey, but it seems that he has finally reached his destination - A battle with Champion Lance. Win or lose, he has reached the end of this chapter of his life.

Battle 135: Going for Gold
Published: 05/10/24
Location: Indigo Plateau: Champion's Room
Player: Champion Lance (0-0-0)

GOLD appeared!
I've been waiting for you Gold.
Gold: ...
I knew that you, with your skills, would eventually reach me here.
Gold: ...
There's no need for words now.
Gold: ...
GOLD isn't sure if that's a jab at GOLD being a PROTAGONIST TYPE or not!
...My apologies. Not.
We will battle to determine who is the stronger of the two of us.
Gold: ...
As the most powerful trainer and as the Pokémon League Champion...
I, Lance the dragon master, accept your challenge!
Gold: ...
GOLD wants to fight!
GOLD sent out SNEASEL!
Gyarados, I choose you.
LANCE sent out GYARADOS!
Aqua Tail.
GYARADOS used AQUA TAIL!
NARRATOR would say GYARADOS's TAIL is BLUE rather than AQUA!
No effect!
I see the Narrator is in one of its odder moods.
NARRATOR's moods are as WHIMSICAL as an OTTER!
...Yeah. Definitely one of its odder moods. Ah well.
SNEASEL used BEAT UP!
SNEASEL left the BATTLEFIELD to find a YOUNGSTER to BULLY!
Gold: ...
...I'm guessing that wasn't on purpose either.
GOLD sent out AMPHAROS!
Crunch.
GYARADOS used CRUNCH!
GYARADOS crunched down on LAMB CHOPS intimidatingly!
AMPHAROS's attack fell!
...Good thinking? I think?
AMPHAROS used DISCHARGE!
AMPHAROS charged GYARADOS extortionate cost for its latest DISS TRACK!
GYARADOS fainted at the price!
LANCE will need to take out a new MORTGAGE to pay for the SINGLE!
...Is it at least good?
It's rated MIDDLING by ELECTRIC TYPE POKéMON and UNLISTENABLE by most HUMAN TRAINERS and POKéMON of OTHER TYPINGS!
...Wonderful.
Use next POKéMON?!
Dragonite, go.
LANCE sent out DRAGONITE!
Hyper beam.
DRAGONITE used HYPER BEAM!
DRAGONITE sent a BEAM of HYPERACTIVITY at AMPHAROS!
AMPHAROS caught ZOOMIES!
AMPHAROS used DAZZLING GLEAM!
...Ugh. A Fairy type move?
I see you've been to regions outside of Kanto and Johto to train your Pokémon.
AMPHAROS gleamed DAZZLINGLY at DRAGONITE!
AMPHAROS swept DRAGONITE off its feat!
...And its wings!
DRAGONITE fell in love!
At least it's my turn again.
AMPHAROS gets additional TURN due to ZOOMIES!
AMPHAROS used WHISK!
AMPHAROS whisked DRAGONITE off for a DATE!
AMPHAROS and DRAGONITE have left the arena!
Use next POKéMON?!
...Charizard, go.
LANCE sent out CHARIZARD!
GOLD sent out SUDOWOODO!
Dragon Claw
CHARIZARD used DRAGON CLAW!
CHARIZARD clawed at SUDOWOODY with DRACONIC CLAWS!
...But CHARIZARD lacks DRAGON TYPING!
...CHARIZARD has, however, BORROWED DRAGONITE's CLAW!
So the attack was successful?
Yes!
Good to know.
SUDOWOODO used HEAD SMASH!
...
SUDOWOODO smashed its HEAD into GROUND!
GROUND became DENTED!
GROUND caught a DENT!
SUDOWOODO fainted!
GOLD sent out HANDY!
Ah, the famous Handy, evolved from a Finger that was reported to have mysteriously replaced the Chikorita you chose as a starter at the start of your journey all those years ago.
HANDY used TICKLE!
HANDY lept onto CHARIZARD!
HANDY aimed for UNDER the ARMPITS!
CHARIZARD fell out of the sky from LAUGHTER!
CHARIZARD used CRASH LAND!
Huh?! DENT on is evolving!
DENT evolved into CRACK!
CHARIZARD fainted!
Aerodactyl, go.
LANCE sent out AERODACTYL!
Looks like he's on his last Pokémon. Giga Impact.
AERODACTYL used GIGA IMPACT!
AERODACTYL slammed HANDY into the GROUND!
Huh?! CRACK is evolving!
CRACK evolved into GAPING CHASM!
...That will cost a fortune to repair...
AERODACTYL feels at home!
At least one of us is happy.
HANDY fainted!
GOLD is out of--
...Hm?
SNEASEL returns to the BATTLEFIELD!
But it had already left.
SNEASEL is a POKéMON, not a TRAINER!
NARRATOR will ALLOW it!
AERODACTYL must recharge!
SNEASEL used PAYDAY!
SNEASEL bribes AERODACTYL with LUNCH MONEY, YOUTH LIBRARY CARD, and RUNNING SHOES!
...What in the world?
SNEASEL's takings from YOUNGSTER it BULLIED!
...Well at least it's a cheap bribe...
AERODACTYL took a DIVE for the BRIBE!
AERODACTYL snacked on LUNCH MONEY and RUNNING SHOES!
...And the Library Card?
AERODACTYL hungers for KNOWLEDGE!
AERODACTYL plans to FEAST at LIBRARY!
AERODACTYL pretended to faint!
At least it didn't actually faint. It can still fight.
AERODACTYL's feint faint FOOLED the JUDGE!
But you're the judge!
Is LANCE disputing NARRATOR's decision?!
You literally just said it pretended to faint.
LANCE is being a POOR LOSER!
LANCE should set a better EXAMPLE for the CHALLENGER!
LANCE used ASSESS!
LANCE assessed CHAMPION's ROOM!
...You know what, fine.
...It's over.
Gold: ...
But it's an odd feeling.
I'm not angry that I lost. In fact, I feel happy.
I feel happy that I witnessed the rise of a great new champion!
Meaning this is your room now. You get to pay the cost of the repairs to the damage caused in our battle.
Gold: ...
...Whew.
You have become truly powerful, Gold.
Your Pokémon have responded to your strong and upstanding nature.
...Except Sneasel who seems to need more discipline.
Gold: ...
As a trainer, you will continue to grow strong with your Pokémon.
Gold: ...
Huh?! GOLD is evolving!
GOLD evolved into CHAMPION GOLD!
Huh?! LANCE is devolving!
LANCE devolved into LANCE OF THE ELITE FOUR!

Location: Route 30
Player: Youngster Mikey (0-2-4)

...What is it with all the Sneasel beating me up lately?
Just ONE SNEASEL to be fair!
...That doesn't make it any better.
MIKEY used WIGGLE!
No effect!
MIKEY continued to DANGLE from PALM TREE!
The most nerve wracking thing about this is knowing it might turn sapient and eat me.
NARRATOR expects it to stay INERT!
I guess that's a relief...
...
...
...Hopefully, a trainer will come along shortly to let me down...