PokéBattles: Sandy Version

The Narrator has been preparing for an assault on Sandy Version from the Unkown Unown for some months now. But it seems the Narrator's time is up. The Battle of the Tower of the Gods is upon Sandy.

Battle 145: Battle of the Tower of the Gods
Published: 21/12/24
Location: Narrator's Tower (Exterior)
Player: Pilot Tex (0-2-0)

RIFT in FABRIC of VERSION appeared!
SECRET ROBOT emerged from RIFT!
RIFT in FABRIC of VERSION disappeared!
...We don't have much time before they realize we've arrived.
NARRATOR is surprised they have TWO MECHS!
This one's for transport, the one I was in last time I came to Sandy is for scouting. Please try and prioritize for once in your existence.
Sorry!
The SAFE HOUSES have been DESTROYED!
Great. We have a chance.
Scyther, Chainsaw, come out.
I've been thinking about this, I think our best chance is for me to attack my chest. Scyther, focus on X-Scissor. You'll only be targeting X Unown if Narrator plays along with the plan but at least it will be something. Chainsaw, use chain. Hopefully, that will reinforce the tower. If they breach it, we lose. Narrator...
NARRATOR will do what it can!
Which given they collectively are probably above your power level, might not be much in the grand scheme of things.
Good luck, everyone. I think we'll need it.
NARRATOR has seen this EVENT before!
Huh?
Do we win?
NARRATOR didn't see enough of it to know!
TEX is sure ALPHABETICAL ORDER DON'T know they BROKE FREE?!
Positive.
This is going to suck, but better than being stuck back in the void between versions. Or, worse, their prison.
UNKNOWN UNOWN started EMERGING from SECRET ROBOT!
Chainsaw, Scyther, stick to the plan.
Robot Smash!
TEX directed SECRET ROBOT to use SMASH!
SECRET ROBOT attacked OWN CHEST!
20 UNOWN died!
SECRET ROBOT took DAMAGE from the IMPACT!
TEX was hurt by EMPATHIC CONTROL LINK!
Aaaarrrrrrgh!
CHAINSAW used CHAIN!
CHAINSAW reinforced BARRIERS around NARRATOR's TOWER with CHAINS!
SCYTHER used X-SCISSOR!
SCYTHER cut one X FORM UNOWN from LIFE!
One X FORM UNOWN died!
NARRATOR used SMITE!
NARRATOR abandons VISSAGE of NEUTRALITY to EVISCERATE 50 UNOWN!
50 UNOWN died!
UNKNOWN UNOWN keep EMERGING from SECRET ROBOT!
UNKNOWN UNOWN used ALPHABET POWER!
BARRIERS were renamed ABEIRRRS
Abeirrrs: Arrr matey. I be a newborn pirate of the sand seas see.
ABEIRRS died in the onslaught!
TEX directed SECRET ROBOT to use SMASH!
SECRET ROBOT attacked OWN CHEST!
25 UNOWN died!
SECRET ROBOT took DAMAGE from the IMPACT!
TEX was hurt by EMPATHIC CONTROL LINK!
Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrgh!
TEX is in CRITICAL CONDITION!
CHAINSAW used CHAIN!
CHAINSAW chained up EMERGENCY life support for TEX!
TEX is fighting fit!
...Not the plan.
SCREW TEX's PLAN!
NARRATOR doesn't think it can WIN this WITHOUT TEX!
And the stalling tactic is hopeless without that barrier Chainsaw was chaining together.
...Ah!
SCYTHER used X-SCISSOR!
SCYTHER cut one X FORM UNOWN from LIFE!
ONE X FORM UNOWN died!
NARRATOR used BLOCKADE!
NARRATOR attempts to BLOCKADE NARRATOR's TOWER from UNKNOWN UNOWN!
It's not very effective!
...Why are you saying that?!
Even NARRATOR BIAS is no match for these NUMBERS!
UNKNOWN UNOWN used ANCIENT POWER!
Hit Unknown times!
UNKNOWN UNOWN broke into NARRATOR's TOWER!
...We... We lost...
Unless you had something up your nonexistent sleeve?
UNKNOWN UNOWN used ALPHABETIZE!
...On SANDY VERSION!
Evidently not.
NARRATOR failed!
SANDY VERSION was ALPHABETIZED!

Coming between the 23rd and 27th of December Sandy Version will update daily for Battle Fest 2: World of (Alphabetical) Order. Like last Battle Fest, to make it easier to not accidentally skip a battle, the index page won't contain the latest Battle, but instead links to the battles in the Fest that have been published thus far that week. Either read them daily, or come back next week for all five at once, your choice.